Think it sounds like a funny story or do you get it? Yep i'm almost 14 yrs old in Christ. I'm 40 in "human" terms.

Heres my story i've been going to post for quite awhile:

My life after my parents split in 1985 was a roller coaster. Noone had told me about God etc. and we were non practicing Catholics. In school there was this group of girls that were "better" than everyone else and they went to church etc but never told me about Jesus. I learned what i did about God etc. from Little House on the Prarie and such tv shows. I really did think Jesus was a sheppard.

After i graduated I had no idea what i was to do. Parents split and i was just kinda hanging. My bf (dh now) had left to find work. I took up with this person who was going to take care of me. yeah. for 2 years physically and emotionally abused me. He was a Christian. He'd lock me in a room or outside in the snow and tell me i needed to pray. I didn't need that. I finally left and the day i did (bf/dh) came to me and we picked up where we left off.

Fast forward: we were married in 88 and we loved to party and have fun. etc. I was having dreams where satan was chasing me a lot. I tried to talk to my mother and she just said that I was getting carried away. I started working with mentally challenged people. Wouldn't you know it. This guy who was a pastor at a church started working there too. I had been going thru a lot of depression, demonic dreams and where i didn't want to kill myself i really didn't want to live. I was very unhappy all the time and never could put my finger on what it was. Anyway I told him flat out i didn't want to hear any of his Jesus stuff. He said that was fine with him. But...every friday he'd say See ya Sunday? and i'd say nope not me!

One day when i hadn't slept in a few cause of the bad dreams and i was outta my head he asked me what was wrong. I told him he would think me crazy. I told him. He said first Satan was fighting for my soul and also that maybe God wanted to talk to me. WHO ME? WHY WOULD HE WANT TO TALK TO ME? Anyway one day when things were going really bad i looked up and said ok what do you want? i'm here i'm listening. and the day went good.

One Fri. he said see ya sunday and i said yeah maybe. Dh and I went. The band, yes band, was warming up and it was a charasmatic church. I bawled thru the whole service and didn't know why. I went back for several Sunday's. Then we had revival. I went to it with some friends. I remember hearing the words," if you are needing the love of Jesus, if you are tired of fighting on your own, if you would like to turn your life over to him" and the next thing i knew i was up there, up front. I wasn't for sure why but I WAS THERE! They spoke to me of Jesus and his love and how all i had to do was ask and recieve. I stood there shaking and bawling. I had growen so hard in the last 5 yrs that i didnt' cry any more i just got red mad and started drinking. I gave my life to him that day. For three days when i would try to sleep i would see angels hovering and singing. I told this to my pastor and he said didn't you know that angels rejoice when a soul is saved? he told me he knew this but never experienced someone going thru this. i was truely blessed. About a week later i had a dream Satan was chasing me again. In my dream i turned around and looked elsewhere and said Jesus help me please. and i have never had satan chase me again. I had been pressured into being baptised years ago from the so who was so christian. My pastor said God would stand behind his word but i felt it was impariative I follow God's command now that i KNEW. This is kinda why i'd like to renew our wedding vows but i can't get dh to agree! lol

Years passed and my alcoholic dh and new me started to feel the strain of the "christian" me. We had a child and things got worse. I continued to pray for him. 7 yrs ago he quit drinking. cold turkey. period (that's another story). 5 yrs ago my ds and him were baptised on the same day. God gave us a little girl too. Not that it's not been a struggle from time to time. and when the church split when i was 5 it hurt me really bad. I was lost for sevral years until dh said he would go to the local church with me where we attend now. But struggles are easier when you have Jesus to help you, talk to, just cry to. We now pray as a family. We have started reading the bible as a family and I have let my dh become head of the house. I never thought i could love dh more but this week when he picked up the bible and started reading i can't tell you how it felt. And yrs ago when we all 3 took communion together as a family i cried.

I still struggle, i still curse (i try not too but it slips), i try to do what is right but that's what God's grace is all about. Forgiveness when asked to be forgiven.

this is the short edited version. but the events are the same. I am glad God never gives up. If you ever need to know about God or have questions etc. I'm here. Know that i like my pastor will not shove him down your throat but i'll tell you He loves you and see ya sunday!

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Feb. 2, 2008 at 4:36 PM

Wonderful story! 


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Feb. 2, 2008 at 8:41 PM That really is a great story. I'm so glad you found Jesus.

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Feb. 3, 2008 at 6:39 PM

Oh, girl I have a lump in my throat reading that!  Thanks for sharing.  I know it's not easy to bare your soul like that but you never know who or how many you are helping when they read it and see that there's hope amidst overwelming circumstances.  You are inspiring :)

Reminds me of a chorus in a song:

You found me and You called me from the wilderness

from my cave of emptiness...

You found me in the places of my lonliness, You said "there's more to life than this"

you captured me with tenderness...

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