1/1/08  

May You Rot In Hell Part Deux

The group in Ireland stands around the cranky old woman. Marlena just can't believe it's Colleen. The rest pipe in with their disbelief. The old woman insists she really is Colleen Brady.

The tweenies reconnoiter at the pub. They debrief about their recent meeting with Crawford. "He has one mission in life," says Max, "To see someone pay for his son's death."

But my credit card is maxed out," whines Chelsea.

Stephanie says it's Ford's own fault he died. And they didn't mean for Max to be involved. Max says he still can make a deal with Crawford. Chelsea thinks the deal he wanted to make didn't involve Max. She thinks maybe she shouldn't have said anything in the first place. Nick tells her she did the right thing. Just to make things more interesting, Crawford comes into the pub. He swaggers over to their table, "I just came from the morgue. I saw Ford's body. It was terrible. It was... it was... shaped like a cylinder. I've had a change of heart."

Sami bounces they crying Ali. Sami thinks she may have a cold, but hopes it's not the flu.

Lucas calls. He asks which one of the babies is crying. Sami tells him it's Ali. She rants at him for not being there, but of course blames herself, "I caused this but I feel like I want to hate you."

Bo challenges the crusty old coot. She claims she really is Colleen Brady. She's heard Sami is the spitting image of her when she was younger and is pleased about that, "Over the years, may love for Santo held me together and tore me apart at the same time."

Colleen tells them what happened after they thought she killed herself. It's more or less the Reader's Digest version. She wanted everyone to think she killed herself, but to do that would have been a mortal sin, so she didn't jump. She ran and hid and Santo went back to his life with his wife and son. Her hope of a future with him was dashed. She heard Santo never smiled for one day after that and Stefano bore the brunt of his father's pain, "And Stefano blamed me for all the days of his life."

Max reminds Crawford of his deal. Crawford slugs down a shot of booze and says maybe he can't win but he can make Chelsea's life hell. Max reminds Crawford of the girls Ford raped. "There is no proof he did that," says Crawford, "but there is proof he is dead." He thinks the victim was Ford. Stephanie says they didn't want to kill him, they just wanted him to stop hurting people.

Crawford rants at Chelsea, "Somehow you lured him to the house. He never would have come there on his own, so that's another piece of evidence against you."

Chelsea says Ford was arrogant. She denies she pushed him. Crawford says, "I'm going to the DA. I'm going to have him press full charges. May you rot in hell for what you did."
Crawford storms out. Nick consoles Chelsea.

Sami rants at Lucas, "I still love you but I want to kill you." As she rants she discovers EJ standing at the door. She tells Lucas she can't talk anymore and hangs up. "How long have you been standing there," she bellows, "What are you doing here?"

EJ remains calm, "I live here... for the moment."

"What does that mean," snorts Sami.

"Our situation has changed dramatically," says EJ, "We're going to start working with a good script and a real plot."

Colleen says Santo's love was merely a memory to her. Stefano was consumed with hate for all his life. He held Colleen responsible. Colleen insists by faking her death she gave Santo back his life, "In other words I saved him the torture of living with a nasty old nag like me."

Bo isn't buying it, "Does anybody believe her?" Some do, some are skeptical. Colleen gets in Bo's face and screams, "I'm Colleen Brady. I'z barn with that name. It's the name I'll carry to me very last breath." Bo hopes that last breath comes sooner rather than later.

The brat throws a fit. Nick tries to console her but she beats him away, "Would you feel differently if Mr. Decker were threatening you?"

"No."

Billie rushes in with Kate. She knows Chelsea didn't do it and thinks Crawford knows deep down she didn't either. Kate tells the group she knows how to help Chelsea as she drags her out of the pub, "Bloomingdale's is having a sale." Billie follows.

Guards bring Lucas into Roman's office. He says he has something to tell Roman, "I want to confess. I did it. I shot EJ in the back. I was trying to kill him. I don't want a trial, just time served. All I ask is you get me in the same cell with Carmine."

