JC Pennys catelog 1977

[Darkfairy]

A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy hell this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking. I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels: 

Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom: 

There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I'm not going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something else. The clothes.

The clothes are fantastic .

Here's how to get your ass kicked in elementary school: 

 

Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.

Here's how to get your ass kicked in high school: 

This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul (Starsky & Hutch), who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.

Here's how to get your ass kicked on the golf course: 

This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block . Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece, it's slightly more effective as a deterrent against ass-rapery.

Here's how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere: 

If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.

Here's how to get your ass kicked at the beach:

He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.

How to get your ass kicked in a meeting: 

If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.

How to get your ass kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick's Day 

Dear god in heaven, I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

In this next one, Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys. 

As does your search for chest hair.

And this -- Seriously. No words. 

Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are What. The. F***. I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.

Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they? 

I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled "Cowboy Chachi Loves You Best." 

And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. That, and a blonde girl with a look on her face that says "I love the way your junk fights against that fabric." 

Then, after the lovin', you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:
 

I could go on, but I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time. I think it's the colors. That said, I will leave you with these tasteful little numbers:

Man, that's sexy.

 

 

If ya'll still cant see this, YOUR COMPUTERS SUCK!!!!!

[dinalily]

Nov. 5, 2007 at 2:52 PM I got this in an e-mail and I laughed until I cried! My sides hurt so much from laughing so hard! I love it! Sadly enough, I think I remember some of those clothes from my childhood!!!!

[Darkfairy]

Nov. 5, 2007 at 2:54 PM Yeah I sent it out a couple of time but alot of people didnt get it cuz the pics wouldnt load up, so I fixed it. I didnt wear any of that crap, but I got pics of my parents who did...hahahahaha

(Original Poster)

[officefan01]

Nov. 5, 2007 at 2:55 PM Thanks for the flashback! Can you believe when I was a teenager, our neighbors had that barrel table set in their game room? They used it to sit at to play board games and cards! It was pretty coool then... not so much now! Thanks for the laughs!

[Octobersmom]

Nov. 5, 2007 at 3:15 PM HA  I am so glad I wasn't born until 1979!  I have seen pics of my dad with an Afro and thought that was funny but these are close!

[blackcatsbroom]

Nov. 5, 2007 at 5:07 PM ok here i go showing my age...i remember that one...my parents loved JC Penney...we got all our clothes there when I was little....

[historyjunkie]

Nov. 5, 2007 at 5:13 PM

Flashback for me too:)  I think my brother had that outfit.

[celestialjules]

Nov. 5, 2007 at 6:59 PM

OMFG.. I wouldn't mind lassoing Chachi! *ahem* As I were.. anyways. Love it and if I opened a bar I would sooooo have that barrel set. roflmao

[tiredofthebull]

Nov. 5, 2007 at 7:56 PM OMG...freakin' hilarious..my friend's dad had a purple jumpsuit he wore every so often (IN THE 90'S). ..Brings back the memories...lol.

[SuperHumanC]

Nov. 5, 2007 at 8:44 PM I about peed in my pants from laughing so hard!! Thanks mama !

[mlaarnes]

Nov. 5, 2007 at 8:48 PM

OMG, that was so very funny, I think I just peed a little!  Sad thing is...I remember a lot of those types of outfits.

Loved the commentary, too!