What am I doing wrong?

[armywife347]

I don't get babies at all...My daughter is 8 months old and since she started teething she does not eat anything else but the bottle. We actually ran out of formula now so I have to feed her the enfamil sampls we got when she was first born. She always has the GoodStart with dha and ara formula. I know I'm not supposed to switch her formula but I obviously can't let her starve either. I try and try to feed  her the cereal and other stuff she has in there, she doesn't want it. I have 13 boxes of infant cereal, two cases of pears, apples and bananas, sweet potatos, peas and other baby food, she doesn't want it. She also does not drink her juice anymore either. She hasn't pooped in like a week when she used to poop 1 to twice a day before. Before she started teething she ate everything now only the bottle. My mom and mother in law say it is because she is teething. If this is true how long till she starts eating other foods again. I can't be going through formula this way. We get WIC so I can't get her formula till the 14th of this month. That's when her checks kick in. She also whines alot. After she eats I'll burp her and then change her and put her either in her playpen or gym and she will play for 10 minutes and then whine for me to pick her up. She loves when I carry her and walk around the house. Now I can't do this for much longer since I am pregnant again. So how do I break her from this. We can't go out to eat, to the mall, to any store for that matter without her screaming and crying till I pick her up. I have to carry her everwhere. I haven't bought a carrier yet. I'm actually going to do that when my husband gets paid again and see if she will like that. She is stressing be big time and I feel like I have no help here. My husband works during the day and at night he wants to rest and doesn't help me much at all. Even if he tried to help she won't eat for him and she will cry while he holds her until I take her from him. She is way toooo attached to me and it isn't good at all.  What can I do?

[KillerBs]

Jan. 8, 2008 at 4:59 PM Have no fear with the cereal, all I ever hear is that someone is giving away unopened boxes of baby cereal.  Only my oldest actually ate it and only if I mixed some of the baby food with it!  There is not much you can do with an attached baby.  All I can say is don't teach her that if she cries then you fall for it and pick her up.  You'll be carrying her on your hip while doing the laundry when you are nine months along!  Try talking to her while she is sitting on the floor and you are folding laundry.  My son sat in his walker while I was on the computer and every few minutes I would pick up a toy and show him it.  I also talked to him or read him some stuff I was reading on the computer.  He fussed for awhile but got use to it.  If you don't do something than you will have her on one arm and a newborn in the other.  Gotta break the habit.  It doesn't mean that you love her any less if you can't hold her all the time.

[szeimetz]

Jan. 10, 2008 at 2:11 PM

well, like mother and step-mom say...if they're hungry enough they will eat. I had to stop breastfeeding for a week while on an anti biotic and it was hard for my son to go from bottle to breast again. He was very fussy, but he got hungry enough and started to nurse again. He just cut two teeth, and believe me, I feel for you on the teething pains. My son handled it fairly well though. If she doesn't dirty her diaper at least every 3 days if she's on formula you're supposed to do something...sugar water bottles...watered down prune juice...pedialyte mixed with a bit of apple juice....or if all else fails a baby supository....places like walgreens would have them they also have things for constapation that you can give her until she gets regular. Keep trying the baby food and cereal...my son will only eat his cereal if it's mixed with apple juice. But be careful if she's constipated apple juice and rice cereal plug them up. Orange foods loosen baby bowels so try carrots or sweet potatoes.....

My son is very attached too...my husband is deployed and I'm the only person he has. What I've done so I don't have to carry him around all the time is put him down and let him cry....that's the only way he'll learn to be more independet. I also have a walker for him and put him in there and talk to him and push him around...activities that you don't have to HOLD him/her. Also...if your child hasn't met milestones...like rolling, crawling or pulling up studies show it's benificial for tummy time...even if they complain at first they'll get used to it. We have toys all over the floor and bright colored books for him to look at while he's laying.

Good luck with it all!

[Mom401]

Jan. 21, 2008 at 12:33 AM

Hello,

You are doing exactly the right thing in picking her up...she is not feeling well and it is her only way of letting you know she needs help.  Babies are too little to be "spoiled"...they do not have an "agenda" of manipulation.  They are helpless and cannot do anything to make themselves feel better when in need of something physical...they are very sincere when they cry.  However, you are reaching the point of exhaustion plus you have #2 baby to nurture (by getting your rest) and I would recommend you try some of the below ideas first, then take her to a good family doctor to see if he can sort it out.  It sounds like she has several things happening and that it is getting all mixed up.  I remember the feeling of being overwhelmed.  Be encouraged--as you unravel it piece by piece, you will find relief.

