I've been wanting to have a baby so bad lately...

 Its a long story, but to start...

When I was with Ivan's Dad, Ivan was obviously not planned, but so be it. I love him more than anything, planned or not. Through the time we were together, I always said I wanted to have another baby and he was 100% against it, saying he only wanted to have 1 and blah blah blah. I conformed becuase well... I thought thats what I wanted too ... well long story, bitter, angry, nasty break up later...

In the long run- it wasnt what I wanted because as much as a surprise Ivan was, I never thought I could have so much joy... and I wanted more babies!!

For awhile I thought Id be happy with just Ivan- I couldnt imagine having another kid with another man... and Ivan being a step sibling to someone... I just couldnt imagine it... but I think a lot of people say that, until you meet the right person.

Thats when I met Matt. Matt is my missing piece of my puzzle...

Matt was married for sometime to an ex wife, very similar to Ivan's father- so I assume it was only natural for us to be able to relate to eachother... they thankfully, but to Matts dissapointment, never had any children. When Matt met me, Ivan and him bonded almost immedietly. They are so amazing together...

Matt is very close to his mom, and he really values her opinion, and her acceptance... when she met me, she instantly told him that I was "the one" (which was a surprise to him becuase she hated his ex wife). She even went around the house and put pictures of him and I up... very sweet. My family also really loves him too... they think he is exctaly the kind of guy I have needed all along- someone loving and caring, but also someone strong, and understanding... a person with goals, a job... and Matt has it all...

We've only been together for 7 months, but it feels like we have been together forever- and not in a bad way.

Its come up time and time again, where Ive forgotten to take my pill and told him we cant have sex, or where he jokingly says "cant have any little Matt's as long as your on that thing..."

So Im torn. He always says his mom would be so excited that she would have a Grandbaby from her only, as they both put it "sane" child...

I want a baby with him... I see the love in his eyes for me and Ivan... and I want to give him his own flesh and blood...

 

Im sane, right?

 

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Comments:

Rubia653
Feb. 1, 2008 at 1:59 PM

Yes, but I think if you're goign to make the kind of comitment to have a child together you should get married first, espesically for Ivan. It would be less confusing for him if you were married before you got pregnant. 7 months is long enough, especially when you just 'know' that it was meant to be.

Good luck!

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natha...
Feb. 1, 2008 at 2:07 PM

you are sane. i feel the same way with my man. similar situation too. not my sons father, but he takes on the responsibility of the "job". i was even technically married when we met and started dating. i had already kicked him out ands tarted the divorce papers so we dont count it as cheating....anyway. before we met i didnt think i would want to give my son a half sibling either until i met my man (valentines day will make 2 1/2 years together).. he knows i want more. he says he is afraid of what his kid would be like because he remembers how he was!LOL

 

your fine. i feel the same. cant wait to see the look in his eyes when he sees his baby 

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