My family,and my life ,my friendships, and starting anew!!

[ladyk99]

Some people in my family are really going thru some tough stuff...I can't say here, except that they are really going thru some tough times..and I am constantly thinking about them! I just really pray that things will get better for all of them...because I am very worried about them..and I want the absolute best for them!

I am also worried about hubby's job..and hope that he gets either another contract signed for a new job or better yet a more permanent position in the job that he is in now.

Also, I am very grateful, to have some new friends where I live..very happy! I really like my new friend, her fiance' and her children! They are a nice family! I love to hang with them all, when they aren't that busy!! I am just grateful to have friends, period! My life has basically started over again..and this is a strange sensation for me...because I used to be with a good friend of mine for many many years... but, when I was going to be with my fiance' ..he basically gave me a choice..and I picked him over her..because SHE or "M" was NOT making life any easier for me to be with him!
"M" felt threatened and tried everything she could to try to get me to "Think about my life" before going off to live with him.She is also a "downer" kind of person, in general...so it was a hard hard soooooo difficult thing for me to have to do..but, I finally,finally ended the friendship!! I sort of didn't know just how UNhealthy that friendship had gotten to be, for me!

I have looked online, regarding "what is a healthy friendship, and what is NOT" and basically, my" hubby- to- be"(at that time,when he was my fiance') told me that he thought "M" will not give up, in trying to sabatoge the relationship that he and I ,have together! I feel that he was pretty much right on the nose about that!! I found out later, via an ex-boyfriend, who sent forward a letter about me, from her to him..that she thinks that I am this "stuck up person" and that all I do is think about myself all of the time!! Also, that I "misunderstood" what she had been trying to tell me, all along, regarding my relationship with my future hubby..and that she thought that the reason that I ended my friendship with her...was because of the fian'ce!! (It was HIS fault)!!!

But, she could be hurtful,and mind you, I saw things about her, that really pissed me off, big time!
She would go after MY other boyfriends in the past..and she went after everybody else's, including my younger sister's boyfriend a long time ago!! She thinks that men are "fair game" if you are just dating them! I had two friends like this...both of them Tauruses!! GRRRRRR!
Ironic huh?!!!

I do NOT happen to agree with this...I feel that when you are with a person..you are WITH that person..and NO, I will NOT share!!! Not sorry here!!
I don't think that anybody should be flirting with another person's man!! or who ever's partner..if that one person is serious with that person..and wants it that way!!!
I DO get pissed off, when another person moves in on the one that I want to be with!! I DO get green eyed...and jealous! LOL!

But, seriously...I just didnt' like HER lame attitude!!! Not at all!!!

"M" unfortunately had tried a lot of "other things" in my friendship with her..and I TRIED so hard to rationalize it..but, when I would talk about this with my mom, or other good friends, they all told me the same advice...that "she was NOT a good friend..and sure didn't know how to be one!!" (Ya, know. I had wondered, if it was just me that felt like that..but, I guess I have been since proven wrong!!) In other words, I was right all along!! Thank the Lord!!! *grins*!!!

Well, I just have to say that even if it does feel odd to start over...maybe this time around..I will learn what is "the more normal healthier friendships" are truly made out of!!!
I just have to relearn about what I need,and what I do NOT need in my life!!
I kind of miss having a friend that I can tell EVERYTHING to...but, maybe I need to grow up, and well, just NOT do that gossiping thing all of the time! (It's hard to give that up LOL! I liked doing that...but, more about celebrities...I don't want to do that about other people...I have learned NOT to on that..I would rather have the "respect" from other people...just to know that they know..that I will NOT discuss their life with another person, EVER!!! That they can totally trust me!!
That is very important to me!! (A former co-worker changed me, from that day forward....some years back..and since then, I have really tried to keep my cool...I slipped only a few times..and started to talk about another..but, then I realized what I had done wrong..and went back and apologized to one of the people that I had said something stupid to..and they understood!

I really make an effort NOT to gossip about others...I want for my family and friends to KNOW that I will be there for them..and I will NOT divulge secrets that they tell me..that once they tell me..I either "Forget" about them or lock my lips up tight!!
This is just a really, really important thing to me!!!
I do NOT want to lose friendships over doing the "stupid stuff" towards others..and or against others!! NOT if I can help it!!!


anyhow, I just wanted to say my peace....t'is all!!

ladyk99