What the hell is an I.E.P?

[mgagliano]

For my main blog go here

Well fact is I happen to know what it is. It is a term used in Early Intervention Services for an Individual Education Plan. My Handsome has been in Early Intervention Services for almost 3 years now. It started with speech in 2005.

I have spoken very little about my son’s early education (here is a little background on why the whole process was started in the first place) on my blog because the whole process is such a bore and truly mostly unnecessary. While I agree that early intervention is very important, I think that most professionals fail to consider personal life experiences and base everything on a few charts written up by other professionals.

Today, while sitting in yet another I.E.P meeting with a bunch of people as we decided on how to proceed with my son’s services, I was reminded of my first impression of these people.

I walked into the meeting armed with an envelope of pictures of my son. I was ready to roll up my sleeves and beat the shit out of anyone who said anything I considered negative or personal. This was my son, a 2 year old baby who just welcomed a new sister into his life and these people, these strangers were going to tell me how I should handle him and his speech delay based on calculations they come up with from interviewing him. Interviewing my 23 month old!

I threw the envelope on the table as I wheeled my sleeping newborn in her carriage into the meeting. “This is the boy you are about to discuss. I know he is only a name on all that paperwork. Here is is.” They were excited to look through the pictures and said that they wished more people came in with them. I softened a bit and waited to hear what they had to say. I agreed with only about 25% of their findings and felt that a lot of things were taken out of context. I had sat down the night before and gone over all the paperwork and there was a lot of it. Every therapist who sat with him for 10-20 minutes had a report of about 10-18 pages long. I had made notes in the margin and highlighted things that I wanted to address. Things that were incorrect, taken out of context or had changed since the interviews.

The group decided on speech therapy, occupational therapy and special instruction. I thought and still think that everything else is totally unnecessary and tell every new therapist that starts exactly that.

The meeting today was nothing like that first meeting. Because I am in their face and make myself available, say hello when I am in the building they know me, my daughter and my son by face and name. The meeting which included my two kids today (who were awesome by the way) went really well.

I think this post is long enough so I will stop here for now. Tomorrow I will write more about why the meeting was called today and the decision I have to make. Until then I wanted to leave this message for my son.

Baby Boy, everything I do is for you. I want you to always know how proud I am of you and how far you have come. I have recently watched some video of you from a year ago and I am floored with your advancements. You are incredibly smart, very interested in learning, love writing, recently your newest addiction is Xbox. You play for 1.5 - 2 hours as a reward for doing well in school. You beg to play it daily but the 3 school days are enough for now. I put you on a timer and you know when it rings your time is up and shut it off. The therapists and every professional in that meeting were extremely impressed with how intelligent you are. You are a little shy at times but occasionally you are very much the social butterfly wanting everyone to talk to you. You are a big help to me with your sister and I love how you play the big brother role for her. Helping her with her shoes, coat, turning on lights or setting up a game for her. You love reading books, pretend playing and reading along to tapes. Your sensitivity surprises me sometimes. You don’t like me to be angry with you and cry when you feel I am mad.

I love you with every beat of my heart. You are my heart on legs and I can’t wait to see what you do next.

Love Mommy

[Regina0811]

Jan. 20, 2008 at 9:12 PM Sounds like you have it all under control.  Sometimes you have to stand up and shout for some people to hear you.   Best of luck to you and your family.  I hope you will except my prayers and have a great and happy life. 

[Jenks]

Jan. 20, 2008 at 9:18 PM So I just had my first meeting with all "those ppl" for my son, he'll start school in April.  I did read your main blog....good luck I hope they do extend her hours.

[ohwrite]

Jan. 20, 2008 at 9:20 PM

I understand exactly how you feel. My middle son, had numerous IEP's. I didn't agree with alot of what the 'experts' recommended, and often made different choices than they expected. I watched my son deal with a lot of hurt and pain, and often wanted to be more like him as he worked to overcome his challenges. I worked right alongside him. Today he is an 18 year old college student. He was an honor roll student in school, and is an accomplished musician. I can't tell you how proud I am of him, and I am still in his corner fighting for him when he needs me, although he's a pretty impressive fighter on his own.

I can hear your love for your children, and the fact that you will fight for whatever your believe is right for your son. That's what mother's do. Your children are very lucky. Hug them both, I'm going to go hug my boys that are still here at home.

