I am so tired, even though the older 3 boys had really good nights last night, they all slept through the night, they have only all done that on the same night one other time so it was a blessing.  Jeremiah is finally starting to do a bit better too, he is going more like 3 hours between feedings instead of 1-2. But I still can't seem to catch up on sleep, Jeremiah likes to stay up late, 11 usually and the other boys are up by 7:30 lately. 

Anyways, I am just needing a break. 

I am so frustrated with everything!!  Other than not being able to get out of the house this week like was planned (2 different dr appointments cancelled at the last moment for 2 different days!) I have been really trying to keep the house clean, after getting it cleaned for the twins birthday party I wanted to keep it that way. 

Every morning when I get up and go into the kitchen I find Dan's breakfast dishes sitting on the counter, cupboards open and whatever he had for breakfast sitting on the counter.  I try telling him that it bugs me, but he never remembers to pick up after himself. 

I thought that maybe I was feeling blue because I hadn't taken the time to take care of myself this week, so I took a shower and got dressed, put in my contacts and did my hair and makeup.  Dan came home and didn't say anything about it, couldn't he have at least said something about the fact that I didn't look like I just rolled out of bed? 

I am really trying to loose weight, watching what I eat, haven't started exercising yet, was waiting for the go ahead at the doctor today, not that I got into my appointment.  I should be happy, I only have 1 more pound to loose until I reach my prepregnancy weight, but I am not, I keep looking at all of the extra skin I have hanging around my tummy and get depressed. 

Maybe I am PMSing, my doctor did once tell me that just because you don't actually bleed doesn't mean you don't ovulate and go through the emotions of everything.  I don't know, I am just glad that it is Friday and that I will get to have adults around me for at least the next couple of days, maybe I will go out shopping by myself or something. 

Thanks for listening.

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Feb. 1, 2008 at 3:48 PM Oh, the blues are so yucky! Hope it gets better for you! Yeah...and I would give up on the DH dishes and good thing, lol! Keep your chin up mama!

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Feb. 1, 2008 at 4:07 PM

hey sweetie...it's still early.  prepregnancy?  what's that?  that was eons ago.  i wave my paw at it dismissively and say "bah."  i can because i have been where you're standing.  give it some more time.  get something for yo...a nice drinky or a movie or see if you can take a couple hours and just get your nails done.  i know sometimes there just isn't time or money for it, but try.  do something for you.  that is the biggest mistake i made in the 4 years after my fourth.  martyrs are no fun. 

and sometimes, when i feel like dh isn't listening to me, i write him a letter - or cc him a blog.  like this one.  it helps.

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Feb. 1, 2008 at 4:23 PM

Hang in there honey!!! I am feeling blue and I don't have half as much going on as you do!! Take Jeremiah and yourself out tomorrow morning and just go walk around the mall or something! I too have major issue with Trav not picking/cleaning up after himself. Seriously, he sees me struggling to keep up with a the boys..why does he not get it?! It must be a man thing. So go out, go shopping (even if you don't purchase anything) it helps me to just plain get outta the house!!

 On the weight loss..it's easy to be hard on yourself (we judge ourself much harder than others view us) but as a fellow dieter it's difficult to see the big picture! So Congrats to you!!

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