Why do people have the perverse need to post articles about people assaulting, abusing and murdering infants?  WHY?!  It's like constantly driving on the interstate surrounded by car wrecks..and you are the only one who's  more interested in getting where you are going than gaping at the carnage.  suddenly you are stuck and you can't help but stare in horror as you see decapitated bodies being hauled away.  and these people do so for what reason, other than to make people feel as sick as they do?  It's one thing if you are posting a "keep on the lookout" kind of thing, one where you live in an area where some vicious, sadistic child molester has escaped police custody and they need the public's help, and have to let the public know how dangerous this person is..you know, that's fine.  I agree with that.   But when you act like a ravening maniac posting articles that you found when you were leafing through pages of internet fluff, and you KNOW it will upset people and serve no realy useful purpose...why do you do it?

Let me post whre this comes from.  I was suffering some PP-OCD.  and my biggest trigger was stuff like these articles.   they would throw me into the biggest panic attacks, i would hide with the baby and just cry and pray that the compulsion would be over soon.   what is PP-OCD you ask? here, let me tell you...

Postpartum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

The Bad News: Postpartum OCD is horrifying for many women who have it while others just find it inconvenient depending on what obsessions they have. Postpartum OCD stems from anxiety and is usually a result of the mother's natural protective instincts going out of control. It may lead to depression or other anxiety disorders. Your brain starts to show you every horrible thing that could possibly happen to your child. The images are often horrendous and disgusting. There are actually three types of OCD: traditional OCD (having obsessive thoughts which lead you to do various activities called compulsions), pure obsessive disorder (having intrusive, persistent thoughts without compulsions), and responsibility OCD (in which the individual believes that by not carrying out a compulsion, something bad will happen to other people, leading to a sense of guilt). It is also often accompanied by postpartum depression and anxiety. Symptoms include:

  • Intrusive thoughts or mental images (thoughts that just seem to pop up out of nowhere) that are often about the baby, yourself, or your other loved ones, that are disturbing; you often feel guilty, horrified, or disgusted by these thoughts. They may be irrational or seem perfectly logical. (VERY IMPORTANT: YOU MUST SEEK HELP FROM A PROFESSIONAL PSYCHOTHERAPIST AND MEDICAL DOCTOR IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS. Intrusive thoughts require treatment.)
  • Obsessing about worries or fears (often worries that you may go crazy or that you may actually carry out some of the horrible intrusive thoughts you've had) so much that they seem to take over your life (much more than in standard depression/anxiety) and may eventually lead to compulsive behavior.
  • Compulsive behaviors (such as hiding knives because seeing knives reminds you of or creates intrusive thoughts about stabbing the baby, yourself, or another loved one; refusing to give your baby a bath without supervision because you fear you may drown your baby, cleaning excessively so your baby doesn't get sick, checking to make sure your baby is in the backseat of the car in the car seat because you fear you may forget him somewhere, checking seatbelts in car seats repeatedly (even pulling over repeatedly to do so) to make sure they are fastened correctly, so your baby doesn't fly out during a quick stop or an accident, avoiding the baby so you won't hurt her, constantly trying to keep things in perfect order or organized because you somehow feel that if you can just get organized you can get relief, etc.)

The Good News: Postpartum OCD can be treated using the same methods as postpartum depression and anxiety.

Postpartum OCD does not lead to hurting or killing your child. It does not lead to postpartum psychosis. It can, however, be accompanied by psychosis, so it is very, VERY important that you talk to a professional psychotherapist to determine whether those thoughts are the intrusive thoughts of OCD and the intrusive thoughts of psychosis.

Also, have an open dialogue with your loved ones and partner about the thoughts you are having. Always tell them what you intend to do or if you have any of your thoughts disturb you, even if you think they may reject you for having those thoughts or compulsions. It may seem strange to tell your spouse, "I'm going to check the locks again," but if you get into the habit of doing it, it will actually help you feel more in control by having another person validate your feelings or keep them in check until you can do it yourself.

Take a deep breath. Relax. And, the next time you have an intrusive thought, remind yourself, "It's just the OCD. My brain is just trying to protect my child from everything, including myself, by showing things that potentially could happen, but these things won't happen. These horrible things aren't going to happen because I recognize that they are horrible. If I wasn't disturbed by them, then I would have something to worry about because I would be psychotic, but as long as I recognize that these thoughts are disturbing, they won't happen because I'm still sane, and I will continue to be sane. Postpartum psychosis shows up very quickly after the birth (within a few days), and I'm already past that, so I'm in the clear. I just need to accept that my brain is going to show me some of these thoughts for awhile, so it can quickly pass, and I can go on with my day, enjoying my child and my life."

