Ugh i dont kno what to do. I have just started going back to work and dont kno how much longer im gonna go!! In the morning when i work my fiance's mother watches her and in the evening if im working my fiance does. I love his mother and she is great and all but i dont know how to tell her how to watch my baby! She is a first time grandma and everything so she love doing everything for arianna and watching her. BUT i dont like the way she does it. She does not wrap my daughter up when she goes to sleep. I wrap her up EVERY time she goes to sleep so she knows she has to go to sleep and so she can sleep better b/c she still wakes her self up when she moves. Grandma doesnt do that. On top of that she holds her when arianna sleeps! *big sigh* SO last night i had to hear my tired daughter crying and fighting sleep for 45 minutes! Arianna fights me now when i wrap her up and she thinks i have to hold her in order for her to sleep. I dont know how much longer i can work if thats how she is going to watch my daughter. Arianna WILL NOT ever go to a day care for any reason. Brian let it slip last night that his mom thinks its hurting her or something if Arianna is wrapped up. I dont kno how to say either my daughter gets wrapped p when she sleep and she sleeps n her crib or bed OR ur not watching her and i am not working. My daughter being raised by me is more important than working! Again this morning i know that my daughter needed a nap and she again fought me for an hour this time untill she fell asleep in her swing. I cant do this. My daugher if raised and taken care of the way , I, HER MOTHER, has her taken care of her,  she would not have had to fight and cry last night or this morning!!!

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olgag...
Feb. 1, 2008 at 1:19 PM

this is really hard. My daughter is 4 now and she is great! I went back to work when she barely turned 6 months, and she got a really nice person for  Nanny. Maria was a blessing to our family, she did the best job helping me raising Abby. It is now when my girl is 4 yo I realized that Maria did not help me to raise Abby - she raised her!  I was just there few hours a day and on weekends. I am not to nag about what a bad mother I am not being there for my own child, but back then getting back to work was more necessity rather then my choice. If I could go back 4 years - I'd do EVERYTHING possible to raise Abby myself. Not that Maria ( we are still very good friends with Maria's entire family even though we moved from CA) wasn't the best person for Abby to grow up with...I have these constant "guilt trips" when something is not in the order - blaming myself that if I'd stay at home with Abby - this would not have happened. I can't even bring a sensible example, it is just a general feeling that I did not do what MOTHER has to do.My daughter is an amazing littler character and looking back I thank Maria often for helping Abby grown up who she grew up to be. It is me - who cannot forgive myself. So I think what you are experiencing now is very closed to what I am going through.

From my own experience, letting family member to get involved in raising your child is even worse. At least you can tell the Nanny what you expect from her without fearing to hurt her feelings.  Remembering the times when my Mom helped me watch Abby - it was twice more difficult for me, because I was being torn between the welfare of my child and trying not to hurt my Mom's feelings.

If I had to go back 4 years, I would quit my job (this would bring us close to almost "not making it" but there is always a bigger thing you're sacrificing for) and be Abby's mom as God intended me to be. 

So much for the encouraging message, but may be it Will help you to make the right decision.

Good luck with your little one - she is precious! 

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