Colleen insists it's the truth. Afterward she moved to another part of Ireland, changed her name and became a seamstress. She didn't stay in Ireland. She went to South America. She never got married. "I worked making clothing. I started by making clothes for the children. Then the women liked my work so much they asked me to start making clothes for them. Then I also started making men's clothes. One thing led to another and the business grew. I found out I had a knack for finances, too, so I changed my name to Levi-Strauss, started a company and made a nice chunk o' change." She says she only recently found out she had relatives in Salem. She asks all their forgiveness, but says she took something of theirs. Colleen summons Crystal, who stands at the door and motions for Claire.

EJ says they are there so they can be safe from Stefano. He tells her Stefano is no longer a threat. "What," asks Sami, "Is he dead? I doubt that. He's pretended to be dead so many times he probably has his own drawer at the morgue."

Kate and Billie take Chelsea to see Victor. They tell him about Ford and the fact that Crawford is trying to put Chelsea in prison. "Consider the matter taken care of," says Victor.

Chelsea asks, "Just like that?"

"Just like that."

A stenographer records things as Lucas makes his confession. Abe tells him he's doing the right thing. They will have it typed up and Lucas can sign it. Abe asks why he is doing this. "Sami loves me but wants to kill me," explains Lucas, "I look at it as protective custody."

Abe says most people don't plead guilty without a deal. He thinks there is something more. Lucas says he talked to Sami. She knows he's guilty and there is no reason wasting the taxpayers money, "It won't be a life sentence."

"It's not a picnic either," says Roman. Lucas says all he can hope for is that the judge will be lenient.

Stephanie thanks Max for standing up for them. Nick leaves. Stephanie thinks Max really handled Crawford. "If helping you isn't the right thing to do," says Max, "then lock me up."

Claire runs to Belle. Shawn joins in the joyful family hug. John wanders as Colleen smiles. "You win some you lose some," says Claire.

John slides the knife into his hand. Marlena walks over and reminds him Claire is his granddaughter. John retracts the knife, "How nice."

Bo goes over to Colleen and says she has some 'splainin to do.

Victor gets off the phone and tells Chelsea, "It's all taken care of."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"What is it, again, you do for a living," asks Chelsea.

"I'm a businessman," says Victor, "That's all you need to know. It's best not to dig too deeply."

Billie thanks him. "Anything for Chelsea," says Victor.

Chelsea asks another favor, "You know... Max sort of moved Ford's body."

"Sort of...," asks Victor.

Chelsea comes clean and tells him the tale of Max the body-snatcher. Victor says if Max is charged he won't get much more than a slap on the wrist, but there isn't much he can do for him.

Bo lectures Colleen for taking Claire. Hope piles on. Colleen rants and says she had to do it because she feared Stefano. Bo and Hope assure her they already know Stefano is a sociopath. She didn't have to take Claire to convince them of that. Bo threatens to press charges. Colleen defends herself, "I had to protect her. I felt that way about protecting everyone from Salem. Everyone. Including Brady. Brady Black."

Stephanie and Max sit at a booth. Stephanie gushes, "You are awesome when we need you."

"What do you mean 'when WE need you,'" asks Max, "How about you?"

"OK," says Stephanie, "When I need you. You are the only one who would have been dumb enough to help with Ford."

Billie and Chelsea come back into the pub. Chelsea tells Max and Stephanie about Victor making one phone call and getting her off the hook, "Unfortunately, Max, Victor said he couldn't do much to help you."

EJ tells Sami about Stefano's coma, "They say he's catatonic, vegetative."

"They don't know how this happened," asks Sami.

"All they know is he was watching DOOL," says EJ, "Lexie could do more tests, but Tony and I agree with her that we shouldn't. We are going to send him to a state sanitarium and he will be there until he meets his maker."

"Imagine that meeting," says Sami.

Ali's crying interrupts. EJ shushes her and she quiets down. He tells Sami he really regrets following in Stefano's footsteps. Sami understands, "You can't go back and change the past, EJ."

