hello everyone i am a 31 single mom of a beautiful 9 yr old girl  i love my daughter to death  but she drives me nuts   i don't have time for myself rather if i'm talking on the phone or visting friends and relitives  she's always around  there is this guy that i am intrested  we talk several times a day on the phone  and when i am talking to him on the phone she has to be in the same room with me i'm lucky enough if i get to shower without her banging on the door mom    let alone i can't do anything  i haven't had a boyfriend in two years since my daughter's dad walked out the door so if anyone has any advice for me on this posting please  let me know  oh also  another thing is if i wanna spend time with my neices without her she won't go and stay at anyone's house unless i am their

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momma...
Feb. 2, 2008 at 9:19 PM

I am 30 and have 2 10 year old daughters. We homeschool and I have 2 other daughters...they are with me 24-7.

If I was you I would set uo a time late in the evening when your daughter is in bed to talk to your boyfriend. I was an only child to a single mom for quite awhile, most likely she is lonely and needs you. She may not act like it hurts that her dad left but she could be acting out. Also, have room time. When each of you spend alone time-read, paint your nails. etc. She isn't being punished. In general after 9pm I am done mothering unless it is an emergency. I tell my older girls I need time to relax, etc. Saturday nights we watch special shows and massage our hands and feet--paint nails, braid hair etc....I also try to do something with them, really listen, etc.

Dr. Laura would say not to be serious with a man until your daughter has left the home..I would have to agree even though I know it is not popular. My mom would put me in my room and have men over, she would sit in the room with me and talk om the phone for hours with men. When she had a boyfriend that is all she paid attention to. I would just be careful in the time you commit to him around your daughter. Make her a first priority, then yourself.

Nicole

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