i have been married for almost 3 yrs. it seems that we hit a bump in the road. a huge one!!! i am up m-f at 530am.. to jump in the shower and get myself ready for work. when my daughter wakes up, i am the one that gets her up, changes her and feeds her. while the hubby is laying in bed. i drop her off with either my aunt of my parents house in the am. i work until 5 pm i go get her and by the time i get home, its not until after 6pm. i make dinner, clean a little bit and spend time with my daughter. she goes to bed around 8pm. that gives me 2 hrs to spend with her. my point is, i am NOT getting enough help from him! it seems like i am doing all of it. even on weekends, i am up with her not him. but he tells me that i am lazy and worthless. i dont appreciate that and we have gotten into several fights about this before, but he keeps saying i am lazy worthless and useless. i have been sleeping upstairs solo for almost 3 weeks now and he sleeps on the couch. we dont say much to each other either. i just dont know what to do. i love my daughter and i dont wanna lose her bc of his negativity!! also, if i have to do something, i ask him to watch her . i should not have to do that!! he should just do it. but when he has to do something, he just leaves and does it! how is that fair??? i know this is probably leading towards a divorce - but if it does it does. i dont know what else to do!! we are also having some financial issues and my hubby still blames me bc i took off 6 months on maternity leave. so he blows that in my face to this day!!! if we did get a divorce, he can see her as much as he wants. but i dont wanna lose her being with me :( but i also know that if we did divorce, i think that for now, he woudl wanna see her, but down the road it would be like i cant come i am sick, or its snowing really hard,etc... excuses!! i just dont know what to do anymore :(

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Nov. 7, 2007 at 11:35 AM Have you tried counseling?

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Nov. 7, 2007 at 11:58 AM

this will not sound comforting, but it is not about you any more; the most important person in this situation is your daughter. Whatever is best for her - is right for you to do. Try counceling. Have your husband always been like this? Or has he changed. If he is not a complete jerk ( you fell in love with each other once, right?) - it is both or your job to make it work for the sake of your child. Ask him(your husband) what are his expectaions to you and tell him what do you expect from him. The happiest families are not the ones who don't have problems, but the ones who work problems out.

I hope this helps.

With the best whishes,

Olga (married for 7 years, mom of 4-years old adorable monster)

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