"No," he agrees, "Unless you're a DOOL writer. But I can be a better man for you and the children." Ali cries again and EJ picks her up and bounces her. Ali adds motion sickness to her list of ailments. Sami asks if they get to go home now. EJ says that's what it looks like. He continues to bounce Ali as Sami gets a call from Lucas.

Sami isn't in any mood to talk to Lucas, but he begs, "I want you to come and visit me and bring Ali so I can say goodbye."

Crawford arrives at Victor's place. Victor has him come in and sit down, "There has been a misunderstanding."

Colleen says she does not have Brady. She doesn't know where he is. She asks Chloe if she knows. Chloe says no and walks off. Phillip follows. "I pray no evil has befallen him," says Colleen.

"What evil could be worse than being a part of this wacko bunch," asks John.

Marlena reminds John Brady is his son. John don' give a flip.

Hope and Bo ask why Colleen had to kidnap Claire and Brady. "For safekeeping," says the old crank, "That's alll I'm goin' t'say right now."

John stares the stare of the damned. He drops the knife into his hand again as everyone gathers around Claire. Marlena comes over to John and they lock eyes.

Outside, Chloe cries. Phillip comes up to her but she walks off. Inside, John approaches Colleen and sits across from her. Pan in on Colleen.
1/2/08
Spooned To Death
Lexie arrives at the safe house to check out poor sick Allie. She tells EJ, "You did the right thing calling. A baby this age with a fever could be serious." She asks if Johnny is showing any symptoms and EJ tells her he seems fine.

"I'm surprised you made a house call," says EJ, "Most doctors these days won't do that."

"It's part of my new job," says Lexie, "If this is an infection, I have to deal with it. The hospital just made me Chief of Staph."
She asks about Sami. EJ says she had to go out.

Actually, Sami's in, not out. In jail. With Lucas. He's upset she didn't bring Allie, and they argue. Lucas wants her to assure him she will bring Allie before he goes up the river. Sami insists he will get out of prison. Lucas isn't so sure about that.

Phillip and Chloe wander the streets of New Ross. Chloe is sorry she can't be very good company. She's worried about Brady. Phillip wonders if she's more worried about being arrested. She follows that up by challenging the sincerity of Phillip's new bond with Shawn. Phillip snorts, "Let's keep walking."

Belle and Shawn are downstairs at the bed and breakfast. Giddy Belle squeals, "I just can't believe we got Claire back."

"It's hard for me to believe, too," says Claire, "I thought I had finally pulled off my escape. I had arranged to meet Ciara at Loch Ness, but now she'll have to hunt for the monster on her own."

Patch, Kayla and OMB arrive. Big reunion. Patch thinks OMB has one hell of a surprise waiting for him, "I don't know what will get to him more... the shock of meeting Colleen or the stroke he has afterward."

Bo and Hope are up in their room getting ready. Bo makes ominous remarks about his back killing him. He's surprised OMB agreed to come, but he's glad he's there. He wonders how his pop will react to finding out Colleen is alive, "He'll probably be confused like the rest of us. He'll probably be confused about Colleen, too."

Sinister John, the man in black, puts his foot up on a chair and sticks his knife into his boot as Marlena sleeps. John turns and heads out the door. "Where do you thing you are going," asks Marlena.

Lexie comes down and says Allie has croup. She prescribes steam and ibuprofen. EJ frets but Lexie tells him to calm down. She says this is common among infants, "I treated Belle for it just last week." EJ says he loves Allie just as much as Johnny. Lexie thinks he's putting himself in an emotionally vulnerable position. He thinks Sami can't raise them on her own and he won't let them down. He tells Lexie Sami is visiting Lucas. Lexie bursts his balloon and says Sami and Lucas love each other.

Sami begs Lucas to fight the charges. "You don't get it, do you," yells Lucas, "I'm not getting out of this. It's over. I pleaded guilty to the attempted murder of EJ DiMera."

Phillip says he meant everything he said to Shawn. He's done chasing after Belle. "We'll see," says Chloe.

Patch announces they have a surprise for OMB, but he has to take a nap first. He agrees and goes upstairs. Shawn and Belle follow.

