well, my mother forever has told me "April, you could screw up a wet dream!" It's true I suppose.  This is what has happened.   I left a job that I really liked for more money and they were gonna pay for my education.  Well, I went for 3 days and was sooooo overwhelmed by all that has to be done in a nursing home I couldn't go back.  In the middle of my med pass I just burst out crying and had to gather my composure.  And it's funny, every person that I talk to that I have worked with says "April, omg you're just silly.  You're the most capable person I know to work in the nursing home."  It's so weird, I have people constantly telling me I'm "one hell of a nurse" but I really feel defeated because of this.  I think my husband is disappointed in me.  He's not came out and said it, I can just sense it.  I feel like a freakin failure.  But I'm trying to take this a find a better job.  So, I've sent out my resume and we'll see.  Oh yeah, something else I screwed up:  Since my job I took at the nursing home, the one I couldn't return to train, I had to give the daycare lady 1 month notice of my son's last day.  Well, now I'm gonna continue to need daycare since I won't be working weekend doubles, well she's already found someone to replace his spot.  Holy shit! I love love love this daycare.  This is all my fault.  And for all the reasons just listed I have gained back the last 15 pounds I worked so hard to lose.  UGH  I'll be fine, just needed to vent!

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