Why am I always mad?

[007chula]

Why do I feel like all I'm ever doing anymore is complaining? Man. I'm so tired of all this negativity lately. I'm just so dang stressed out. I really don't know what to do anymore. Here's my latest issue:

This last Saturday Jorge said he would take the kids because he wanted to see them and I needed a break. Well, he works second shift and sometimes he doesn't get out until 3:00 in the morning. So he needs to sleep in. So we agreed to meet at 12:00 to drop off the kids. Well, we got a little bit of a late start, but we told him 12:30 and he said ok. Well he didn't show up until 1:00. *sigh* Typical. Whatever. Well Ron wanted to watch a movie that started at 1:10 and so we were so rushed, but we barely made it. So that's how my day started. So we watched a movie that I hadn't even seen a preview for called The Mist. It was ok, but I thought the ending was so stupid. But I'm not a writer, so who cares, right? Fine. (See? Do you see the hostility? I'm sorry. I can't seem to help it.) Anyway, so after the movie, we start to head back toward Warren. But I've got a headache at this point from being so wound up and not eating anything except popcorn all day. Ron's hungry too, so we stop in Wixom at KFC. They took FOREVER to make our food. And then...his was messed up. So, I didn't want to be eating in front of him, so I waited until they fixed his order. Once we were done, we got back on the road. Well, they were having the Christmas Parade in Berkley at 5:30, so of course we had to go. Well, it was 5:00 when we got there, so we went to his mom and dad's house. His sister Teresa was up and so was her daughter Misty with her family. So we hung out til 5:30 then drove down to the corner. It was FREEZING out there. OMG! So cold. And it started snowing right as the parade was coming toward us. lol Perfect start I guess. Anyway. After the parade we went back to their house again to warm up. I thought we'd only stay for a couple of minutes and then leave. -no- They decided it was time to look for old family pictures. *sigh* *shakes head in disbelief* So after they find these pictures, they're looking through them, showing me all these people that I don't really know, they realize that these aren't even the pictures that they were looking for. ---------Ok, now let me just break in here for a sec. I love these people. They're super sweet. But this is NOT how I wanted to be spending my one free night away from the kids. I wanted to do something fun with my man. We need alone time. We need a getaway. Even if we just went home and watched movies or whatever. Just us. Nobody else. No work, no chores, no cleaning, no yelling, no fighting, no kids, no responsibilities, nada. I need that really bad right now! I'm at the point again where all I want to do is cry.------------ Back to the story...we didn't end up leaving his mom and dad's until probably 8:00ish. Then guess where we went...we went to Lowe's. And Home Depot. And KMart to look at Christmas trees. UGH! I wanted to scream. But we got a stupid tree at KMart and left. We passed these two houses that were so lit up with lights that I asked him to stop. They were great! But as I was taking pictures, he went back to the car because he was cold and his back was hurting (which I understand). So we headed home, but we were close to Ponderosa (my favorite restaurant of all time), so I asked Ron if he wanted to go there because we hadn't eaten supper yet. This was like 9:00. (I figured maybe I could get something I like out of this day.) So he agreed. We get there and he's barely eating anything and I realize that he's full. I'm like, "Why didn't you tell me you weren't hungry?" He said, "Because I knew you wanted to come here." *sigh* So that was a waste. I could feel myself starting to cry, so I went to the bathroom. I was not going to let him see me. I was mad and sad at the same time. So we went home and put a movie in but just watched a few minutes of it before going to sleep. I was so exhausted and upset. I'm just kinda disappointed. It seems like the very few chances that we do get away from the kids, we never do anything special anymore. We go see his parents and run errands, and clean, and stupid stuff. I think I just need to get away from everyone. Maybe I should take a trip. Maybe go see my dad in Arkansas or something. I don't know. I just need a break. I don't know what else to do.

[shanna167]

Dec. 4, 2007 at 3:57 PM

hey girl,...well i just read what you wrote..i know how you feel its sooo hard when you have kids to balance it ALL,but there is one thing i know is that you have to talk to each other...if you want or need something or some one on one time with you hubby you have to talk to him tell him how your feeling.the more you keep stuff in the more it just builds up....ya know...well hun, let me know how your doing..ok..

p.s. maybe after the holidays go see your Dad,that sounds like a good idea=).....Darlene

[mamabeth4180]

Dec. 16, 2007 at 3:52 PM Aww, mama!! I am so sorry you were feeling this way. I have been there. I know it has been a couple weeks, are you feeling any better?? I hope so. If you want to talk, leave me a PM i will send you my phone#. Since we live so close. If you ever need a break, and can get away from the kids for a few, get a hold of me. We can go grab ab bite to eat, or make an evening of it and go have a drink or two, or go get our nails done... something. I totally know how it feels to be overwhelmed, and just want to run away for a minute. :0) (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) I hope you are feeling better.