I need you guys to pray for me and my family.  My sister, my babygirl. This is a lot to read: but pls read it..

 In December I started having weird panic attack feelings, I don't know why. I didn't want my daughter around ANYONE, but me and her daddy.  One day, I was at work and she had told a friend of mine that was keeping her that one of her grandfathers was "touching" her.  I freaked out, felling like all those feelings very much meant something now and went and got her.  I took her to the Ped. office immediately. After their not very thorough or concerned exam, they referred my baby to a local hospital for a disease panel test.  I took her, and they took her blood, she screamed and screamed, I couldn't handle it. They were sooooooooooooooooo uncaring, unsincere, and she's only 4!  They did a swab, down there, and there was BLOOD on it.  I was crying by this time but had to be strong for her.  It was off to the Sheriff's office after that.  She told the officer about all of it. And the worst part is, this is MY FATHER! He was taking her to ballet, (her passioN) on Tuesdays for an hour while I worked. I was so relieved when he offered because I didn't want to pull her from her special privilige.

God my head was spinning. To make a long, long story short, it was off to different cities for different procedures.  My lil sis came forward... he had RAPED her when she was 12.  I kept wondering, why, and how, and ___________?  They arrested him, and put him in. An ex-Deputy who was a friend of his bonded him out, and now he is free.  I am fighting every day, with not only the emotional aspects, but trying to make sure he gets more than a slap on the wrist.  The Ped's office didn't do a sexual assault case and that has hurt my case.  All i have now, is my lil sis & my baby girls testimonies. 

I really need a miracle, I need to be home with her, because honestly, she isn't the same baby. That's why I'm stressing over my credit card debts. She's got to go through therapy now and it's sad because she doesnt realize what is going on with her.

God Bless

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Feb. 1, 2008 at 2:51 PM You are living every parents worse nightmare I hope he gets what he deserves & your baby girl gets the strength to move forward!! MY praYERS are with your family!

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Feb. 1, 2008 at 3:08 PM My dear friend you have made a big step by posting it.  Keeping it silent is not a good thing.  I kept silent about my abuse for nigh on 40 years mainly because I forgot about it thank God really.  Take everything all your worries, your bills everything to God.  Believe me He can wrought miracles like you would never guess.  I too went bankrupt last year and this was years of debt crisis.  Keep on loving not hating but be honest with God and give your life over to Him He will give you peace beyond anything the world can give.  It is hard I know, don't give up good will come out of this and leave room for God to avenge the perpetrators - this too I know is hard.  I still get hung up on it.  I will lift you up in prayer and just wait my friend God will move and act.  Take care I'm here for you.  jacqui xx

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Feb. 1, 2008 at 3:33 PM Oh, I'm so sorry for you and your baby girl. I'm afraid to say that this is much more common than people know. When I was about 7 it was discovered that my father was molesting my older half sister, and it destroyed my family! Even as an adult this pervert would try to put Vicks on my chest, and I don't mean in a good way! This, when I've only seen him a handful of times as an adult. Once a pedophile, always a pedophile! You can NEVER trust him around either of your children again! You have no way of knowing if his interest stops with just girls. It's usually caused by the need to feel power over another, so I wouldn't be surprised to find that he would "go after" little Peanut also. Just goes to show that "Someone" was working when he lead the two of us to become friends! And it wasn't so that I could help you with your page. Feel free to write and vent any time! I'm here for you! Hugs

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Feb. 1, 2008 at 8:22 PM First of all let me say I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. I'm glad that you got inspiration from a mutual friend of ours. I was really proud of her too. By posting this you let me know that you're not going to roll and and take it. And you shouldn't! As a former victim of abuse I can tell you shutting up is not the way to go. Keeping it all bottled up inside only makes it harder for you to heal and live a full life. Plus, one day it will eventually come out in the worst way. I said I am a former victim because I no longer let someone else's ignorance and total disregard for life stop me. I ain't nobody's victim but I am a victorious woman. Don't give up just keep moving forward. We're all here for you. Much Love -Rose

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Feb. 3, 2008 at 12:50 AM

i'm sorry - i kind of know how you feel, 1 because i was that little girl and 2 a 12 yr old boy touched my daughter and i was devastated!

praise God because of what happened to me i have educated my daughter since she too young to understand every thing - i have all boys, so i would tell her as a baby when we changed clothes; lets clothes the door girls need privacy, nobody touches your body it private, only mommy, daddy and a doctor should ever see your body - if i did not tell her that, when she was 3 she would have never told me this boy touched her!

your daughter is young and she with God's grace can heal and you can help her - it sounds crazy but i tried not to make it to be a huge negative experience to her - i was horrified, but i tried to hold it together in front of her. i told her the boy was naughty and could not see her any more but i praised her for telling me! told her what a good girl she was and how i was proud she told me and that she could always tell me (she told with in 10 min) most little girls have no idea what is happening (i did not) but because i had taught her about privacy she knew no one should touch her or look at her.

my step-father never had jail time and my mother is still married to him - yup that's right. 

after years of pain, hate and depression, i cried out to God to heal me and to my surprise he took my anger for this man away?! I know everyone can not forgive it, but the truth is for me it held my life captive, he had control of me because of my hate for him.  my testimony is written in overcomers group. My thoughts and prayers are with you sweetie.


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Feb. 3, 2008 at 11:43 AM Thanks so much for responding.  I definitely hold it together for her, in front of her, but its the inside of me that hurts.  I guess I feel betrayed my father.. absolutely furious for my sister, and more than both for my daughter.  Now, I understand why my sister was an alcholoic wqhen she was 15-16.  Luckily, God surprised her with a son, (Jellybean) and she's got a new lease on life.  I want to try to get her going on this site sometime... it's so much better for her than MySpace where teenage drama over her b/f and her school life run amuck.  Much love, and thanks again!

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Feb. 4, 2008 at 3:46 PM

you're right this is so much better then myspace & at the overcomer group - it's healing!

i just recently wrote a post about my abuse exsperience - you can be a victim of it or you can get the victory over it , there is no in between!

i'm so sorry for the ladies that spend a life time letting the abuse define them, it was not there fault & the are beautiful in God's sight - your daughter with your help will overcome and be a blessings to others.

even if your father never gets justice here in a court of law, he will have to stand before God and face judgement for what he did - i think that is far worse then what any court can sentence.

It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. Luke 17:2


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Feb. 4, 2008 at 5:42 PM WOW, im sooo sorry you have to deal with this. Life is not fair and we all get obstacles thrown in our paths and we start to wonder if we will ever make.  Just tell yourself you will and, you will.

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Feb. 5, 2008 at 12:06 AM I am SO sorry that you and your baby girl have to go through this.  I'll keep you all in my prayers and hope for the best possible outcome in this.  Stay strong sister.  I'm here to talk if you need me ever!  God will pull you through this - He's always there for you.

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