Oh, the ways we hide ourselves.  How many of us run for cover at seeing a friend when we don't have make-up on?  I know I do!  I also know many of my friends do, too.  Why do we do that?  I, for one, truly believe that I look like a completely different person when I don't have make-up on.  However, I know of a friend who believes that, too, but I've seen her both ways, and she is SO beautiful with or without!  It probably took me a good 5 minutes of conversating with her face-to-face to realize she didn't have make-up on! 

So...why do we do this?  Why do we believe these things?  Is it Satan's lies that without "cover-up" we are not good enough?  Pretty enough?  Worth anything?  My goodness, how have we come to this?!  My opinion is that we have guilt and sin in our lives, and we want to cover it up any way we can.  Some of us gorge ourselves with chocolate (guilty!) among other things.  Some shop till they drop.  I'm sure there are other things.  But nearly ALL of us cover up our most personal tell-tale part....our face.  Our face is the window to our heart and boy do we want to hide what's in there sometimes!  Hurt, anger, fear, depression, guilt, shame, feelings of worthlessness, etc., etc....the list is never-ending!  After I put on my make-up, I feel I am just a little bit closer to being the person that I want to be, and that I can hide under that cover-girl and pretend to the rest of the world that I AM the person who I secretly long to be.  Does that make sense?  This is the rambling thoughts that I had as I drifted off to sleep last night. 

So...what happens when the make-up comes off?  The pain is apparent for me.  There's no hiding it.  There's no hiding that I'm a fraud.  I'm only a "want to be good" person, but deep down life hurts, and when you rip the cover off, there's raw pain underneath.  Does anyone else live under that cover?  I told my dh last night that maybe that's why I like the puter so much.  B/c I can release those thoughts and feelings a little at a time, or I can put on like I'm the woman/mother/wife that I wish to be, but seem to realistically fail at over and over. 

Hmmm...so now what?  Stop wearing make-up?  Are you CRAZY?  LOL  How does one go about becoming the person they long to be....feel they were made by God to be....without feeling like a fraud?  Maybe that's the million dollar question. 

God, I pray that you peel back the layers of phoniness and bring to truth this person I so desire to be! 

Amen.

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Comments:

Wendy...
Feb. 2, 2008 at 4:44 PM

Heh heh. Thanks for pointing that out. Comment deleted. Of course, now it's too late. But, you know, I might as well own up to my insecurities. Admitting the problem is the first step to overcoming it, right? ;-) 

And, you twit, the ego comment on your message sounded SO much like Fred. Last night, after relaying my Mormon post to him, he said, "you know, Honey, you don't have to write everything you think!" Nice. Thanks for the support, Honey.

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Jerri269
Mar. 13, 2008 at 6:45 PM LOL!

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