In the life of an ex-wife to a bipolar BOY…

   

My life has certainly not been easy, even now, when I am away from the madness.  You see I was married to a man with many addictions ranging from drugs and alcohol to gambling and women.  I have since escaped from the marriage part and now, it is the kids that have to face the brutal future of their father.  You see when he was young he was diagnosed with bipolar manic depression which if anyone reading this knows it is an up down road that never ends.  I had no idea what I was getting into when I met him…or had children with him.  I tried to leave several times but even the emotional destructive abuse could not stop the determination I had to try to keep my marriage together.  After so many years of him belittling me, I became numb to his words and even his actions and just did not care anymore. Not about him or anything to do with the thought of him.  I finally broke away after seven of the most horrifying years of my life.  Things have slowly gotten better.  I had to lose it all to gain, my girls and I are finally happy, and semi stable (because what family these days is really stable?)   However, there is still the problem of his attitude and his idea of how a father should be.  Apparently, it is okay to make promises to your kids and then turn around on them.  He is not the one who suffers it is them.  He is unable to feel the hurt that grows inside each time he lets them down.  That is when the powerful mommy comes out in me and I stand up and say the things I know they would say if they knew how.  That is also when he pulls out his old tricks of name-calling and abusive behavior.  Tonight was one of those nights.  We had gone for a few months without fighting only because I bit my tongue on several occasions…tonight I was not about to do that so I called and what do I get…my life threatened and that I am a slut.  Those things used to scare me and used to sting like a wound, but now I could really care less what he thinks.  He will try to harm me I am sure but I am not scared anymore and I have my own ways of protection…and as far as the rest well I just laugh because I know it is his own insecurities that cause him to say those things.  I just wish it had not taken me so long to get to this point, to feel like a powerful woman, because I am. I raise two of the best children in the world all by myself and that is something that is apparent to everyone.  I hope that anyone who reads this and may be facing the same dreading future realizes that it is not them who is misguided it is the person that lead them that way to begin with.  Destructive relationships are not something anyone should go through and if you feel like you are in one and they have made you feel like you are stuck I am living proof that you are not!  Always do what is best for you and in the end, you will make it. 

  

                                                                        Love and faith…

                                                                        Jennifer McKinney Sobkowski

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Comments:

littl...
Feb. 21, 2008 at 7:39 PM YOU ARE A VERY CORAGEOUS WOMAN, IT WASN'T EASY WHAT YOU DID BUT YOU DID IT FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND THAT'S ADMIRABLE!

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caley...
Feb. 29, 2008 at 1:48 AM You are an amazing woman. Im sorry you had to go through all of that, and Im sorry for your girls, but you really are amazing.

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