Patch wonders if they should have told OMB in advance. "Of course not," says Kayla, "That would have been the sensible thing to do, so we couldn't do that. He'll be much better off now that we've drug him halfway around the world to have his heart attack." Kayla hopes the trip helps erase some painful memories for OMB.

"Don't worry," says Patch, "He won't remember a thing once he keels over dead from the shock of seeing Colleen."

Bo and Hope wonder why Patch and Kayla didn't tell OMB about Colleen. "That would have been the sensible thing to do so they couldn't do that," says Bo, "He'll be much better off now that they've drug him halfway around the world to have his heart attack." Bo's back continues to bother him. Hope decides she will give him a backrub later. Bo perks up. Hope thinks a part of Colleen wanted to punish Santo.

"She also punished OMB by keeping quiet," says Hope.

"Now everyone wishes the cranky old motormouth would keep quiet," says Bo. Hope thinks Santo is the one who made false promises.

John says he is going downstairs for breakfast. Well, Marlena has ordered room service. John says he knows the place doesn't have room service. Marlena made special plans. She goes into the next room to dress. "Whatever you have to do Blondie," says John, "I'm not going anywhere until I've completed my mission."

Phillip wonders what he has to say to get Chloe to believe he's being honest about backing off and not going after Belle any more. Chloe says there is nothing he can say. He will have to show her. Phillip says she will also have to continue to prove she had nothing to do with Brady's disappearance. He's had men on retainer to look for Claire and he's going to keep them on retainer to look for Brady. She thanks him.

Shawn and Belle interrupt. Belle sends Shawn and Claire off to play. Claire wonders if she can outrun Shawn. Belle says she thinks Claire is doing OK after her ordeal. She wonders if Colleen knows anything about Brady. Chloe doesn't think she does. She and Phillip decide they don't belong at the big reunion, so they will continue to wander through New Ross while the family gives OMB the shock of his life. Shawn and Claire return. He and Belle decide to take Claire for a walk. They leave. Chloe turns to Phillip, "Well... that was awkward."

John shovels his morning gruel into his mouth and says they wasted their time seeing the old lady. He doesn't think she can help get his memory back. Marlena orders him to put his spoon down.

What," asks John, "Are you afraid of finding the cranky old bat spooned to death? I told you I'm not going to hurt anyone, especially not that irritating old coot."

Bo and Hope rush down and greet Steve and Kayla. "He's in for one hell of a surprise," says Bo.

Patch has news about Stefano, "He has taken a little trip to the State of Catatonia." Kayla tells them Stefano is in long term care.

"Right now," says Bo, "we gotta make sure that pop sees his sister. He's in for one hell of a reunion."

EJ understands Sami just can't switch off her emotions. He knows part of her still loves Lucas, but EJ and Sami share a child together. He can't walk away. He thinks it says something that Sami left him with Allie. He knows they are building trust. Lexie thinks his history with Sami isn't a good foundation for trust.

Lucas repeats the fact that he has pleaded guilty to attempted murder. He shot EJ because he did not trust in their love. He feels horrible about what he did to Sami and their family.

John stares out the window. Marlena asks if he wants to go outside. "No," says John, "I just want to see the old lady and get it over with."

"Get what over with?"

"This pointless conversation."

The maid interrupts the pointless conversation and announces Colleen has asked everyone to come to her room.

The whole clan meets in the hallway. They usher OMB into Colleen's room. Colleen turns, "Hello Shawny me boy."

OMB gasps, "Leeny! It can't be!" Hugs and tears.

Colleen says she wanted everyone to think she was dead and explains she ran instead of jumping off the cliff. She feels responsible for all the pain she has caused and will never be able to forgive herself. OMB is overwhelmed. "Will you ever be able to forgive me," asks Colleen.

"I can if you brought me toy lorry with you," says OMB, "I love you. All I can do is thank God for bringing you back to me."