[p2of9]

Jan. 20, 2008 at 9:22 PM

You sound like me!  I went through all the IEP, Birth-to-3 program, speech therapies, etc.  It all ended when some pompous ass called my son "retarded" to my face.  We home school now--no more labels for MY kid!  He's almost 6 now, and doing great.  AND he can talk!

What got me about all that paperwork was the condescending little quotations, like "Mom says..." or "Mom thinks...", as if they know my child better than I do, after a few evaluations!

Your son is lucky to have a great advocate for a mother!

[Brooke22]

Jan. 20, 2008 at 9:26 PM

I have been a special education teacher for 7 years and now I am a mother of a child who is in Early Intervention.  I cannot speak for every spec. ed. teacher out there, but I am (and my collegues) very passionate about what I do.  I consider each child (the whole child) when I write those I.E.P.s.  When the teacher comes to the staffing with an I.E.P. its only a proposed document.  You have the right to modify it in anyway you see fit.

 My advice, stay involed and know your rights.  You can attend future meeting with an advocate.  Also, ask your district how they are adopting the Response to Intervention Model in their schools.  This model works with problem solving before diagnosing and labeling your child.  Basically, they try a variety of interventions, starting with the least restictive.  Its better than the traditional model where they give your child a bunch of tests and label him if he doesn't perform up to par.

 However, my son has started EI services and I know how hard it is to hear some of those things that they say about your baby.  My husband went ballistic when I gave him their report.  I didn't agree with everything they said.  That's my right.  I can refuse services.  But I can also put my teacher hat on and say that they do what they do because they want to help kids.

Good Luck with your little guy!   Brooke

[daisyb]

Jan. 20, 2008 at 9:45 PM

   I can tell you have Done every bit of your Homework and How Much you Love your Little Boy! I started having IEP meetings when my son started 2nd grade, He graduated High School in 06'! I remember that first meeting SO well- I was scared to Death & Left thinking to myself, What were they even talking about? Besides, your son has some very serious Learning Disabilities. I then had him tested privately, Had the Dr. explain his issues in English! So, I could understand & then I went to the Governer's Adcovacy Department and told them I didn't understand a thing they were talking about in my son's IEP meeting and I needed Help. I will never forget the lady that helped me, IDA- She spent So much time explaining & the most important thing she did was give me a different kind of Parent's Right HandBook. It was in step by step with All the Key Words you need to know in the meetings, So the team Knows you know what you are talking about- I studied that book from front to back, I took notes about Everything. The same thing happened to me as it did with you in his second meeting- It went well! I never had any problems with a IEP meeting after that because I was always One Step Ahead- We were talking about my Son's Future and I did everything in my power to make sure All of his needs were met.

Your Son is So Very Lucky to have you for his Mom, So many parents do not want to deal with these meetings, I think mostly because they just don't understand. My proudest Moment was when my son handed me his  diploma and said- "We Did It Mom!" I bet anything that will be yours too! Best of Luck- Take Care

[mgagliano]

Jan. 22, 2008 at 1:05 PM

Regina, Thank you so much for reading and for the prayers. I sometimes feel like I am out of control but honestly know that I am doing the right thing and I remain vigilant in my fight to make sure he gets the best services available in our area.

Jenks, Thank you for reading the main blog but it looks like I may not even need it. So much support over this way. Good luck to you.

Ohwrite, Thank you for your words. I am thrilled to hear how awesome your son is doing. I appreciate your story so much. 

P2of9, Wow, you hit the nail on the head. Most of them are pompus. Thankfully there are some loving, caring people in my court right now. I am all for homeschooling and think about it every once in a while. Hugs to you.

Brooke, Thanks for reading. You are right. Staying involved and disagreeing is mostly how I spend my time but there have been so many times that I do agree with things and when we all work on the same page for the good of my son I know that this was the right decision. When he started talking I had tons of well meaning family and friends telling me that he is main stream now and that I should remove him from these services. I have kept him in and plan to do so until the school refuses to continue. While I disagree with a lot, I know that these services are not hurting him in any way.

Daisy, Thank you so much. Your words brought tears to my eyes. I can only hope that my son is half the man your son becomes. What a loving gesture from a son to a mother.  

 

 

(Original Poster)