Mother

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby.... somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "normal" is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct .... somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring .... somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good"....somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices .... somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother.... somebody never helped a fourth grader
with his math.

Somebody said you can't love the second child as much as you love the first .... somebody doesn't have two children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books.... somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery....somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten .... or on a plane headed for military "boot camp"

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back ...somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married....somebody
doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

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