MOTHER'S CHECKLISTS:

MEDICAL QUESTIONS & OBSERVATIONS:

TEETHING OPTIONS:

First, they say that teething is painful because it is the first time sharp teeth are breaking through tender tissues in the gums.  They are swollen and inflamed...she may have a fever.  Do you have an ear thermometer?  Take her temp and see just how high it is.  Record and date it on a chart.  Start monitoring her symptoms and what treatment you try and her response.  Can she take St. Joseph Baby Aspirin?  One of the safest ones, I think.  If you REDUCE her fever, she might feel a lot more interested in eating.  Fever makes us all restless and we lose appetite. 

Did she just have an IMMUNIZATION recently?  HUGE issue for more fever and more discomfort...bodies hurt inside as those serums try to create the actual disease so they can build antibodies.  A lousy time for a baby to be teething at the same time.  Double misery.  Try and picture how you would feel if you had the disease symptoms...you would not feel like eating, either, right? 

OBSERVE PATTERNS & CAUSE and EFFECT:  Mark on the same fever chart when she had her immunization and don't take her for another shot until she has stopped teething. 

ALSO, check with the National Vaccine Information Center...they have amazing resources so you can tell if your child is "high risk"....she may NOT be doing well on her immunizations, thus no appetite.  You don't want to keep putting her at risk....NVIC can help you.  They saved our son's life...he was highly allergic to all immunizations, antibiotics and anesthetics as a baby and kid.  Alternative medicine is what helped us prevent things.  Homeopathic, specifically.  Liquid drops under the tongue.  Sub-lingual, easy to take.  Find a homeopathic M.D. or D.O. (Doctor of Osteopathy...they are M.D.s with that specialty) because they analyze this type of issue much more thoroughly and have options to suggest.

IMMEDIATE RELIEF FOR TEETHING:

a.  She needs something cool to suck on...ice cold washcloth, changed often?  If YOU hold it, you could put an ice cube inside...let her gnaw on the tied-around-it-washcloth--the ice cube will melt and provide continual iced effect to help her swollen gum tissues go down.  Swollen tissues put PRESSURE on nerve endings...that is why it is painful. 

b.  Pacifier kept chilled and changed/washed often and rinsed much.  TEETHING RINGS that you alternate and keep in the Freezer.  This whole issue of teething caught me off guard and I had nothing...my kid nursed me much longer to find relief.  Something about the "sucking" soothes them, so that is why your little girl is probably asking for so many formula bottles in lieu of anything else to provide relief.

c.  Frozen Popsicle but WATCH her before she gets to the wooden stick and take it away.  Better yet...do you have a toddler plastic popsicle kit that might be safer with no small parts that come apart that she could choke on?  Cold applesauce.  Cold apple juice?  You might have to thin it with purified water that is also chilled.  Ask someone to go buy these items for you or ask if someone can loan you theirs....wash it super well, espec. if their baby was sick a lot.  I use Shaklee Germicide, then rinse, rinse, rinse.

Using ice cold teething rings or such items are something she can use to comfort herself, otherwise she might only know "comfort" by being held nonstop.  When you set her down, the pain is still there and her only comfort has moved away, thus the crying and begging for assistance again. 

 d.  UTENSILS?  As far as her not eating, is the baby spoon going into her mouth hitting or bumping the tender gums?  How many teeth are coming in at the same time?  If the spoon is a discomfort, she will shy away from it. 

NOTE:   If this has been going on longer than baby books say it should take for a tooth to come in and if another tooth is not coming in right after this one, do consider having a compassionate, family doctor who works with babies...check HOW her tooth or teeth are coming in.  Is there a problem that is causing her more pain?  Are they coming in sideways?  She is probably okay but it is something to consider.  Doctors have special GELS or LIQUID MEDICINE that you can put on the sore tooth area to NUMB it and provide relief.

ANOTHER REASON for NOT EATING:

She has to be hungry...thus nothing satisfies her long enough to play by herself when you set her down...although if the teething is making her feel that sick, then she might not want to eat for a while because it hurts to "chew" food.  Kind of like how you feel when you come home from the dentist.  Tissues are swollen and tender and you don't want to do anything except have soothing relief and someone to comfort you. 

