What Would You do IF....

[hazeymom26]

It was completely innocent enough, checking some old emails I had in another email account, and I dared peek at one, and now I'm thinking it was the worst thing I could've done today...see,

the email I read is from a Colon Cancer Support Group...and the post I read was about how some people never have symptoms when diagnosed, and now, all I can say is, I'm scared..and since I'm scared, all these thoughts come into my head.

What if it was me? After all, my mom was diagnosed with colorectal cancer last December. So now I'm a higher risk for it. I'm 42, and the thought of having cancer and possibly dying has me in tears, what would happen to my kids? Yes, I know, they'll be with their father, but how could I leave them at such a young age?? I know, I'm getting way ahead of myself, right?

So now, I pose the question to you...because, as scary as the thought would be...what if?

you were diagnosed with something fatal...and you have young kids, would you be scared? I just can't begin to fathom it all, it's very very overwhelming and scary. I know, kids are resilient. Life would go on, but you know?? OMG, I feel sick to my stomach with the thought....

I'm scared. I have NO idea how I would cope. I think I would need valium or something. God Help Me.

 

Tags: cancer, death, diagnosis, fear, legacy, mortality, possibility, scare, what if

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[sumthnuneeq]

Nov. 13, 2007 at 11:38 AM I would be devastated, especially since I'm the only parent my son has. His father passed away 2-6-02. Due to my childhood and the way my mom is I DO NOT want her raising my son. The only one left would be my sister, but she has 4 kids of her own. I know that she would take him though without a second thought, if for no other reason than to keep my mom from taking him. She can't stand my mom and doesn't talk to her due to the things my mom put her through in the past. I know she wouldn't want my son going through the same things. But like I said, I would be devastated to know that there is a possibility that I won't be around and able to see him grow into an even more amazing person. He's already an amazing little boy. I just want to be there to watch him grow up, get married, and have his own family. Then my life will be complete. I just pray to God that I have that opportunity.

[v_clar]

Nov. 13, 2007 at 11:39 AM

First off, breath....You'll be ok. Feel better? Good.

As for the rest...I actually have breast cancer. I'm 43 with 2 kids, 12 and 7. Am I scared to leave them? Sure I am but I that fear has been there since they were born.  The only difference is that I have some nasty bad cells in my body that could conceivably kill me. I'm one of the lucky ones though. My cancer is stage one, non-invasive (which means it hasn't spread, so that's great) and after my lumpectomy today, I may have to do a little bit of radiation and then...nothing.

I will be perfectly honest with you, for ME I may have cancer I just won't allow cancer to have me! My life is almost exactly the same as before my diagnosis. I just have a couple of extra doctors appointments.

So, hang in there, talk to your doctor and keep an eye on things. And IF the worst happens, you will be amazed at how well you will deal with it.  

God Bless 

[ladybugg366]

Nov. 13, 2007 at 11:42 AM Hi, I know it is scary. A while ago my doctor scared the shit out of me. I had to go for a test where they take a piece of your uterous and they sent me pamphlets about cancer of the uterous. I drop when I got the papers saying that I am at risk for cancer and all I thought about was my kids. Who was going to watch after them when I'm gone. I didn't even have a will. Anyways all that stress made me sick and I finialy went down to the doctors office and asked to talk to my doctor. When he sat me down and explained everything to me I felt a little better. I was at risk because of faimly history but I was fine. He said he sent information just so I could learn about it. Granit you might be at risk but talk to your doctor and find out everything you can and just get tested on a regular basis. I know that it is scary but you have to live you life to the fullest because we are not promised tomorow and I learned that the hard way. I wish you good health and good luck.

[hazeymom26]

Nov. 13, 2007 at 11:43 AM I agree Sumthnuneeq...I want to be around until ALL my kids are grown up and married, with kids, but I know I might be asking for too much. I suppose part of my fear is knowing you can have all kinds of tests done but doctors not finding anything wrong, yet something IS wrong..misdiagnosis is a scary thing to me...it also doesn't help that new discoveries are being made all the time, this or that causing cancer, blah blah blah...nothing is safe anymore! I just don't want to live my life in fear, but I don't want to pretend that it won't happen to me..I know better- I just don't want my life to be cut short, I want to live to be in my 80's or 90's...I know, I'm asking for too much!

(Original Poster)

[sumthnuneeq]

Nov. 13, 2007 at 12:11 PM

I can understand everything you said because I have often felt the same way. I too am afraid of misdiagnosis and all the things we find out about that cause cancer that we never would have thought. It's sad, but you're right, nothing is safe anymore. I don't want to live in fear either. I do now, but I'm trying to change that. That is no way to live your life. It can consume you. I'm dealing with that now. My greatest fear right now is that I might have an aneurysm. My son's father was very abusive to me and would always hit me in the head or slam my head into things. I have frequent headaches now. I have been checked out but they found nothing. I have had headaches that sometimes last for 5 days, with NO relief no matter what I do or what pill I take. So I'm always afraid that something is wrong that they aren't seeing and that one day I will just cease to exist. I'm horrified by the thought that I could just drop dead any second with my son here to deal with it. It might seem silly to some, but that is one of the fears I deal with. Along with others, like cancer. I don't think you are asking too much. Just do what you need to do to try to stay on top of things. If you ever feel like something is wrong that they aren't seeing or doing something about, keep fighting until you get what you need. Don't ever let anyone just push you to the side. After all, it is your life. You, your mom, and your family are in my prayers.