Well it's been almost 2 days since I have "spoken" with my Husband. Not that this is an unusual thing, he is a rel pain in the butt. Here's what happened and why we aren't speaking....

 I was getting ready for my Dr's appointment, I'm 30 weeks preggers, and I asked my DH if he would PLEASE get my Daughter dressed so we could get ready to leave. I told him the Cloths I wanted her to wear and where they were, sitting out. So he puts on her shirt, but being a guy, can't seem to find her pants, even though they are sitting RIGHT NEXT TO THE SHIRT. So he puts on a pair of CAPRI PANTS and rolls the cuffs down so they "look" like pants een thought they are 3 inches to short and her legs are sticking out. So I asked him, "Why is she wearing those, her pants are sitting next to her shirt on her bed?" and of course he proceeds to tell me No they aren't these pants are fine.". Then i said, "Um not those CAPRIS are not fine it's 15 degrees outside, plus they are to big in the waist and falling off her!" Then he proceeds to tell me "There isn't anything wrong with the GD pants and that i am just being Psycho, and I need to shut up and get ready." So I said, "Don't tell me to shut up and go get me her pants that are on the Bed please, they are sitting right there." So of course he kept saying there isn't anything wrong with the ones she is wearing ans I must be stupid because there are no pants on the bed, and for me to stop acting like a Psycho B*itch, blah blah blah. So I told him if he would like me to show him where the pants are, I sure would, then he told me I got those out of the closet, which I DIDN'T. Then I said here let me show you the other pants were Capri's, then he started acting like a total moron when I showed him, and kept calling my Psycho so i said "IF you say that again I will slap you." So he said " Well if that doesn't prove you are a Psycho B then I don't know what does", and tried to grab my arms to shove me away from him, so I slapped him in the face as hard as I could, (sadly this all happened in front of our 3 year old), then I started to walk away and he shoved me from behind and said "He was leaving and to hell with me." And I told him if he thinks he is taking our daughter ANYWHERE acting the way he does I'd call the cops on him, so I went and got the phone and was pretty ready to call the cops. He ended locking himself in the bathroom for the next 20 minutes, and then dropped me and my Daughter off at My Dr's appointment, then showing up to pick us up.

But we haven't spoken since then. He has to act like a TOTAL idiot. And he thinks to seem I have been joking when I say if he calls me a Psycho B*itch to my face I would slap him. I mean that probably wasn't the BEST reaction or thing for me to do, but if he's gunna grab onto me and act like he is going to throw me down, that's about all the damage I could do he out weighs me by about 40 LBS.

So what I am trying to figure out now is what to do from here. I had decided Yesterday that I was LEAVING maybe not permanently but for the rest of the week, and was going to have my Brother come get me, I live 2 hours away from ANY other family. But decided I should stay and TRY to talk to him, which was unsuccessful, because when he got home yesterday form I work I asked if I could talk to him and he said NO, and started on his home work, and wouldn't even look at me. So i Wrote him a letter and stuck it on his desk, Pretty much telling Him I was sorry(which I am) and that he needs to decide what he would like to do form here. Because the past 3 1/2 years has been one giant fight fest, and I really can't deal with this anymore, especially since we are expecting baby #2. He's so stubborn and childish and unappreciative and UNHELPFULL. Of course he still wouldn't talk to me at bedtime last-night or this morning or today so far. So I am patiently waiting to see what happens.

Not to mention his PARENTS are coming up to our house tomorrow for his BIRTHDAY, so that will be just PEACHY if we are still not speaking. So I have no IDEA what to do next. And I feel pretty lost.   

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Feb. 1, 2008 at 7:22 PM Oh honey - I am sorry you have to go through this.  I know emotions can run extra high that far in pregnancy, but what your husband did was wrong.  I know if mine pulled that crap, I'd be out of there that night.  Your family will come pick you up - you know they will - if you need them to.  I'm not saying leaving your husband forever is what you should do, but you may need to put a little distance between the two of you for the time being.  Perhaps you could also talk to his parents about how he's been treating you.  As a mother of boys, if their wife ever told me all that stuff I'd flatten my boys.  I'm raising them better than that, but if they ever outgrew their britches, I'd bring them back in line.   Your husband should not be pushing or grabbing you - especially at 30 weeks pregnant.  I don't personally know you or your husband, so I can't say how things really are in person, but I know I'd be very reluctant to stay.  Nothing is worth your safety and the safety of your children.

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Feb. 1, 2008 at 7:27 PM

Hi. I don't know if I can say anything useful or not, but you asked for some input, so here goes. First of all I want to say that I'm by far no expert on this. I've been married for almost 28 years now and my hubby and I have not had any fights as you described here. I just wanted you to know that there are still good men out there!!

You have done nothing wrong!!! I think that maybe your hubby is feeling bad about something and doesn't want to say what that might be. There could be a hundred reasons why he is acting the way he is. Have you prayed about the situation to HF? I know without a doubt that HF knows exactly what you are going through right now. He knows how you feel and He want to help you. Ask Him to soften the heart of your hubby so that he will talk with you. Ask HF if you and your hubby need to go to counseling together, or seperately.

All I can say is that I'm sorry that you have been treated this way. No woman, especially a pregnant woman, should be treated or spoken to in this way. Take this matter up with the Lord. Be patient. I know that if you are doing all that you should be doing that the Lord will bless you and you will be able to make the right decision for you and your family.

I'll be praying for you!!!!!!!   Laurie

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Feb. 2, 2008 at 2:13 AM I want to know how he responds to the letter you wrote him...I just wrote my husband a letter as well because we have been arguing quite often lately...but we also never see eachother due to how much we both work and it has been very stressful....but I just want to know if he'll actually read and respond to the letter I wrote him...let me know how yours goes please!

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Feb. 2, 2008 at 9:31 AM You two really need to get some counseling.  You're in an abusive relationship and you need help.  Talk to your Bishop and ask him to give you a referral, and if your husband won't go then go alone.  Even going alone can help some.  Good luck!

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Feb. 4, 2008 at 7:07 PM Hey babe, Chris and I have been having lots of fights too, I've found though that you shouldn't get your family or his family involved, it just makes things worse.  A couple of years ago, Chris broke my nose and I went over to his sister's house (she lived 3 houses down from us) after returning from the hospital because I didn't feel comfortable being around Chris and she didn't believe me- black eyes and all!  Now, Chris' family thinks I'm a bad person for "lying" about him like that.  Boys are dumb, especially when they're young and haven't matured.  If you ever need to, we have a guest room you could stay in.  Don't take that physical and verbal abuse from him though, I can't believe how rude guys are when you're prego.  Anyway, hope everything has worked out by now, maybe I'll se you at the doctors, if you haven't heard, I'm pregnant again- 5th pregnancy, crazy, I know!

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