So here we are, it is the end of December. I cannot believe my little Tayla is two months old. It kind of makes me sad...is that nuts? To be sad about her getting older? I guess the real reason is because I know I have to go back to work next month. I wish that I had the option to stay home with her. I feel like I am going to miss so much of her. Her learning and changing. What if she changes so fast, and I miss seeing her reach milestones. Who would have thought this would be so taxing. I also wonder if she will like her day care lady, or not. I hope that she will light up when I come for her, I am just so scared to not see her for hours on end. I have not left her but for maybe a 10 minute trip to the store, and then she was with my husband. I also am dreading giving her bottles, or other people giving her bottles. I will feel like, hey that isn't right, I should be breast feeding her...Then I wonder if she will prefere the bottle over me. That will devastate me. Tomorrow is the day we start bottles. I have to be strong and hack it because I don't want it to be any harder on her. Can you imagine not teaching your baby to use a bottle before she has to? Talk about too much change all at once, new environment, no mommy around and this fake nipple, what the hell!!! I guess this is all part of the postpartum hormones too but oh my am I scared about the whole thing. One step at a time, and I have to have faith that it will all be okay. It will be, I just am scared.
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