I made a wish as well...My wish Continued

[angelgrl198816]

I have not seen my baby sisters for 3 mon. & the rest of my family for over a year 1/2 ....almost 2. MY WHOLE family is not congrat. us about the babybecause Robert & I aren't married & they will not do so until we are.

I normally have  a HUGE Norwegian Christmas (though this year Christmas won't be celebrated where I am):
A platter of krumkake stacked high, "lincoln log cookies" by the patter full, Kransekake staked high with the flag of Norway standing up majesticly.
1) we would have Roast beast, HOMEMADE warm sourkraught, mashed potatos with butter & gravy, & SO many other things.
2) we would all eat from a HUGE pot of homemade rice pudding with warmed jam on the side with a ONe whole almond in it & whoever gets it gets married that year.
3) we select a "santa Claus" & we each get a present & we ALL wait til each has 1 in their hands. I have a HUGE family so it takes awhile) & THEN we open...1 at a time.
-Afterwards it is time 2 joing hands 2 dance & sing.

I want my family 2 meet Robert. I met him online &  he sent for me after 6 mon. so I wouldn't be homeless again plus because we had fallen in love instantly! After our first convo that lasted 11 hours.... & now we have a baby coming & My family is disappointed in me/us.

I just got off the phone with my grandmother that raised me & I cried for about 20 min. because of what she had said about the way her/our family feels about Robert, the baby, & I.

My grandpa told me 2 abort the baby! The baby is his 1st greatgrandbaby from his FIRST grandchild (me). I will NEVER *ing kill my baby 2 make my FAMILY feel BETTER about me/Robert. They can either deal with it & be normal decent human beings or they can stay away, & FAMILY is huge 2 me but I  will NOT let them abuse my baby the way they did 2 me my whole life. Even through all of this I still miss/ love them. Family deserves your unconditional love  I'm the first gen. 2 be born in America & the baby is the 2nd.

*When Robert sent for me I went 4m Seattle-Florida & my family disowned me because "I had made my choice & my choice wasn't them"

-My little 8 yo & 11 yo sister just moved 2 Palmer, Alaska with our mother/my step father.
After they had been there a mon. I got their #. My grandma Kaeren gave me their number.
~I called & my lil angel Juju answered. OMG did I cry at the sound of my baby's voice. She didn't recogn. my voice at 1st. :( she asked slowly after awhile "Sissy...?" & I told her yes, that it was sissy Alex. I heard her scream excitedly and talk a mile a min after that EVERYTIME I call now though she asks in a quiet sad voice "Sissy, Are you coming to Christmas this year? Can you please come? I miss you..." as she cries.

Honestly, it has gotten 2 the point that I cannot call everyday like I want 2 because of what I HAVE 2 say/hear. It breaks my heart & I have 2 get off before she hears me sob. I tell her "No honey, sissy cannot afford it right now, but soon, I ho-, promise!" she cries, "how soon? this year?" & I was saying "yeah, I promise it will be this ye-" when I caught on, smart girl, & I said  "Julia, next year, since this year is almost over, WILL see you again I just do not know when" she cries so much that she hyperventilates. I read 2 her over the phone as often as I can but it sadly is not enough for EITHER of us. my stepdad Greg says me reading to her "is unnecessary" so I have 2 call when he isn't there or I hear, "JULIA get off the phone! It is bedtime!" @ 6:28 pm. Her bedtime is @ 8:30. She cries again as I cry before she hangs-up ~I miss My lil mini me more than I can say.

~I'm crying now because I'm trying to get ahold of her & tell her she will be an aunt 4 the first time. But, mom has a tendency to lose her cell and not charge it, I know my mom VERY well

My friend, Robert, & I have all had dreams of me not making it after I give birth. We thoguht it was just a paranoia type thing until the Dr told me that because of all my diseases my kidneys have a high chance of failing either by the 6th mon/after I give birth. Honestly...I'm afraid of not seeing my family again. I was told when I was 12 by the time I was 19/21 I would need a transplant but:
~ I AM 19 now
~My Dr said I have a choice "terminate" (what a nice way to say kill!) MY miracle baby so I can get the transplant/try again (what part of I was told I was sterile at 12 yo at Seattle Children's Hosp. does my bloody Dr NOT get! the I/was/told/or sterile?) OR I can take a chance/TRY to carry the baby 2 term OR give birth & then possibly die. GREAT choices I have

WE are scared of our "options" I do NOT want 2 kill OUR miracle baby. I ALREADY love him/her as does Robert. He wraps his arm around us at night/pulls us close against him & says "I love you mommy" while he rubs my belly & says "I love you mini-me" It would break BOTH of our hearts if ANYTHING happened 2 OUR baby.

I'm sorry I put all this. I have no one 2 talk 2, I'm deep in the woods of Alabama about 40 min. 4m town & don't know how 2 drive. I'm BEYOND lonely & since my family has abandoned me YET AGAIN, all I have is blogs & the open web, which helps, I guess...
*I'm sorry 2 have put all this it is just that with the baby & the fact NO ONE is happy for Robert & I besides us,it HURTS, big time...

Anyone who will vote 4 my wish & help me so I can see my Juju/Hannah Banana again, I would ETERNALLY be your friend & help you in ANYWAY I can.
Love you all & have a Happy holiday season

Tags: baby, christmas, depressing, homesick, kidney, pregnant

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[patastini]

Dec. 15, 2007 at 7:59 PM

I read this post and really know you are feeling bad because of all that is going on.  I have 3 daughters, &  if any of them would've gotten pregnant, I could never abort the baby and would do anything to help them.  I would be more concerned for your health than anything!  How long have you known, really known, Robert?  Has he had a chance to meet your family and spend time with them & interact with them--that is very important?  How about you & his parents &/or family?

It sounds as if this was a hurry up thing and that worries me for you.  It also concerns me that you are so young and also have health issues.  I believe that you need one on one, rather than on-line to really know each other.  Does Robert have a good job, so that you will not have any worries with medical issues and you do know that any health insurance that he might have that would include you, could be a problem because of your pre-existing condition?  Another thing is that you may be changing drs. in different states and that could be a problem.

I am in GA right on the Alabama border & was wondering where in AL you are?  Anyway, I would support you, but you do need to give some serious thought to all that is going on.  Don't abort this baby & if at all possible, try to talk with your grandmother and see how she is willing to help.  Let me know how things are going and I will look forword to hearing from you.   Pat  aka  patastini