My son has ADHD and ODD. I have a hard time getting along with him because we share a lot of the same personality. In a way I wish I was like his Daddy and could be all calm and collected and quiet. I can't I get tired of not being heard when I tell him to work on his homework, or put liners in the trash cans. Simple tasks take him forever and has a habit of frustrating me.

If you read this and have a child with ADHD and or ODD, please leave me a comment on what you've tried that just doesn't work, and things that have worked for you.

Thanks,

Michelle

P.S. I will probably add more to this later. 

Add A Comment

Comments:

momke...
Feb. 6, 2008 at 4:01 PM

what has worked..      one try making him repeat what you  told him to do.   it can be very insightful..    kind of like playing whisper down the lane..  but with two players and the end result is the same. ...LOL   also by having him repeat it sets it in his brain better..  

 now ..  that helps.. for a while.. but he sitll isn't getting it all .. I know.. I raised two..     so then the next step is to have him tell you what you said.. and  see if he knows what part he left out.. or ask him what he should be doing or should have done..     that  becomes a VERY important step with ADHDers.. 

they don't think much past this moment...  and by  making him think about what he should be doing..    he has to recall..   and he has to think.   

then there is the what did you do wrong..  angle..  and what should you have done..   this becomes VERY helpful..    you make him tell you what  would have been a better choice..   and it may be after the fact but it helps to get them thinking.

last but not least..   use things that happen on TV..    and ask him what was wrong with that behavior.. and what would have been a better choice and ...  WHY it was not a good idea

 this helps to get him to think in advance..   and  understand consiquenses... and trains..  yes TRAINS them to think for themselves before they do something they will regret.    as they get older they aren't right there for you to do their thinking..       so you have to help them to think before they act..   .....   and the beauty of this.. is no one is angry or upset..  the character in the show did it.. not your son so he is't mad and hasn't tuned you out.. 

it worked for my kids.     as they hit high school they were telling me what this one at school did that was not a good idea..   when you start hearing things like that..    it feels sooo.. good.

just the other night.   my cousin..    30 something was tellin my 22 year old dd that she should get drunk and crazy at a party in another state because it didn't matter.   She sat right there and said.. NO  she wouldn't do that..     she isn't like that.    Later she told me that she was nuts..    she  had more respect for herself than that.    and wouldn't take chances that somehthing might go wrong..   

that is great!! news for a mom to hear.     she also told me this cousin has asked her several times to go drinking with her since she was 21.. but she doesn't want to because this person is too wild for her..     and I say thank God!!!      my dd at 22 is smarter than the 30something..       

but I had to get her to think in advance..     and I did.. and it worked..     and I do thank God for it every day....  

yes it is a long journey.. but it is SoOOOOO  worth the trip!

Catherine

Message Friend Invite

babyg...
Feb. 6, 2008 at 7:47 PM Thanks Catherine for your insight. I am still struggling to figure out my boy, but I will try these approaches, they are real life things that we can try. Thank you. We just changed his dosage of Strettera from 18mg to 25mg on Monday the 4th and now we are seeing what happens with that.

Message Friend Invite (Original Poster)

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in