After her Pet scan yesterday it looks like it is stage 3, which is really tough to fight.  My mother in law will fight, she is that type of person, but she is a pragmatist also, looking at the reality of the situation.  Worse case, about 9 months. 

So, I'm taking my girls early next week to get outfits and getting new pictures taken.  She needs a great picture of them by her side.  They are her only grandkids, and they are girls.  She had three sons and was so excited to have granddaughters to spoil and treat like girls!!  She couldn't wait to see our oldest grow up. Next winter she was planning a trip for she and my oldest daughter (she would be 6 then) into NYC (she lives in New Jersey) and couldn't wait to keep her for a week this summer to have tea parties and take walks.  She was disappointed, I could tell, with my younger daughter, who has Down Syndrome, but never let on out loud.  She took Katy in stride and learned about her condition.  Katy is now 3 and grandma loves her for her wonderful spirit and sunny personality. 

I have to stop now, I'm crying.

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Feb. 1, 2008 at 9:19 AM

I know this is a very difficult time right now.... I lost my mom in 1998 to pancreatic cancer..My oldest was 2...    My best advice is to use a video camera to tape the moments your daughters have with your MIL... We have a tape of my mom at my daughters birthday party and my daughter watched it all the time....We talk about grandma and my oldest(12 yrs old) even remembers grandma ....     Even though grandma is not here in person she is very much still apart of our lives......

And who knows if she fights and takes the chemo she may survive... I did 3 yrs cancer free now......    

And for your MIL the best thing you can do for her is to put a smile on her face every chance you get.....

I will keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers... 

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Feb. 12, 2008 at 5:47 PM

We just went through this with a VERY close friend of mine.  She was like a mother to me.  Her cancer came back last January 2007 and they gave her 6 months.  She made it to the very end of 6 months. 

While we were going through all of this with Joyce my mother died suddenly in June.  Four weeks later I gave birth to my precious little Bella who has down syndrome.  We did not know until she was born that she had it and she has 3 holes in her heart.  Bella was in a Children's Hospital for two weeks after she was born and on the way home, we took her to see my friend, Joyce.  Joyce had been moved to a hospice care center a week earlier as she took a very quick turn.  By the time I was able to bring Bella by, Joyce no longer was able to stay awake.  I laid Bella in her arms anyway and let her know she was holding my sweet little girl.  Joyce had SO looked forward to meeting Bella.  Atfter my mom passed away, Joyce felt an urgency to stay "here" until she could see and hold Bella.  She wanted to be prepared to tell my mom all about her when they met again in heaven.  

As I left the hospice room, Bella gave a bit of a short cry and then a couple minutes later, my best friend (Joyce's DIL) ran out and said, "Joyce heard Bella and woke up!!  We told her Bella was here and that she got to hold her then she gave a crooked smile and went back to sleep".  

My heart was happy, sad, over-joyed and grieved all at the same time.  I still cry when I think about it.  

I will pray that you and your family are blessed with such precious memories and I will pray that your MIL is able to be alert and aware until the very end.  Yes, video everything!!  Have her give special messages to your girls for later... embrace every moment.  

When you walk this path it may seem at times that it will never end... and it's so heavy and hard.  But when it's over, you will look back and see it was just a quick snap of time.  Pour everything you can into these moments.   

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