Black Friday Shenanigan

[Guinhyvar]

Alright, yesterday I had a few errands to run, and one of said errands took me to the local Walmart. I know; pure insanity, right? Well, I did get there pretty early, so in actuality, it wasn't as bad as I had feared.

So I'm meandering through the store and I decide to head over to the toys to see what's what. Now, I have pretty much finished shopping for my kids. Almost. But I wanted to see the deals and sales, and maybe pick up a couple of things for the stockings if something caught my eye.

As you can imagine, that part of the store was PURE bedlam. I mean, it was outta control over there. People were literally all over the place; some of them scaling the very shelves to get to the toys on top, willing to risk life and limb to save some dough.

Well, in the center of the wide aisles, they have these enormous bins with what is, I am gathering, their BEST deals offered. And one of these bins must have something pretty damn kick ass in it because it was almost empty. Almost, I say, because inside it was a single woman who had actually climbed inside to lay claim to the very last toy. And just as she is heaving herself back over, another woman, sweaty and frantic and trailed by a bored looking employee, comes darting up.

She sees the first woman, who I'll call Bin Lady, toy in hand and climbing out. The second woman, who I'll call Desperate, lets out an audible groan, and wails, "OH! I was just coming back to get that very toy! I got someone to help me!" and she's eyeing Bin Lady, hoping that she'll relinquish the coveted toy.

"That's too bad," Bin Lady replies, dropping said toy into her cart. "Better luck next time, right?" I can see it in her face and demeanor, Bin Lady is just oozing with smugness. She's not sorry. Not one bit.

"But I saw it first!" Desperate says, and I can tell that in her mind, this triumphs all. Clearly she thinks that she's entitled to that toy, since she "saw it first". Those ARE the rules of polite society, no?

But Bin Lady isn't adhering to the rules of polite society today. She worked  for that toy, dammit, and she is going to keep it! "Oh, well. I got it out. Maybe you should have climbed in there, then," she tells Desperate, and with a final smirk, pushes her cart into the crowd, leaving Desperate fuming.

I continue on my way, shaking my head. Some people, I think, but the incident is forgotten quickly, more out of self-preservation as someone nearly runs me down in an attempt to cut me off from turning down an aisle. An aisle that I wasn't even planning on going down, but whatever. I'm looking for Magnetix, but not finding any, decide to make my way out of there before I get killed or something. I manage to wheel my cart around, and start heading back the way I came, making my way throught the throng.

And as I approach from the other side, I see Bin Lady stopped in front of a huge display of Littleset Pet Shoppes. She has one hand on the handle of her cart, but her attention is on the box she's looking at. And who should be approaching from the opposite direction? None other than Desperate, that's who.

Desperate (who is coming towards me, Bin Lady has her back to me) is eyeing Bin Lady with no little malice. And as she creeps forward, I'm thinking, holy crap, she's going to RAM her! But then I realize that she is moving way too stealthily for that. As stealthy as one can move whilst pushing a shopping cart filled to the brim with toys and a bum wheel, that is... but Bin Lady doesn't seem to notice her, all the same.

Desperate doesn't look so desperate now; she looks pissed. Pissed, with a Plan. And as Bin Lady lets go of her cart entirely and turns the box she's holding with both hands, Pissed with a Plan busts her move! She swoops in, hand like a snake, and scoops up the earlier disputed toy and deposits it into her cart! And then she's rolling past, finding a hole in the crowd, and is making a beeline for the front of the store, the checkouts furthest from the toys.

Bin Lady is, apparently, oblivious that she has just been... robbed? Is it robbery if it wasn't yet her's? She continues to study the box, but resumes her grip on her cart... for all the good it does her! 

Well. I happen to catch the eye of a young man who has also seen the entire thing, and he shakes his head, saying, "I'm outta here. Someone's gonna bleed!"

I second that, I think, and head for cover. Which would be the checkout. Furthest away from the toys...

Awww, nothing like good old fashioned holiday shopping, right?

 

[rebl_roze]

Nov. 24, 2007 at 7:43 PM I was actually laughing...just visualizing that!! I have seen things like happen at my local walmart too...so much for the Christmas spirit huh.

[mommy_bbs]

Nov. 24, 2007 at 7:48 PM LOL i love reading your post you always have such humor in them ........

[karenmarie1971]

Nov. 24, 2007 at 7:49 PM  That was the funniest thing I have read in a very long time.Thank you so much for the laugh oh did I need that. I sure houpe you do not mind but I have got to send this to my mother......

[kaysha]

Nov. 24, 2007 at 7:50 PM

Wow. That's the reason that you will NEVER see me out and about on black friday. They claim that it's called black friday because of the stores going into the black and out of the red, but I think that they call it black friday because off all the bloodshed and anger and hurt feelings and crap.

[cynee2415]

Nov. 24, 2007 at 8:18 PM

OMG...This story is HILARIOUS. People are really like that? Wow.....LOL

[MorningFaery]

Nov. 24, 2007 at 8:43 PM i will always be out there in the midst of it all on that famous day of every year but you will never find me near a toy store, ever!  i spent 11 hours in 1 mall yesterday and loved every minute of it!  i like going alone too because i can obviously spend hours looking and re-looking.  i can always find a toy somewhere.  but i have to say that's the best one i've ever heard!

[Halitosis]

Nov. 24, 2007 at 8:45 PM

I DIDN'T KNOW ANYONE WAS WATCHING ME! HAHAHAHAHAHA