BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN
1st baby:
You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby:
Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
_____________________________________________________

Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby:
You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby:
You don't bother because you remember that last
time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby
: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
______________________________________________________

The Layette
:
1st baby:
You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby:
You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby:
Boys can wear pink, can't they?
______________________________________________________

Worries:
1st baby:
At the first sign of distress--a whimper,
a frown--you pick up the baby
2nd baby:
You pick the baby up when her wails threaten
to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby:
You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
______________________________________________________

Pacifier:
1st baby:
If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby:
When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it
off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby:
You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
______________________________________________________

Diapering:
1st baby:
You change your baby's diapers every hour,
whether they need it or not.
2nd baby:
You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby:
You try to change their diaper before others start to
complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

_______________________________________________________
Activities:
1st baby:
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,
Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby:
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby:
You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.
_____________________________________________ _________

Going Out:
1st baby:
The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
you call home five times.
2nd baby:
Just before you walk out the door, you remember to
leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby:
You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
______________________________________________________

At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby:
You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby:
You spend a little bit of every day hiding from
the children
______________________________________________________

Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child:
When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays
2nd child:
When second child swallows a coin, you carefully
watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child:
When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
______________________________________________________
Pictures:
1st child: With the first child we take pictures everyday, with practically every move they make
2nd child: With the second child we take pictures on special occasions 
3rd child:
Well, at least we have the school pictures!

Add A Comment

Comments:

TakeM...
Feb. 1, 2008 at 11:05 AM ok this is hilarious and couldnt be more true! haha i might have to steal it too :P

Message Friend Invite

Maria...
Feb. 1, 2008 at 11:31 AM So funny and true!!!!

Message Friend Invite

patli...
Feb. 7, 2008 at 3:23 PM This is great!  I have 3 children so I know it's true!

Message Friend Invite

MamaC...
Feb. 13, 2008 at 5:10 PM Hey you were watching me weren't you, how else did you know what I was doing?

Message Friend Invite

mom_dl6
Apr. 1, 2008 at 8:41 PM MAN THAT IS SO TRUE IT'S SCAREY LOL:)

Message Friend Invite

morni...
Apr. 4, 2008 at 9:55 AM Awwww, that's so funny and so true!!!  My son was asking me the other day where his baby pictures are(he's the third child)  I said, "they're around here somewhere.........." 

Message Friend Invite

conni...
Apr. 4, 2008 at 11:08 AM

Awwww, that's so funny and so true!!!  My son was asking me the other day where his baby pictures are(he's the third child)  I said, "they're around here somewhere.........." 

How funny!  You know, that last one about the pictures wasn't part of the original "article" I actually added that one myself because that's my experience, LOL!

Message Friend Invite (Original Poster)

datrn
Apr. 7, 2008 at 11:51 AM LOL!  That's funny and sooo true!  I noticed poor #4 didn't even make the list.  My poor little guy is 19 months and I've been trying to get his 2nd set of professional portaits done for months (I do take a lot of candids).

Message Friend Invite

momot...
Jun. 17, 2008 at 8:06 PM Ok - finally got up off the floor - I am cracking up - soooooo true!  I used to say I would boil my first born's thumb had he been a thumb sucker!  This is soooo true!

Message Friend Invite

krazy88
Jun. 21, 2008 at 11:41 AM

how true!

Message Friend Invite

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in