Walk this way...
Current mood: depressed
Category: Life

You know, we always take our bodies for granted...

How much abuse have I heaped upon this poor frame of mine? The final straw, apparantly, was giving birth this past week.  I actually can't walk very well right now.  31 years old, and I've thrown out my back and managed to pinch a nerve in my right hip.  There is no position that is comfortable, and simply getting out of bed is harder now than it was when I was pregnant... I never would have suspected THAT was possible!

Let's see... I KNEW my back was **slightly deformed**  already - back in elementary school, they told my parents I had a mild case of scoloiosis.  Not enough to worry about, but it could be seen with their "bend over and let us look at your spine" test.

At 8, I managed to wreck my bike on "Skyview Drive" because I wanted to be like the big kids - who all had 10-speeds.  I didn't.  My bike literally shook itself apart under the stress of wheeling downhill, dumping me off at the base of the hill, and net resulting me a broken right collarbone (and a summer of no swimming).

I was a tomboy growing up  - trees were for climbing, bunkbeds were for falling off. From elementary school on through high school, I swam competitivly.  In college, I'd dance for 12 hours of rehearsal a day. 2 pregnancies later... and the final straw was apparantly the pretzel-delivery position.

The x-rays came back today with my second visit to the chiropractor.  The curve that is supposed to be present in my neck is literally completely gone.  I have a straight neck (no cracks about that one, please)  My back is so torqued that the vertabrae are twisted and off by several degrees.  Basically, it is a wonder I can function at all...

I actually had my first adjustment today, and the doctors are suggesting it could take months to get to a place where I can function and "feel human" again.  Great.  Yet another thing to add to post-partum depression.  Joy, happy happy...

Am I bitching too much?  I really just want to be able to enjoy life and keep up with my loved ones.  At 31, I should not be needing assistance to walk or stand or carry my child or run after my toddler. It should NOT take me 10 minutes to get out of bed when my littlest one is screaming for Mama. I am so frustrated with my body right now.  I feel betrayed and useless.  I don't like relying on others for the everyday, and I've been reduced to that. Grrr..

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Comments:

nikki...
Feb. 1, 2008 at 10:54 PM Aww that stinks like two week old dirty diapers.After the birth of my last baby i had the same problem and it was with my right hip the pain brought me to my knees a few times,it was when i got the epidural,which i didnt want but was talked into by my nurse,hey i was in pain and she talked me into it .But anyway they messed up or something cause i felt horrible pain on my right side i actually felt the needle being pulled out to adjust and that took away the pain ,but for almost a month in a half it was hard to walk .I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to depend on others it is hard but sometimes are bodies are telling us to slow down and take a break so we can get well to be able to care for others.Sometimes you gotta put yourself first ,i know that is nearly impossible when your a mom but try to take it easy.I hope all is well real soon take care

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clnease
Feb. 2, 2008 at 5:24 AM

Talk to the Chiro about a portable TENS unit-- rent it or see if they can get you one for about 125$ and stockpile 9 volt batteries!!  I threw out my back the week before Thanksgiving this past year & couldn't even sit on the floor to change a diaper- let alone pick up a kiddo!  L5 was out & pinching-- LOVE CHIRO'S!!  Do they do the electrical stim on you and the ultra sound?  Hate the ultra sound- but the electrical was the only thing I truly looked forward to-- and the tens unit is what the docs gave my grandmother for her quad bypass surgery to help with pain and not leave her on narcotics!
The TENS unit got me back to being able to do normal things- like sit on the potty without help & still get back up! (read journal post about missing most on holiday season)
Hang in there- and you'll get to looking forward to the therapy sessions- teach yourself to enjoy the "downtime" and "pampering" and see if the office has a massage therapist that works there or close and treat yourself- you deserve it!
Hugs
Carri

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