You Get To Decide

[picketfencesmom]

You Get to Decide

I look at Step 1 as the pivotal step toward healing. God graciously gives each of us free will and while we would agree that the proceedings of a divorce becomes chaotic at times, we do have choices! Will you decide to continue to be a victim of divorce or a survivor?

A year ago, Picket fences ran the following poll:

It seems that most of our members are the ones who have been wronged in their marriages. Being totally truthful and anonymous, what percentage did you play in the breakup of your marriage?

I contributed 0% to the stress of the marriage. I was 100% innocent.
I contributed 50% or more to the stress of the marriage
I contributed 50% or less

78 % of the divorced ladies took ownership of their part in the marriage while 22% said they were 100% innocent. That indicated to me, there was some major denial going on within that 22%. Denial sets yourself up to be a victim. We have to look at our part or else we are forever victims. No Thank you!

All Have Sinned and Fall Short of the Glory of God

Romans 3:23

At this entry I won't go into the possible breakdowns in the marriage. I'll save that for a later date. However, when you lie to yourself, deny any responsibility, you give yourself a licence to be victimized. Is this really what you want for your life?

People survive when they choose to. They survive disease, disasters and death. YOU can survive divorce when you decide to take that first step...

I remember back when I was feeling the victim. All I choose to do was sleep. When the day became overwhelming, I'd excuse myself to take a nap. I'm sure to some degree I needed the rest. Stress is tiring however at some point I needed to make the choice not to be a sleepy victim. I needed to "stay awake" and meet my future, with my eyes wide open. I had to decide to take action and own my own recovery from my divorce.

You will survive this when you choose to.

Tags: divorce recovery

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