Satire Alert:  Reflections on On Becoming Babywise by Ezzo

The way I see it, its like you read an "expert" who said a baby's diaper needs to be changed ever 3.75 hours. No sooner, no later. Sure, you're allowed some "flexibility" if you're in public and you don't want the smell disturbing others. But when you're at home: 3.75 hours. You shouldn't be inconvienced by changing a diaper any earlier than that, after all, you have a life to live. You hear a "blow out?" Tough cookies, baby needs to learn that he's not the center of your world, he has to deal with that mess til its time to change. The only way he'll learn, is by sitting in his poop. Nevermind the uncomfortability of it, YOU come first. Don't be manipulated by his cries, he doesn't need to be changed but every 3.75 hours. Eventuallly he will learn to adjust his bowel movements to accomedate your schedule.


Those "AP" moms are seduced by their baby's cries. They let their kid run their household, they sometimes change a diaper 3 times in an hour!!!! Think of the waste! The expense of diapers, wipes and time over the changing table (or for those "radical" moms, the time they use in addition to changing in washing cloth diapers!). They may claim that they "bond" while changing a diaper, but you, on our 3.75 hour program, will have ample opportunity to bond with your baby, but don't get too close, he'll rely on you too much and be spoiled.

Critics will say to you, but what about diaper rash? Our studies have proven that there are plenty of over-the-counter and prescription remedies that have been provided by the scientific community to alleviate this condition, rendering the worry over them obselete. Others may say, doesn't it get messy, taking more time to clean up than traditional "change the baby when he's dirty method?" The same studies have shown that by 6 months of age, a baby is perfectly capable of cleaning up messes by himself. Besides, they will be very well contained in the play pen, where babies should spend the majority of their time while you attend to other, more important duties.

 Become Diaperwise and free yourself from the confining shackles of motherhood. Remember, you're a wife first!

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Comments:

mom2ljh
Feb. 2, 2008 at 1:05 PM ROFLMAO!  I hate Babywise and this was fantastic!  I love it. 

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jody7847
Feb. 2, 2008 at 1:07 PM this is hilarious!!!

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jerem...
Feb. 2, 2008 at 1:17 PM

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FarNo...
Feb. 2, 2008 at 1:22 PM That is hilarious! I think you should send it to the authors of Babywise!

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catho...
Feb. 2, 2008 at 1:35 PM lmbo, Kate!! I hate Baby Wise sooo much. This was great!

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Janaki
Feb. 2, 2008 at 1:44 PM

I love it!  And I voted it popular, too!  That's too funny!  Ezzo isn't even an "expert", really.  He's not a pediatrician.  He has kids, but from what I've heard, they don't speak to him.  His youngest was quoted as saying she "prays for his soul."  He's also been kicked out of several churches.  Some areas even red tag parents suspected of using Babywise because it's been shown to be a precursor to child abuse.  Even the AAP advises against using Babywise or any similar techniques.  I just don't get how any "parent" can view their child as such an incovenience. 

Does he seriously say that they have to learn your life doesn't revolve around them???  Seriously, I'd have to say that my life does revolve around my child (or children, when I have more), and I wouldn't have it any other way.  Seriously, if your life is too "busy" for kids, maybe you shouldn't have them!

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milkM...
Feb. 2, 2008 at 2:06 PM Love it! You KNOW I am 100% behind ya! LOL

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danawolf
Feb. 2, 2008 at 3:08 PM

LMAO ... this is fantastic.  Thanks for the new perspective on Babywise.

 

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Racha...
Feb. 2, 2008 at 3:55 PM

This is the 2nd journal post I've read on this "Babywise" method of parenting.

All I can say is OMFG! Is this book a JOKE??? I cannot imagine letting my baby (well, when my boys WERE babies) sit in a poopy diaper for 3.75 hours - that is just nuts!!!!! My oldest (he'll be 18 in a few days) would CRY to be changed as he was pooping! I'd give him a few minutes to finish up, otherwise he'd be pooping as I changed him (LOL!), but 3.75 hours???? That's absolutely insane! Don't let your life revolve around your baby? Is this person who wrote this book for real??? My kids have been the center of my universe since the day I got pregnant. I ate for them, I had quit smoking a year before getting pregnant with my oldes FOR them, I didn't drink at all when I was pregnant, I didn't take hot baths, I didn't color my hair, I didn't hang around places that were dangerous, etc. I did it so I could have a wonderful, happy, healthy baby.

Let me explain, I *do* have a life.....my hubby and my kids are my whole world. I still have "girl time" with my friends and my mom from time to time, but my REAL joy comes from family pizza, movie and game night with "my guys".

I'd tell this idiot who wrote this book to go F**K themself!

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Kaida...
Feb. 2, 2008 at 4:03 PM LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!  GREAT post!!!!   Loved it!!!!

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