It was addressed to both me and my ex, apparently not everyone in my family knows we got divorced. I just can't stand this. I don't know how to feel anymore! Not sure I even want to feel anything at all. I dunno, I know it's over, I know that nothing will ever be the same again, but I just can't stop caring. I wan't to so badly, but just can't. I guess it will be a little easier since he moved.  Uggg, I am just stressed and not looking forward to this Christmas since it is the first one without him here and getting that card today just made it even worse. Thanks for listening.

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surph...
Dec. 6, 2007 at 5:20 PM My now ex divorced me after 22  years; he had found a 24 year old that better suited his needs.  It has been over 2 years and I finally is not affected 90% of the time when I think about him.  When you have children, that costant reminder makes it harder than ever.  I must admit I miss the family holidays because it is more difficult for the kids.  This is one of those one day at a time situations and it will get better. Two things I did after the divorce and both have helped. first I worked on fixing me so that I was happier and would not go through a nother divorce somewhere down the road.  Secondly, when I get that "I still love him" feeling I start to be realistic and write down a list of things that were not that wonderful such as the constant put downs, or the strip clubs, or his ignoring his part as father of the family.  I learned that I still love him, I care that his life goes well, but there were many things I had grown to dislike about him and he is not interested in changing.  So...I work on me, work to keep myself happy, have the belief that somewhere out there I will find a better match and over time it has gotten so much better.  Someone told me that is you don't feel anything even after a couple years that you didn't love the person enought to begin with. So feeling bad is part of the healing process.  Somethings you just cannot hurry.

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