Too funny...Murphy's Law for Militiary.

[reneediaz]

These are too funny.  A friend posted these in a group.  The first part are what the men think and the second is what we wives think.  Hope you get a laugh out of it.

 

1.  If you are training, it’s raining.  If it’s raining then your Washing machine is broken, and the laundry mat only has one working machine.  You will spend 3 hours scrubbing mud from the carpet that you just had steam-cleaned right before he came home from the field.
2. If you have a success, no one is watching, if you fail, the General is watching.  If you have a success, only the dog is watching, if you fail then the whole family taunts you for days.
3. If it stupid and it works then it’s not stupid.  If it’s stupid your husband probably though it of.
4. You’re NOT superman, all soldiers take note.  You ARE superwoman, all wives take note.
5. A sucking chest wound is nature’s way of telling you so slow down.  A flu is natures way of telling you that you still have more work to do.
6. If at first you don’t succeed, call in for an Air strike.  If at first you don’t succeed then tell your husband to go back to the field and you’ll fix it yourself.
7. Suppressive fire, won’t.  Child-proofers, don’t.
8. Try NOT to look important, the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.  Try NOT to look busy or the husband and kids will all need you all at once.
9. Always remember that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.  Always remember that your appliances were bought at the PX.
10. If your attack is going really well, then it’s an ambush.  If you are ahead of schedule, then you are forgetting something.
11. The important things are always simple; the simple things are always hard.  The important things will always be forgotten, the forgotten things are always something that your husband needed for the next morning.
12. The easy way is always mined.  The quickest route is always closed for PT or Retreat.
13. If the enemy is within range, so are you.  If you can see the village Mayor from your yard, he can see you standing there in your bathrobe yelling at the dog to get back inside the fence.
14. Radios will fail as soon as you need to call in Air Support.  Your Cell phone battery will die as soon as you need to call your husband to pick up one of the kids from school.
15. The Cavalry doesn’t always come to the rescue.  You always come to the rescue.
16. Make it impossible for the enemy to get in, and you won’t be able to get out.  Turn off your cell phone to avoid telemarketers and you will miss a call from your kid’s school nurse.
17. The worse the weather, the more you have to be out in it.  The worse the weather, the more you have to be out in it.
18. The one item you need is always in short supply.  The one item you need has been on back order at the PX for 6 months.
19. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, and never stay awake when you can sleep.  Never sleep, or the kids will mess up the house.
20. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than you are.  Marry the man that drives you crazy.