"No matter what goes right,

                             No matter what goes wrong,

                  God is in Control.....

                              .....And one day

             -maybe not today or even next week-

                        I'll see things His way.

                         So I might as well just

                      throw back my head.....


            And laugh!

                               -Phil Callaway

I found this quote in a book I am reading right now, "Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in a Marriage" by Lee & Leslie Strobel.

I find it odd that everything, even the sermons in church, are trying to teach me:  JOY!!!

It's like my life sometimes does not make sense and I am on this emotional rollercoaster and I don't know which way is up.

And for the first time, I am trying not to worry, but to listen to God's peace and know that he is in control, and soon it will all make sense.  It's probably one of the hardest things I have ever tried to do.  I am very used to figuring it out on my own and worrying myself, literally, sick about things.  This past month has tried my every emotion.  And, I tried to take control once, and it proved a disaster to all who love me, because taking control of my own life, puts me and everyone else on that same rollercoaster.  So, I give it up to God and I try to find Joy in everything that is going wrong.  And I pray.

And, it's working!!!!  I am starting to look positively at the things that are not going right in my life.  I don't know if it's the Cymbalta is starting to kick in or what, but it's working!

And, I am finding a new outlook on life, like maybe it's not so bad.  Maybe it's not bad that my marriage has glitches, maybe it's not bad that my dog lost his leg and is now handicapped, maybe it's not so bad that I am working alot to make ends meet.  Because, He is not gonna let me fall.  And, guess what? Exactly one week ago, my dog had surgery and took all the money we had and I had no idea how I was going to come up with rent $800!  And, now just one week later, I only have $200 left to go and I was able to pick up an extra shift, plus the server paid me $20 to pick it up.  And, there's even some money to buy a little bit of food for the house and gas for my car!  How the heck did that happen?  There's no way I made that kind of money this week!  I'll tell you how that happened - I actually let God worry about it and I just worked and spent time with my family and tried to be more joyful!

That's it.  JOY......

I read, somewhere "there's a big difference between happiness, which is dependent on what's happening in your world, and joy, which depends on Jesus' presence in your life."

Joy does not overlook our circumstances, it overoverrides them.

How true!  I only wish that my hubby felt the joy that is happening around us.  He thinks that it is by pure chance we are paying our bills, I know that it is because I am letting God handle it, he's better at that stuff than we are!

This book also teaches me how I can still have a Christian marriage when it is a spiritually mismatched marriage.  By being a Godly woman.  By loving my husband.  And, by staying close to God and His ways.

So, I will.  I will love my husband.  And, I will do what God expects a wife to do.  And, I will respect my husband.  And, I will find joy in doing so, because I am closer to God, and He wants my marriage to work out.  And, it actually makes me happier to be this way!

And, I will not listen to the ridicule that will come my way, when I still treat my husband as the head of our marriage.  And, it will be okay.  And, if I loose friends or respect over it.  I will be okay with it.  Because, I am now finding out what it takes to be a wife and what it takes to make a marriage work.  And, I want it to work, because I love my husband and I love God and they both want it to work.

So, I find joy that I am able to wake up every morning with my kids.  I find joy that my husband and I are still piecing our marriage together, even though almost everyone says "why are you trying?"  I find joy that we now have a handicapped dog in our family, because there is so much to learn from animals.  And, I find joy in where I am right now, because I have never understood God as much as I understand Him today!

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Feb. 6, 2008 at 11:13 AM


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