What did I do so wrong, that I have to be punished in such a way!

[3angels2love]

So since that day that Kaige had his big turn around nothing seems to be getting better.  They said they were turning his settings down on his oxygen and everything seemed fine.  The doctor called yesterday and said that they did a xray and his lungs came back hazy looking.  They are thinking he might have namonia(sp?), or else its because they setting on his ventalator(breathing machine) was so high.  They started him on anti biotics.  She called today and said that they had to move him to another breathing machine...(one that is noisy and that shakes his whole body because it gives so many breaths at one time.)  They are also giving him medicine to paralyze him temporarily because he is so uncomfortable.  Im so scared I dont know what to do or think.  I just keep crying because Im actually scared that I might loose my little guy.  I know this isnt anyway to think but nothing seems to be getting better for him.  As for Cyris he is off of all breathing machines and is eathing about 1oz every 3hrs through his feeding machine which is really good.  He also weighs 2lbs 15oz.  I just wish there was some way to comfort myself and these feelings I have.  The last time I had this bad of a feeling Nick was right there to hold me and tell me everything was going to work out.  Well he is at work and I am home by myself and I just wish he was here to hold me. 

[MamaMcJ]

Dec. 6, 2007 at 9:50 PM

I will keep you and your new family in my thoughts and prayers.  I wish all of you the best!

[juliedino3]

Dec. 10, 2007 at 12:06 AM I WILL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS AND IF YOU NEED TO TALK JUST SEND ME AN EMAIL I WILL BECOME YOUR FRIEND THANKS  JULIE

[MamaLyon]

Dec. 12, 2007 at 1:03 AM

Your boys are adorable first off. And I know that this has to be a really hard time for you. I had 2 preemies myself. But don't give up hope that everything will turn around. And if you feel that you might know that I will have you and your babies in my thoughts and prayers. Hakuna Matata...as my husband would tell me when I would start feeling that way. (We loved the Lion King LOL) If you need someone to talk to send me an email and I'll be your friend. Stay strong and take care.

Elisha