If liquid food is what she needs while her gums are so painful, then you can add pureed foods that have more nutrition to her bottle.  Like carrot juice.  Talk to someone in Shaklee who can find out how to give their Meal Shakles or other powdered nutrient products to a baby.  Those will fill her up more so she is not so hungry yet keep her gums soothed at the same time. 

What was not clear to me is whether you tried solid food with her?  Try something new like mashed potatoes with milk and butter (unless she is lactose intolerant...if so, certain foods will hurt her stomach or cause breathing problems, with too much mucous building in the airways.) A baked sweet potato is even more soothing...be sure to cool it down so it does not burn her mouth.  It scoops out easily and you can mash it with a spoon, then try giving her some.  Babies need foods thinned with a little milk or maybe some flavored yogurt or with applesauce.

OTHER MEDICAL QUESTIONS:

Is something making her stomach feel queasy or hurt when she eats?  Food she may be allergic to?  Is she able to sit all the way up, so she can digest food better?  Is her baby seat or toddler seat in a quiet setting with choices in front of her?  Are dishes with her food in it and utensils really clean? 

Take a taste yourself...do any of the baby foods taste "off" to you?

 Is smoking going on in the home that is suppressing her appetite? 

Is she cold?  (Being a Mom is a constant "checklist run through"; it is so easy to miss something while we ourselves are fatigued.)

Also, how long has it been since she last ate?  Every 3 hours except when she is ill and might need more frequent liquid meals like she has been doing.  It is tiring but you might be doing nursing care right now...which always requires more one-on-one attention. 

If a baby feels tense, food may be causing gas or some other discomfort, so they will naturally shy away from it.  Have you tried relaxing music during her mealtimes?  Set the tone for a peaceful meal.  Was she a colicky baby after birth?

PSYCHOLOGY  CHECKLIST

You have to consider her personality. If she is quick to cry or get frightened, then you have a little Melancholy on your hands and you need to speak in a soft voice, keep things quieter, give tons more love and comfort and never push them into new things quickly...it really frightens them and sets them back if you start building fear into their lives.  Get them used to new foods, etc. little by little.  Smile on your face so they don't associate "new things" with Mother getting tense.  (smile)

They get distracted very easily and there might be something else going on in the home that is pulling her attention away from food.  My kid would never eat if someone else was visiting...he was fascinated with what they were doing, instead. 

However, if she is a choleric, a leader type, wanting to do things "by self" much more than other kids...she may have already decided that she is DONE with baby food and wants more grown-up softer food.  I tend to think your current situation is more teething plus immunization discomfort, though. 

Mix a little beef gravy into her mashed potatoes for variety....you can just boil a plain potato and mash it, also...does not have to be a big mashed potatoes with milk recipe.  Add a diced, mashed hardboiled egg to the mashed potatoes.  Yummy!

Try the mashed baked sweet potato idea, mentioned above...that is soothing to the stomach, also, in case she is having a stomach issue.  Real carrots, mashed with some butter. 

She might just be hungry for new flavors and more texture in food?  I hate to admit it but I was giving my kid a piece of my fast-food hamburger (B-King) before he was one year old.  That is a bit too "solid" of a food but he was so ready for something more exciting than baby food and I did not have the energy to puree everything like I had hoped.  Good health stores have great books about how to do that to save money by not buying baby food.  I never thought of the above easier suggestions that are more suitable to babies' developing digestive systems.

 God's grace to you, Momma...don't give up.  One of the fun parts of being a Mother is when you get faster at going down these "checklists" so you can figure out what is causing what and which options you have to get the situation calmed down again.  Your daughter will be so grateful...she is pulling for you to figure it out or get good doctors to help analyze it with you!  YOU are her best Advocate.

FOR YOU:  in the meantime, SLEEP whenever she sleeps...you have to do that...you cannot run and do housework while she naps, not during this time.  Make it "fun" for your husband to hold her while you do errands at night -- reward him later with a food treat he likes?  Or ask him to pick a task you need done from a list.  What is his strength?  Is he better at doing the bills or errands?  Figure out what he can do to lift your burden...tailor it to him.  If men see us complaining every time they do something, not quite "right," they soon give up offering.  Help them feel needed. 

You can do it!  "Slow and easy wins the race."  "Patience makes perfect."  Smile.  My favorite Bible verse when pressed to the mat:  "And this too shall pass!"