It may take a few times before you start to believe any of this little paragraph of self-talk (and you may need to write it down on an index card that you carry with you for quick reference, maybe put a note on the back of your hand in ink that says "card" to remind you to look at it when you start having an intrusive thought), but eventually it will become a mantra that you memorize and will automatically pop into your head with every intrusive thought, quickly letting the thought pass on without making you feel like a horrible person. Instead of thinking "how could I think that" you'll begin to think "that darn OCD is doing it again," helping you get past some of the guilt and worry that can just make things worse. Always make sure that you talk to somebody about your thoughts or at least write them down

Don't stress out about your compulsions. Logically you may realize that what you are doing doesn't make sense ("I know that my hands were clean of germs after the first time I washed them, so I don't need to wash them three times."), but your just don't feel the results you are looking for. The compulsions are like a high. They make you feel better while you're doing them or immediately after you've done them, but eventually (sometimes very soon afterward), that security and relief you felt is replaced by anxiety, and you have to repeat the compulsion to get that feeling of relief again. Feel free to laugh at them rather than be embarrassed by them. ("Isn't it that silly. I just finished washing my hands and now I'm doing it again."). After all, it's not going to hurt you. It's just annoying, but take peace in knowing that eventually the anxiety will go away, and you will be able to feel relief again without your compulsions.

How Your Family Can Help: Do all of the things listed under "Postpartum Blues" and "Postpartum Depression/Anxiety" plus:

  • Don't say "how could you ...," "why are you ...," or any other such questions related to the disorder (she doesn't know the answer and it will just make her feel guilty)
  • Remind her that it's just the disorder
  • Indulge in her compulsions (keep the kitchen spotless, check the door to make sure that it's locked ten times, babyproof the house, hide the knives, etc

the whole explanation was copied verbatim from http://www.kristensguide.com/Family/Pregnancy/postpartum_disorders.asp

my biggest trigger was always news stories and hearing all the horrible things that can and did happen.   and you can't just isolate yourself, that leads to a whole new host of problems. you can't just pick and scan through threads, because titles are completely ambiguous a lot of the time..."omg, i can't believe this!" has titled many a post, from funny, to happy to downright nauseating.

 

my best guess is that you are heartless, souless demons who take delight in torturing people. 

if that isn't the case, then you are just someone who should probably take another second to think before she posts.

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Comments:

Aunti...
Feb. 2, 2008 at 5:15 PM

I have to agree when I had pp-ocd my step-mom found out and said "your not going to throw your baby from the bridge are you" I wanted to scream! I had to lock my doors turn off the TV and computer and turn on music and positive speakers to get past my depression to me when these things get posted it just feeds depression! Right now I am so sick to my stomach reading about the three mon. old baby that I want to lock my kids inside and never leave my home again!

This was two years ago but it is something I never want to experience again if ppl only would think before they speak or post this stuff! I was so upset at one point I contenplated suicide just in order to get the thoughts out of my head ppl thought I was loosing it but I had heard so much about moms drowning their baby's or other really horrible stuff that I was consumed with the thought of how could a mom do this would it be something I would do if they did it? It can literally drive you crazy!

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catho...
Feb. 2, 2008 at 7:05 PM

A dear friend in real life suffers from this. Between natural motherly instincts to protect and pp hormones..this can easily happen to anyone.

I also see the point you are making with this post, and I have to say that I agree so much to the point that I have thought the very same thing myself. I truly agree.

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catho...
Feb. 2, 2008 at 7:07 PM Wanted to add I found this post via a link..had it been based on the title alone, it would have been passed on...

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elleinad
Feb. 2, 2008 at 7:44 PM

THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS!

Posting the articles only instigates a desire in morbidity, and makes us no better than that whack job Nancy Grace -- vultures looking for every sordid little detail so we can justify our fear. If you want something to be done, involve yourself in child abuse causes -- donate your time, your money, and your resources to organizations that truly help kids. Child abuse happens -- the murder of children happens -- it's terrible, it's awful, and anyone who doesn't think babies are harmed on a constant basis are naive.  Posting articles doesn't END IT. DOING something DOES.

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Tempe...
Feb. 2, 2008 at 7:51 PM to Catholic mama, GOOD.  That was sort of the point.

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