before you read too much of this, no i did not have triplets...although I am wondering if that would have been easier?

Last year at this time I only had my then 3 year old daughter. I was pregnant... but only with my now 10 month old son. So you might be wondering where the other 2 kids came from. It might also throw you for an even bigger loop to admit that these two kids are 16 and 18! Might surprise some that I am not there step mom either.They are my nephews,my husbands brothers sons.

I have been meaning to write this journal post for a while but with two teenage boys in the house i don't have a good chance to be on the computer that often. Now how did I get in this situation? Well i touched up a little bit on it in my last journal post. My brother in law works for a national moving company so 9/10 of his time is out on the road. He got this job over the summer thinking it might be temporary or maybe it was time for the kids ( i also have a 20 year old niece ) to go live with their real mom for a while...yeah bad idea, quick recap on the history there....Their mom was into drugs a lot when they were babies. She was even doing drugs when she had the now 18 year old...so he has some mental problems. One day she passed out...at the time the kids were 4, 2 and a baby. They lived in a apartment building and their father was at work. So the then 4 year old went next door to ask for some food for her and her brothers. The neighbors did the right thing and called social services and the kids were taken away. My sister in law had temporary custody of them. In order to get the kids back my brother in law and the kids mother had to take parenting classes and drug diversion classes. My brother in law went through with it but half way through their mother gave up. She couldn't even shake the habit for her own children! So my brother in law gained custody. For a while he called their mother on birthdays and special occasions to make sure she talked to the kids...but note he had to make the effort...she did not. Then they lost touch with her.

Flash forword to summer 2006. My youngest nephew was on myspace late one night when he got a message from some girl claiming to know his mother. She gave him the phone number and told him how she never stopped loving the kids or talking about them. Even claimed to have tried to find them through the d.a.s office but had no luck. My mother in law checked it out and sure enough it was the kids mom. The mom then talked to my brother in law and they arranged for her, her boyfriend and son to come up here to oregon to see the kids for a week . I knew this was going to be a bad idea when my daughter who had just turned 3 was trying to play with the moms son (who was 9 at the time) and he slapped her.I was really wary about it because not knowing my father growing up I thought it was exciting but with the horrible reaction of her child i knew something wasn't right.

Flash forword to late july. My brother in law just got the job and was originally only planning for the kids to visit there mom until school started...maybe stay there if everything went alright. Well the first night there, they all got in a huge fight...but my brother in law just told them to stick it out as much as they could and if they couldnt handel it . it ended up that their mother was in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend and then he started turning on the kids. The first kid to ask to come home was my oldest nephew...the one with the mental problems. So although our living conditions are streched as is we invited him to stay with us..he had no where else to go anyway. When the mothers boyfriend heard about my nephew omming home he got angry and kicked all of the kids out of the house. My younger nephew went to live with a friend and my niece went to live with her boyfriend. Not only that but my sister in law who was picking up my nephew as she was already passing through the area was getting thretening calls from the boyfriend saying if she tried anything he would beat the crap out of her and her husband.

Well we took a deep breath and they got here safely. And at first it was a bit tough. My nephew got in fights and got in trouble for briniging weapons around the school. I do not tolerate weapons anyway (especially since i am a Alumni of the high school)...and don't even let my daughter play with squirt guns or watch anything really violent. things honestly didn't get much better from there... he hated being at school with out his brother because he was a walking target with out him and then one of his so called friends stole his cell phone and started bullying him and thretening him. It's been pretty difficult on top of that he has been staying up till all hours of the night and then sleeping in past his first period class and skipping other classes. I have tried being stern with him but he is not my son so i don't feel like i can really punish him...the kid is taller then me and a bit unstabble so i don't really want to be on his bad side.As his sometimes his father is not the best either. he still does pot every once in a while and hasn't made much of an attempt to support the boys financially so far. My brother in law is the type that will push you so that you stick up to him and has always tried to get my oldest nephew to toughen up despite his disability.

Well meanwhile back in cali, my youngest nephew moved back in with his mother and her boyfriend. I don't know how it started but one night the boyfriend decided to try to swing on my nephew. Unfortunatly or luckily i am not sure which, my younger nephew is in good shape and has taken after his father in the area of being able to take care of himself and he ended up beating up his moms boyfriend. rather then standing by her son, his mother took her boyfriends side and told brandon he shouldn't have defended himself...so that was the last straw there and christmas eve my youngest nephew moved in with us. Now although my youngest nephew is a pretty strong christian and fairly level headed he still has a very big smart mouth and is his fathers son to a tee...he likes to tease his brother and push him to defend himself. for the first week it was ok because they took turns spending the night at friends houses so i had only one or the other to deal with. But the first night that they were here together it was a nightmear! I jhad come out to the living room to get a diaper for my son to find my oldest nephew trying to leave the house (at 5 am mind you) and my youngest nephew telling me that he was joking around with his brother and his brother finally got deffensive and tried to pull a knife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So here i am standing in my pajamas holding a baby in my arms asking my oldest nephew to stay but give me the knife while his younger brother is telling him to bring it on! Needless to say i woke my husband up and right then and there we all sat down and had a long talk. The air has been tense since then and i warn them every now and then when they start on each other.

My husband isn't home a lot, he works as much as possible so it has to be me to back these 2 6 foot tall boys down and keep them in check. I don't like yelling, i am against violence and would not put it past the boys to try something if i wasn't watching them.I already had to have a stern talking to them about what they say around my daughter...explaining it that if she gets expelled from pre school for calling another kid a F@ g or something to that effect. i know i am in way over my head but i have to try, they have never had a family type living situation with a patriarch and a matriarch that are home on a regualr basis, not to mention some one who is only 9 years older then the oldest one. I have been pretty lieniant, letting them have friends over, letting them go where they want to on the weekends as long as they check in. And have let them know that i am pretty understanding and they can tlak to me about anything at any time. But i would be lying if i said i wasn't at my whits end trying to keep them , my 4 year old and my son all taken care of. i make sure they can play video games or play on the computer so that they aren't bored and well you know what they say about idel hands.

there father has this brilliant (said sarcastically) idea that next month he is going to get a apartment that the boys can live in but that is such a horrible idea! if it wernt for me and their uncle they would be constantly at eachothers throats, wouldn't get to school on time EVER and i doubt they would eat right. SO i have very mixed feelings about this idea. Although having them here has been a burden i don't want to see how they would live with out a parent of some sort being around 24/7....any advice any one? thank you for reading through it all.