At-home (Again)

[AZMomof4]

Hi, my name is Lisa.  I am a 38 year old mother of 4.  My older two are from a previous marriage and I was shocked in September of '05 to learn I was pregnant with twins.  I was going for a girl in #3 and wanted to share the experience with the love of my life as he had no children.  I was blown away to see I was having twins as it took 3 AIs with my first child.  This twin gift was our first try and it wasn't even a whole-hearted effort.  I did get that girl and I got a sweet, amazing, beautiful boy as well.

So, I am an at-home mom again and (please don't hate me for saying this) I am not enjoying it all.  It is a very selfish stance to take.  My babies are AWESOME, healthy and define "good baby."   I honestly wondered what people meant when they said they had a "good baby" until Reed and Zoe came along.  Nothing against Connor and Caleb.  Connor was colicky and Caleb was a special needs baby.  

Reed and Zoe are great sleepers, great players, great fun and I feel very special and blessed for having them in my/our life.  I just miss working so bad.  I miss the free time, the adult interaction, the lunch breaks, etc.  Does anyone else experience the feeling of becoming the invisible woman when they decide to stay home?  I guess it is a unversal thing.  I know I am lucky to be able to stay home and I know I would dread and loath dropping my babies off at daycare.  I am envious of my sisters who live in our hometown and have our mother taking care of their children while they work.  

I was at home with my first 2 boys and could never deprive Reed and Zoe of that same opportunity.  I just feel like I have become a chronic complainer, lazy and unappreciated by all.  It sucks.  It hasn't helped that one or more of my children has been sick all winter and we havn't been able to get out much.  My husband wants me to home school the twins when they get a little older.  I finally told him the other night there was no way I'd be able to do that.  I want to get back in the "real world."  In fact, I can't wait.   

[sgr123]

Feb. 28, 2007 at 4:38 PM I can't imagine going back to work. But I can see how you would. Surprise pregnancies can do that to you. But your are doing what is right for your kids, right? As long as you feel that way you can get through it. And do you have any local mommy groups? I don't really here. But maybe you can find one and be able to make some friends in the same situation. And I would like to congratulate you on the birth of your babies.

[momof2g3b]

Feb. 28, 2007 at 4:42 PM

Girl, find a mommy's day out center!!!  I can so totally understand your duress!  There are 18 years age difference between my two youngest.  Being a completely "at home" mom after having been "set free" would have done me in!  I retired from my job months before Robbie came along and was about to go nuts!  Don't get me wrong....I absolutely love my little guy; I love playing with him, bathing him, teaching him to talk.  I am realistic, though.  I know that I can't take care of him unless I take care of me.  Sooooo, he goes to daycare (and that is another story in and of itself) for 2-4 hours a day.  He loves, loves, loves being with other kids, and it gives me time to do my housework (the stuff the maid doesn't do, anyway...and yes, I have someone come in and vacuum, mop, change sheets and dust every other week), time to do my homework (did I mention I am a full time student?), and time to read a dime novel or take a snooze.  I also bowl on a ladies league on Mondays.  His schedule is flexible.  I am a much better mom because I realize I have to have some "me" time.  Happy mom equals happy children.

I am with you on the NO WAY AM I GOING TO HOMESCHOOL!  Robbie will not go to school until he is 7 years old...we will move back to Sweden in a year and they don't start until then.  NO WAY am I going to wait that long to get back in the "real world."  Preschool is my friend!

Best of luck! 

[my2babs]

Feb. 28, 2007 at 4:47 PM don't feel bad at all. staying at home is tuff. when i had my son 4 yrs ago, i was so happy to get to stay home. but josh was colic, never slept, and pretty much screamed at me all day. one day it was so bad, i put him in his crib, and walked outside and sat on my front steps and cried my eyes out! i'm sure my neighbors thought i was insane! so when i found out i was pregnant only 18 months after he was born i was so upset. i cried! i took 5 pregnancy tests b/c i just thought there was no way i could go through another yr of hell. i felt so guilty! my sister had been trying for three yrs for another child and a few friends and one cousin were all having fertility trouble. but she was born and all was at ease! she was an awsome baby. but the guilt i felt was so overwhelming! i thought, i am such an ungrateful bitch! but while it's hard having two kids so close in age, i never feel bad for having bad days. you shouldn't feel bad. being a mom is hard!! try making more time for you. go to the store alone, take a long bath. and look into preschools and play groups. my son goes to preschool three days a week, and to be honest, it's all i can do to wait until my daughter can go this fall!!!