I have so many problems with letting go of my mistakes.... Everyone tells me I need to but HOW? How do you let go of hurthing some one else or doing something that is not too nice. Its not easy for me and I constantly think of me mistakes and regrets... I have alot of regret, remorse, shame.... Its not even just mistakes its other things too.. Like I cannot let go of what my mother has put me through no matter how hard I try to... I am so angry at her its crazy... I dont know if I am the only one with the problem or not but I wanted to vent... Thanks for reading.

kim

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toddl...
Feb. 1, 2008 at 1:28 PM

Just a quick note to say you're not the only one. Only knowing a little bit more about where my mom was coming from back then, helped me to be able to forgive her and move forward. Although, she makes it hard everyday. She may be a "recovered" addict and alcoholic now, going on twenty four years now but, she still has the alcoholic and addict  mentality. Where as I know I have those traits and work VERY hard to curb them, she does not.

That being said, I have forgiven her but, more often than not I find myself angry at her behavior, her repeated mentality. For even though she is "sober" she still holds that bitterness and anger that originally were her problems. So, every now and again, I find myself angry at her. I get so angry that I can't even stand to look at her, talk to her, nothing. I try to hold my tongue though, as we've moved my mother in with us a few years back due to her health issues.

I always say this, I can forgive because knowing where someone came from can help a lot to understand the person they became. Yet, it does not give a person the excuse to keep behaving in a self destructive or hurtful manner toward others, especially when they're old enough to know better.

Anyway, I can forgive but, I may not forget. I don't think I will ever forget what my mother did and didn't do but, I try to use that to make me a better mother to my son.

I'm not preaching at you here girl! LOL I just wanted you to know that I understand and have been there, heck there are days when she's pushed way pushed my husband's and my boundaries and it's all I can do to hold my tongue!!! Although we just had our annual screaming match a few weeks ago and low and behold, she didn't take off. It's what she does when ANYONE confronts her, she leaves. So, the fact that she didn't for once, gives me hope that maybe one day she can understand my distance to her and my regard for her behavior.

Sorry for rambling here but, trying to manage the three year old, not vomit from morning sickness, make lunch and type....LMAO now that's multi tasking!! LOL

Hope this helps on some level. HUGS and I hope it gets better!

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crazy...
Feb. 1, 2008 at 2:25 PM YOUR DEFINATLY NOT ALONE I CRY OFTEN FOR THE MISTAKES THAT I HAVE MADE AND THE EFFECT THEY'VE HAD ON MY FAMILY AND KIDS... ALL I CAN DO IS TAKE COMFORT IN KNOWING THAT NOW IM ON TRACT AND DOING A GREAT JOB WITH MY KIDS AND THAT EVEN THO I'VE MADE MISTAKES IN MY PAST THAT THATS WHERE THEY ARE IN THE PAST AND MY KIDS ARE GREAT EVEN WITH ALL THE MESS AND DRAMA AND I COULDNT ASK FOR MORE THAN THAT... REMEMBER IT CAME TO PASS... IT DIDNT COME TO STAY!

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