~Thought Provoking~

From the Mind of Irene

I feel so lost about so much in the world. I mean just situations, financial, will I do good enough as a mom to raise kids who are honest, hard working, loyal, chivalrous, loveable, nice and kind, God fearing? Is my husband ever going to find a job that truly suits us and our life? Will we ever get that big break that leads us into comfort and security?

And I sit back and think, of all the things I am so unsure about in life, I am always sure about Todd. About us, our family, and making it to heaven together. I am always sure, almost always sure, that he wants me and desires me. That I am the one and only woman in his life, for his life. I am the only woman he wants to share life with.

Some days I get discouraged and down, I feel as if I have let him down by us having the life we have. Had we not had kids, he would be a famous DJ right now. He would be wearing the DJ crown that he has craved for so long. I feel I have held him back, and that he could have what he wants if I weren’t to have come back into his life.

Then Todd reassures me. Tells me that I am more wrong than I could imagine. That he loves me and the kids. That we are his world his life, and that even if he never becomes a DJ, he found true happiness with our family; being a dad and husband.

So I may feel blue, and depressed about who I am, or where I am going. What is going to happen with my kids, our bills, our home, but I never need to worry about my marriage. Work on it always, but never worry. I will have it forever, for life, for always. I will always have Todd there cheering me on, picking me up when I fall down. Fixing my skinned knees, my mental breakdowns, my panic attacks. He may not always do it with grace and style, and oh boy do we butt heads. That doesn’t matter in the big scheme of things. That doesn’t matter in the end. In the end all that matters is he loves me, I love him and together we love our kids.

Thank you Todd, for giving me security, a safe place, a safe person to go to. Thank you for helping me when I can’t help myself. Even if bad things are said in the process, apologies are right around the corner. I love you.

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Comments:

momme...
Feb. 1, 2008 at 5:40 PM

Sounds to me like you are stressing needlessly... you got the important stuff covered. Good kids, good hubby, and a good faith.  Worry is a waste of time, If you want God to take care of your problems you have to let go so he can!

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omely
Feb. 1, 2008 at 5:46 PM   it sounds to me like u have a pretty good life already.  u have a good hubby who loves u and your kids don't b so stressed just have faith keep loving your family keep praying and all the bills and all that is troubling you will fall into place.  my hubby and i r in debt put we have faith we keep praying and we stick together and we try to come up with ideas to get out of this together.  you have something wonderful that is a loving and committed hubby so many man today r so selfish and at the drop of a dime they r ready to give up and walk away from their responsibilities.  best of luck to you!!!

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ashly...
Feb. 1, 2008 at 5:50 PM Looks like you have a great husband!!! Trying to find the right words to say here....okay. My husband and I weren't doing too well when we 1st got married. Actually we wasn't doing good until about 2 months ago. Got married, got pregnant...and it seemed like all we had was each other and our unborn child. We hit a major financial hole. I was so stressed and upset because I didn't want to bring our daughter into the world with us struggling ourselves just trying to make ends meet. But we got through....with our faith and our love. I sometimes can't understand how Joshua can love me so much...but he does.  And I know that he wouldn't want to anywhere else in the world than right here. With me and Allie. What I'm trying to say is ur husband is smart. LOL. DJaying may have been great....but I can promise you that his family is greater to him than any material thing in this world!

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Momma...
Feb. 2, 2008 at 2:05 AM very well written. if you have true love, you have the world. Dont worry about the small things, you have the best gift in the world, a happy family. All things will work out, God will make sure of that.

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