Ok...so I am a stay at home mom.  Other than one year that I worked when my oldest was 2-3 I have been a stay at home mom for 7.5 years.  I have much guilt over this every day.  My husband does NOT make me feel that way but I do.   I just do.   Since I met my husband he's very much been into playing poker.   IT's not out of control as far as money goes.  IT's his hobby and has been ever since I met him.  Over the past year or so he's been playing more and more.  Still ok.  We've always had an understanding ,...Oh wait...let me abacktrack a bit... without going into full detail...in a nutshell,...I am very nervous and paranoid to stay at home alone at night.   I always have been.  I've never lived alone and never had to be alone at night.  When I met my husband, I had a roomate.   After living with my roommate I moved in with him and then we got married.   before kids we went and did everything together so I was never alone.   After kids...things changed a bit.   kids grew up and started school and I could no longer go out with him all the time.  so this brings me back to today.   we had a few issues with his going out to play cards. It was hard for both of us because I did not like to be home at night bymyself and that is when the boys always played cards.   I start to get nervous and ancy around 10:30 and definatly after midnight.   sometimes it's not so bad and the time passes quickly and sometimes I am just a nervous wreck..  we've had a few arguments over the subject.  He feels like a kid with a curfew not a 34 year old married man.  I feel guilty for asking him to come home early when everyone else is staying out later.  so my question is... is it ok to ask my husband to not stay out so late?

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dddd2776
Jan. 10, 2008 at 1:34 AM Why don't you go out one night by yourself and leave him there with the kids.  It might do you some good.  Or find a friend to go with.  I will go out by myself every now and then when I have a babysitter.  My SO works offshore for 2 weeks at a time.  I'm a SAHM too.  I need a little break for my own sanity...lol.

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mimi444
Jan. 10, 2008 at 1:38 AM oh well I do.  I scrapbook and once a week I get together with the girls.   My issue isn't him going out and me not having a chance too, it's mainly the LATE nights and days.  This past friday he played till 1 am and then sunday was gone the entire day and came home at 1 am.  That is because he is hosting the tournaments at a friends house and has to stay and clean up.

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ilovm...
Jan. 10, 2008 at 1:42 AM i think that regardless if you don't work you shouldn't feel guilty cause you don't work.how late does he stay out ?

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Irish...
Jan. 10, 2008 at 1:44 AM I agree with dddd2276 you should go out once in a while by yourself or with friends. But YES I think you should be able to talk to your husband about his late nights out.  Tell him you don't mind him going out once in a while but that it is a little nuts to be out all the time with his buddies. Are they married as well? That may be part of the problem.

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mimi444
Jan. 10, 2008 at 1:46 AM For anyone else it may not seem so late but to me it is.   On average he'll stay out until one.  sometimes later.   What sucks is that I wake up at 7 in the morning to get my son ready for school and I can't go to sleep until he comes home.  I just can't.  I have tried and tried and i am too jumpy and it makes me even more nervous because I'll hear a tiny sound and get scared.  It's hard to explain the fear I have.  My husband does not understand it at all.  that's for sure.  However he did know I was like this before we got married.   It just never really affected us until I couldn't go out and stay out late with him anymore. (after kids)

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mimi444
Jan. 10, 2008 at 1:48 AM Some are some aren't.  He goes to different homes in and around our area to play.  I've been with him several times before.  I do like to play with him.  but it's just not possible on school nights because we have no one available to watch our boys so late.   everyone works.  I've been with him on friday nights occasionally.  we DO have fun together.   but it's the late nights of me home alone is where I have the problem.  but at the same time very guilty to ask him to stay home.

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