They've been apart for 50 years and together for 50 seconds. Kayla thinks that's enough. She yanks him away and decides he can visit later. Shawn hauls him off. After OMB leaves, Bo introduces the Johnsons and tells her Kayla is his sister. Colleen knows about Roman and Kimberly too. She thanks them for bringing Shawny back to her. Bo lectures her for letting him think she was dead all these years. She says it weighed heavily on her heart, but she watched them all these years, "I was your guardian coot." Kayla tells her Stefano is catatonic. Colleen thinks this will be the end of the insanity. It is.! The screen goes blank!

Aw shucks. It was just a commercial break.

Lexie says EJ has no idea what is going on between Sami and Lucas right now. She gets a page. EJ heads up to check on Allie.

Lexie answers the page. She asks if they have a sample of the doomed patient's blood. She says the poor guy is out of the country and they can't get more blood right now, but wants them to use the sample they have left to run a few more tests.

Sami doesn't want Lucas to go to prison. She asks him to change his plea. Lucas can't, "I wish I could change a lot of things. I wish I were a better shot. I thought we would make it this time. I thought we would spend all the Days Of Our Lives together. Don't wait for me."

Colleen is sorry for all the pain she has caused. But she says she has paid for her mistakes by living her life alone. With a family like hers, that's not much of a punishment. She asks if life has been good to John.

"It's none of your business," growls John.

"I sense pain in you," says Colleen, "I hope you find your son."

"In other words," says John, "You just don't want the pain to stop, do you?"

Most of the crowd leaves. John and Marlena stay to ask a few questions. John wants a word with Colleen alone. Marlena refuses to leave him alone with her.

Lexie gives EJ instructions, as she gets ready to go. EJ thinks it's helpful to have a big sister that's a doctor. He asks if she thinks they did the right thing with Stefano. She does. No second thoughts. Hugs. EJ says it was the right thing to do, "Now we all can get on with our lives, especially the Bradys."

Patch wonders how they can get some food. No one else is really hungry, so Patch goes behind the bar to see if he can figure out how to operate the tap. Pulling a lever can be such a complex task. The rest of the crowd discusses the OMB-Colleen reunion. Do you think we should have told him in advance," asks Kayla.

"That would have been the sensible thing to do so you couldn't do that," says Bo, "He'll be much better off now that you've drug him halfway around the world to have his heart attack."

Hope leaves to go check on OMB.

Marlena asks, "Are you trying to get rid of me?"

Colleen says, "You shouldn't mind her staying."

John bites her head off, "Nobody asked you!" He turns to Marlena and asks if he can have a word with her. Marlena agrees and John gently touches her shoulder and turns her toward the door.

SLAM! John shoves her head into the door and Marlena collapses into a heap on the floor.

When the audience stops cheering, Colleen gasps, "OMG! I hope ye did'na damage the door! "

Lucas thinks he'll get 10 to 20 years. Sami rages, "How is this happening?" Lucas says he didn't ask her there to fight. He asked her there to say goodbye and hold her in his arms one last time.

He asks, "Can you promise you will never stop loving me?"

Sami breaks down, "You were my one and only love. Well, OK, you were in the top ten, anyway. I will never love anyone the way I love you." Hot kiss. Lucas tells her to stop crying. He asks her to tell Allie he loves her. Sami promises. Sami wades out through a gusher of tears.

EJ comes downstairs. Lexie smiles. She says this has been a strange week, but she just gotten some good news, "I know it's against every medical regulation in the book, but I might as well tell you. You'll find out soon enough anyway. I just found out Kayla is pregnant. She's going to become the first woman in history to have her own grandchild."

Kayla has Bo sit down and says there is something they have to tell him. They didn't want to say it in front of Hope. "It's not good man," says a somber Patch.

John takes his knife out. Colleen shudders.

John threatens, "You make one sound and anyone who comes through the door dies with you."

Colleen gasps, "Why in the name of God are you doing this?"

Meanwhile, Ciara scubas fifty feet below the surface in the chilly, murky waters of Loch Ness. Off in the distance, she thinks she can see a huge, indistinct object swimming toward her..

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