This was the question my 6 year old asked me today. See, we were in the car, my mom, myself, my 4 yr. old dd, my 6 yr. old ds, and my almost 2 yr old ds.  Mom and I were talking, the 2 and 4 yr. olds were sleeping.  We were talking about my 2 yr. old ds and all his "quirks".  Mom asked if he clapped, I don't remember how we got onto that, but she asked for some reason.  I said, "no, well..." and before I could finish, my 6 yr old said, "He USED to, of course, he USED to say YAY and he USED to play with me and he USED to like us.  But that was when he was a baby.  I want my BABY brother back because he USED to like me."  At this point he started to cry.  "Mommy, WHY doesn't S like me anymore, why won't he play with me, why doesn't he laugh or smile when I do something funny.  He used to laugh when I did funny things.  He used to smile when I did the dancing, singing thing.  Now, he just sits there, or runs into the clubhouse.  What is WRONG with him?"

 I think the worst part isn't knowing that my baby has regressed, or that his "quirks" are getting worse, but NOT knowing WHY.  He USED to be perfectly normal.  NOW, he bites himself, won't talk, won't even say "mama" like he USED to do.  He won't let you give him kisses, when he USED to love that.  He won't ask for cuddles like he USED to.  He won't even smile unless you work hard to get one out of him.  When most kids have been asking "up" since they were a year old, he NEVER asks to be picked up.  When most  kids are blowing kisses and waving bye-bye, he just sits there staring out a window.  Perfectly content to stare some more.

Then, there are the stares.  At the bookstore today, they have a train table, well, ds LOVES trains.  So, as usual, he was playing at the train table.  The 6 yr. old needed to go to the bathroom, so I grabbed the 4 yr. old and the 2 yr old and started off to find the bathroom.  Well, here the 2 yr. old is, pulling out of my hand to go back to the train table.  I go and pick him up and we are walking to the bathroom while he is screeching and biting his hands.  I ended up having to pin his hands down so he wouldn't bite them, so he starts to shake his head around slamming his body backwards.  Yes, it looks like a normal tantrum to many, but to me, I know the difference.  When he is upset about not getting what he wants, he usually just puts his head down on the floor and whimper.  This was a complete meltdown, and nothing I do will stop it or ease it.  So, of course, as I am going to the bathroom I have people staring at me.  The whole way, people stopping and staring.  HELLO, as if it isn't difficult enough dealing with a child who wants to injure himself (and yes, he has drawn blood on himself before), now I have spectators on top of that. 

 His appt. to find out what is going on, or should I say to start finding out, isn't until the end of Feb. It's the earliest appt. they had.  And I feel like I am going to lose my mind just waiting.  And then, I have to deal with military doctors.  I don't want someone to make me feel like nothing is wrong because I KNOW something is wrong.  I just don't know WHAT is wrong.  DH and Mom are even saying something is up and we need to find out what.  I usually worry about things, even little things, and dh is usually the one saying, "Oh, it's just their way".  So if HE says it's an issue, you know it is. 

I don't even know why I'm typing this out.  It hasn't helped.  I am still left with about 20 days before even having the first appt.  I am still left with a child that I can't help.  Usually typing these things out helps.  Apparently, not this time.

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Comments:

I5150...
Feb. 3, 2008 at 12:47 AM sad situation, my prayers are with you and your family. Have you ruled out any day care or baby sitting care givers treating him wrong?  One of my friends had drastic changes in her sons behavior and found out he was bullied by several of the kids in day school and by one of the day care providers.

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Crash...
Feb. 3, 2008 at 12:49 AM Im sorry to hear that your having problems.  How long has this been going on? I wish i had suggestions to offer.  I just wish you the very best

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Petie
Feb. 3, 2008 at 12:53 AM

I'm a SAHM so no daycare. 

 He was right on target at about 15 months old, then by 18 months no more speech, the rest has started from 18 months to now, and he is 23 months old.  So, in the span of 8 months he has gone from a normal, albeit fairly laid back, baby, to what he is today.

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mommy...
Feb. 3, 2008 at 12:57 AM this is the first time I have ever gave a comment so i hope im doing it right.  Nobody knows your child better than you!  If you feel there is something wrong than its up to you to make sure someone listens to you!  If I were in your shoes this is what I would do.  First thing I would do is call back the dr. office and say I need to get an apt. sooner than what was given to me have there been any cancelations.  If they say no then I would say ok than just so you know it is very inportaint that I get him in right away so im going to call everyday to see if there was a cancelation.   I wish you luck and just remember a mother knows when something is not right.  I had a dr. once tell me my son was fine and the next day we were in the ER.  GO WITH YOUR GUT!

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prekta
Feb. 3, 2008 at 1:00 AM

Hello fellow Mom, I am so sorry about what your going through. Have faith and hope. That is the only thing I can really say. He needs your extra attention right now and hold him close whenever you can anyway. It is obviously something in his brain causing this strange behavior.  But, I would seek advice where ever possible whenever your able. I would even {If you were really desperate for some answers} go to the Emergency room the next time he bleeds or causes self injury. They would probably do a brain scan, MRI or just the necessary test to get some idea of what's going on...

I hope the best for you & your family. Your all in my prayers. Many Blessings to you, Tami

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Crash...
Feb. 3, 2008 at 4:55 AM At 15 months did you get your the vaccanations they recommend?  Im sorry to keep asking so many questions, I have just heard so much about the vaccanations and stuff so I was curious to see if you had gotten them.

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Mom_2...
Feb. 4, 2008 at 3:37 PM I have a son that has Asperger Syndrome.  It is in the same family of disorders as Autism.  Please, if you have questions or want to talk or vent, PM me.  I feel like I was where you are now about 2 years ago.  I have done a few things with him that have really helped.  I had a great early intervention specialist give me A TON of help.  I would be happy to share if you are interested.  I also have some materials for helping siblings deal with this!  Hang in there!

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