A couple of months before my husband got deployed him and I had a huge fight I really don't remember what was it about, he had raise his hand like if he was going to hit me but he NEVER did, I was stressed out because I was basically doing everything in the house and i was working alot of hours at my job, when he really got me mad I looked at him in the eyes and said to him, "I HOPE YOU STAY IN IRAQ AND DIE OVER THERE", as soon as he heard those words come out of my mouth he grab his stuff and left for a couple  of days i didn't know where, when he came back after that argument he was acting way different he was treating me as if I didn't exist, after what I have said I deserved everything he said to me or did to me, ofcourse after a while I apologized and I told him that I understood him and that I deserved anything he said or did to me, but as sweet as he is he said he would never in his lifetime say anything or do anything to me that will hurt me but that never in his lifetime will he see me the way he did before i said what I said that he was just going to see me like the mother of his son, couple of months past by and he saw how much pain I was going thru with his difference he forgave me, but ever since that day I know he hasen't, i feell his difference, yeah there are times where I just want my life to be over, I love him dearly and I have done everything so he can forgive me, but ladies I know I am evil and cruel for had said that, I am always going to live with the guilt, I do deserve anything you ladies think of me, I just wanted to share this with everybody because I feel stressed if cant take it off my chest.


Add A Comment


Feb. 2, 2008 at 11:02 PM ouch... don't be so hard on yourself. sure it was harsh, but it's not like you were in sound mind when it was said.  It'd be a different story if you were sitting at the breakfast table reading the paper & drinking coffee and you like, "oh by the way honey, I hope you die in Iraq"..   now if that was the way it *really* went, then you are a horrible person.   (j/k)      My husband works in construction, so when we fight, I'm like, "I hope you fall off a roof today"   (b/c I know he never wears his harness)    I feel bad later, but he usually forgives me.   I think.

Message Friend Invite

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in