WARNING: THIS WILL MAKE YOUR SKIN CRAWL

HOPEFULLY SOMEONE WILL FIND THIS INFORMATION USEFUL IN THEIR PARENTING ADVENTURE 

So last week I discovered that my DD had lice in her eyelashes (see the post).

I was able to go through as directed and pull them off and since then I had been monitoring/checking/probing EVERY night and day. but yesterday i decided to take her to the Pediatrician after i noticed her eye was pink again...same way that this started last time so i didn't want to let anything go....


so i did my own research on "lice in the eyelashes" and discovered that when it is in the eyelashes, it is the same as pubic lice (aka crabs)...

i print out the research i found and showed it to the pedi and i saw in one article where it said that when this occurs in children, it could be a sign of sexual abuse. so i highlight that part...

at first the pedi is trying to tell me that "lice is lice" no matter where it is on the body (which is wrong. there are 3 types. body, head, pubic. and each bug looks different). so i show her the pictures of the specific bug that i saw last week. so she checks lily's eyes with a magnifier and all and nothing there (but her eye is slightly pink so there is obviously something going on). then she tells me that she is gonna go look over the papers i brought in and do a bit of her own reearch so i'm like "good".

when she comes back, sure enough, she realizes that this is pubic lice (which i knew b/c my research came from legitamate sources, ie, the CDC) and that while it likely came from her lying down on an infested surface (someones couch, chair, bed, blanket, etc...) it also says the thing about the sexual abuse.

so i have her do a full checkup and exam her THOROUGHLY for any signs of sexual abuse or anything. She also asked me a series of questions including questions about Lily's visits withher dad. And while i can't stand him, I can't deny the fact that he loves Lily and does his best to care for her. so i'm telling the dr. that while anything is possible, i don't think she's being sexually abused when she is with her dad. so i can't wait to talk to him and find out where she was sleeping lying when she was with him..but that probably wont be until march because he is in the military and not in contact with us......I haven't been able to speak to him since January 16th and he said he didn't know when he'd be able to make phone calls/ write again sooo...

in the pediatricans big red book of medical stuff, it said that to treat this lice in the eye i have to put vaseline on the eye (to suffocate/smother the bugs) for 10 days and if i see anything pull it off with my nail and thumb.....everything i'ver been already doing but i've been using tweezers when she falls into that 'deep' sleep.

she wrote a script for the eye infections that i have to fight to get into her eye 3 times a day and then the rest is up to the lord...

i had already gone through and washed, vaccuumed, and disinfected and bleached every surface in the house and i've changed our sheets 3 times since last week (b/c i am so paranoid) but last night i just went to walmart and spent almost $200 on a new bed set, all new pillows for me and lily new blankets (like the ones we use when watching tv on the couch) and a ton of cleaning supplies.

i had 2 cans of lysol (one in each hand) and i drenched my matress, flipped it over then drenched the other side, then put the brand new fresh out the package pillows, sheets, comforter on the bed.

i also washed lilys hair and put it into a million ponytails so that i could thoroughly examine every inch of her scalp. and we both took baths using Aveenos exfoliating scrub.

i actually got a better nights rest (wasn't up all night picking, scratching, probing)

i just don't know what to do...i just want this to go away and leave us alone...

i just thank God that it happened at a time when i have money to do everthing that i need to do (go to the dr, redo my room, etc...)
 

so after all of that, i get a call at lunch time from an unknown number only to call back and discover it's DCF (dept. of children and families aka hrs or whatever they call it in other states). obviously (in retrospect) the pediatrician had to report me so i got the phone call today and they are ontheir way to the sitters house, as we speak.

surprisingly, i am glad this is going on but my only concern is that they won't do the follow through and take this to jacksonvile whicj is 4 hours away and where lily's dad lives..but imma try my damndest to get them to investigate EVERYONE.

i just think its ironic that me, of all people is under investigation for sexual abuse. when the dcf used the word "allegedlly" i almost died of laughter.

so anyways, just pray for me because while i am fine and can handle the investigation, i don't know what i'd do if they found that someone actually WAS sexually abusing my baby.

its actually something that i pray about quite often b/c i can't imagine me having anything but deadly hate in my heart for anyone that messes with my baby. as of now i feel like i wouldn't mind spending the rest of my ife in jail for murder if anyone caused harm to her...and i write this with COMPLETE seriousness...I've actually planned what i would do and all as far as setting things up so that she would be cared for and financially set. So theres no doubt it would be very much premeditated.

so i always pray that GOd remove that potential anger/hate that i'm storing...because aside from that I'm genuinely a sweet, loving, carefree person.

THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE...

 

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Comments:

ellia...
Feb. 1, 2008 at 3:37 PM DANG GIRL, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.  I WOULD BE FLIPPING OUT ON MY HOUSE ALSO.  SO GLAD YOU COULD AFORD IT.  SO WHAT DID THE TEST COME BACK?  THAT SHE WAS NOT ASSULTED?  I CAN SEE WHY THEY INVESTIGATE AND I THINK ITS GOOD BUT I TOO WOULD DIE IF THEY THOUGHT I DID SOMETHING.  DAMMIT WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST ACT RIGHT WITH THEIR KIDS.  MAKES ME SO MAD, MY DUMMY I S THE SAME WAY.  I WOULD BE FURIOUS.  THANK GOD YOUR SUCH A GOOD MOMMY AND HAVING THIS STUFF CHECKED OUT.  GIRL I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO.  HANG IN THERE.  HOW'S LITTLE ONE TAKING ALL THIS POKING AT HER? 

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MamaC...
Feb. 1, 2008 at 3:42 PM Oh, my! You poor mama! What a situation! You are such a good mama! Keep us updated! I hope it was just the sleeping surface!

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Porschia
Feb. 1, 2008 at 3:52 PM

oh yeah, the test came back good (they basically just checked her vagina and bottom and everything was "in place". DCF will also be doing a more thorough investigation with one of their docs in a few days.

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Porschia
Feb. 1, 2008 at 3:56 PM

And lily was none-to-happy about them poking around in her vagina and butt and mouth and ears and eyes and armpits, etc....but....and she had also missed her nap so she was just super crank about the whole ordeal.

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kymgbry
Feb. 1, 2008 at 4:02 PM Wow I will be praying for you I am in Jacksonville if you need me to hunt down her dad and question him for you :). God Bless and you and Lily are in my prayers:)

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Momti...
Feb. 1, 2008 at 4:04 PM Wow.  Your local DSS (that's what ours is called ) won't check in Jacksonville b/c it is out of their county.  If you would like ALL parties investigated then call the DSS in that area and explain the situation.  DSS CAN make this call themselves, but they don't always do it. 

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damira
Feb. 1, 2008 at 7:08 PM I wish you didn't have to go through all this stuff but better safe than sorry, right?  I wish your baby the speediest recovery from this! Oh and I would watch a CSI and Law and Order and carefully plan out the perfect murder if someone messed with my kids! lol

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Trust...
Jul. 4, 2010 at 4:00 PM

What's sickening to me (and I know this is an older journal) ...that the same things the docs are doing to her (invasion of private areas of the body)  ...if you or anyone else did that... IT WOULD BE CLASSIFIED AS SEXUAL ABUSE!!!!!   So if she wasn't already sexually molested, now she feels the same sort of violation.  (JMO!)

This is why I am leery to submit my children to docs... and if we have to, they are preferrably the same gender!!  I don't go probing my children's bodies... I don't like others doing it either.  (Nothing against docs... just don't like unnecessary invasions.)

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