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Step Kids:Be loving , be supportive, be caring, be firm, be stern, be there.....
- Dec 6, 2007 at 6:57 PM
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I was once a step kid myself(still am)..but, I had a hard time..part of it, may also have been partially my own fault..but, NOT most of it..from MY point of view...
My step dad is A TON better now..he still has a "icky" side to him..but, he is a LOT kinder than he was when I first got to know him..and when I was growing up with him!!
He had a humongous temper..and I do mean humongous!!
He was sooo frightening..that I once reported him to the Police! I didn't want to..but, a boyfriend and some other friends of mine, told me that I ought to..so I did!!
I don't want to recap any of my old sagas', but there were some that were pretty bad back then
But, since I now have step kids..two older that like me just fine..and two younger..that are "undecided" at this point in their personal lives.., I have had to learn about life..and how to deal with these things..as they hit me!!
But, I had just finished writing to a mom with a sassy mouthed step kid...and writing to her..twice about it..once on a forum,and once in a personal letter to this mom...it made me honestly think about what is "Really happening" to these kids..during this time in their lives...
I guess, I could have been going thru some of that as well! The feelings of jealousy,,and the feelings that they would rather NOT share their personal family member with a "new person"..etc..(even if they have had on other person in their life already, before me!)
It sucks, that's all!
But, I kind of understand their plight!!
But, when you have step kids..don't hit or get so mad that you even slightly "go in that direction of smacking them!"" Kids WILL remember this... for the rest of their natural lives!!
YOU do NOT want to have enemies...you want to be amiable..and to be able to work it out,,,in a better way!!
If need be, counseling(which is what not only my family did..under MY repeated suggestions) and also my step dad got a ton of therapy as well!!..can truly do miracles..because it opens the doors and opens up the lines of communications that are soooo lacking!!
I totally think that counseling would benefit a LOT of families...in this situation...when you are bonding families together!!
Anyhow,, whatever you do, don't let the kids have their way..but, don't let them win..either...Just keep working at it..or get that long awaited therapy!!!
IT helps, trust me, it does!!!
good luck!!
ladyk99
My step dad is A TON better now..he still has a "icky" side to him..but, he is a LOT kinder than he was when I first got to know him..and when I was growing up with him!!
He had a humongous temper..and I do mean humongous!!
He was sooo frightening..that I once reported him to the Police! I didn't want to..but, a boyfriend and some other friends of mine, told me that I ought to..so I did!!
I don't want to recap any of my old sagas', but there were some that were pretty bad back then
But, since I now have step kids..two older that like me just fine..and two younger..that are "undecided" at this point in their personal lives.., I have had to learn about life..and how to deal with these things..as they hit me!!
But, I had just finished writing to a mom with a sassy mouthed step kid...and writing to her..twice about it..once on a forum,and once in a personal letter to this mom...it made me honestly think about what is "Really happening" to these kids..during this time in their lives...
I guess, I could have been going thru some of that as well! The feelings of jealousy,,and the feelings that they would rather NOT share their personal family member with a "new person"..etc..(even if they have had on other person in their life already, before me!)
It sucks, that's all!
But, I kind of understand their plight!!
But, when you have step kids..don't hit or get so mad that you even slightly "go in that direction of smacking them!"" Kids WILL remember this... for the rest of their natural lives!!
YOU do NOT want to have enemies...you want to be amiable..and to be able to work it out,,,in a better way!!
If need be, counseling(which is what not only my family did..under MY repeated suggestions) and also my step dad got a ton of therapy as well!!..can truly do miracles..because it opens the doors and opens up the lines of communications that are soooo lacking!!
I totally think that counseling would benefit a LOT of families...in this situation...when you are bonding families together!!
Anyhow,, whatever you do, don't let the kids have their way..but, don't let them win..either...Just keep working at it..or get that long awaited therapy!!!
IT helps, trust me, it does!!!
good luck!!
ladyk99
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