After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton
            insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to
            Target. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most
            men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in
            and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was
            like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs.
            Fenton received the following letter from her local
            Target.

            Dear Mrs. Fenton,

            Over the past six months, your husband has been
            causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
            tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both
            of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
            Fenton are listed below and are documented by our
            video surveillance
            cameras.

             1.  June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly
            put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

             2.  July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares
            to go off at 5-minute intervals.

             3.  July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
            leading to the women's restroom.

             4.  July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
            an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it
            right away.'

             5.  August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to
            put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

             6.  September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign
            to a carpeted area.

             7.  September 15: Set up a tent in the camping
            department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in
            if they would bring pillows and blankets from the
            bedding department.

             8.  September 23: When a clerk asked if they could
            help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you
            people ju st leave me alone?'

             9.  October 4: Looked right into the security camera
            and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

            10.  November 10: While handling guns in the hunting
            department, he asked the clerk where the
            antidepressants were.

            11.  December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
            while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

            12.  December 6: In the auto department, he practiced
            his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of
            funnels.

            13.  December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
            people browsed through, yelled ' PICK ME! PICK ME!'

            14.  December 21: When an announcement came over the
            loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed
            'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And  last, but not
            least ...

            15.  December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
            door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey!
            There's no toilet paper i n here!'

            Regards,
            Target

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Comments:

seasn...
Feb. 1, 2008 at 1:23 AM lol. so funny.

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