Good friends....

Are there before you even know you need them (because they knew)....
Know what you look like without makeup....
Know what's going on in your life because they  ask...
Try to cheer you up when you are down...
Do things they don't necessarily like because they love you...
FIND time to keep in touch...
Let you know they are thinking about you...
Don't go after your man...
Give more than they take...

 

Lately,

I'm having this really strange need to classify some of the relationships in my life.  Are they REALLY my friends?  Are we just more than acquaintances but less than friends...what would you call that?  When I make "friends," I tend to give it my all.  I enjoy my relationships with others...but I'm tired of always giving and it being totally one sided.  I have a lot of "friends," but only a few would I call in the middle of the night.  So, are those other people my "friends"?  They def. aren't enemies...but can I say they are my friends?  Because, to me...friends mean trust.  Friends mean being there.  Friends mean communication.

I think for 2008 I'm going to clean my friends list up.  This isn't one of those "respond to this or I'll delete you from my cafemom, facebook, myspace".  This is just me wanting to focus my energy on the people that are actually truly my friends...the people that make an effort.

I love doing things for others....but in friendships, it shouldn't always be a one-sided street.  Ashley is NOT the only one with a car....or email...or a phone.  Because giving in a one-sided manner, expecting nothing back...that's simply charity.  

And, if you are reading this...and consider me a friend...stop an think.  Do I know what's going on in her life...REALLY know?  Beyond the "yeh things are great"?  Unless you catch me having a really off day, chances are it will take a REAL conversation for me to let you in...not a passing "hi, how are you" and the standard, "Hey!  I'm fine, you?" response.

So, now you know my intentions...for 2008, one of my "resolutions" or focuses for change in my life is friendships.  If that means I have to have fewer but better...then so be it. 

I want great things in my life...not to call people friends that don't have time with me and no longer truly know me anymore...

 

 

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Comments:

sacre...
Feb. 1, 2008 at 10:11 AM you know I have had a certain inner dialogue with myself about friends lately too. Not in the sense of give and take..because in many cases my friends (not cm) but long time friends here in CO there is none of either. We really don't hang out much anymore. So many of my friends are couple friends and we do things very occasionnally as couples. My other friends are mom friends and we do things with the kids. I have lots of friends, but no one that is very like minded and likes to do girly things together. I don't have a local confidante (although lots here on CM). I am craving a female friend who likes to hang out and do things I like to do. I went so far as to put a "personal ad" on one of the local boards heres. But I know what you mean and I am very interested in your day to day life and how you are doing.

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snapd...
Feb. 1, 2008 at 1:31 PM

This year I realized that I don't want relationships that are high maintenance. I worked with a girl who I thought was one of my best friends. I went on maternity leave and ended up having to give my job to someone else because i have since cut my hours back. This girl is now really close to the person who took my position.  She doesn't make any effort to be my friend anymore.I realize now that I was a friend of convienence.  Its convienent to be close to the person you work next to everyday, but not convienient to keep in touch with the friends you have. I decided a while ago to keep only the people in my life who truely care about me.

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