Well, I'm still fairly new around here, but i have read hundreds of journals and posts on cafemom, so i know this is a great place to look for other mom's who maybe feel some of the things i do, and i would love to know how they handle them.  here goes...

i spend 99% of my time just feeling overwhelmed and depressed. but, let me stress that i'm not on a suicidal level of depression, i have much to be thankful for and i know it.   I've got a lot on my plate right now - all through my own choosing, i know.  3 kids (hoping for more!), in college part time (so is my hubby), sahm, girl scout leader, taxicab to dance class, music lessons, etc... and constant babysitter for friend's children.  it's not that i can't say no, i DO, frequently.  and it's not that i'm unhappy - all i have to do is spend five minutes with my kids (when they're not fighting of course!) or my hubby and i'm feeling pretty darn good.  i love them with all my heart.  but what i find happening to me is probably depression.  or maybe bipolar? i don't know.  i feel like a big whiner because i can name 5 people right now who have things way worse than i do, and i have no desire to be medicated so i haven't discussed anything with my doctor.  it's not so much that i'm unhappy, but i go through these periods off and on of just complete lack of motivation to do ANYTHING and feeling resentful when i have to scramble last minute to do something.  my house pretty much always stays a mess (thank god i have an awesome hubby who has never made an issue of it in the last 10 years!)  but i do cook everyday, do laundry and dishes darn near everyday.  so i'm not completely down on myself, but i just can't seem to get it together most days.  sundays are usually great, we go to church which is generally an uplifting experience.  Wednesdays are girl scout night, which is always great.  but i can be in the middle of a "cycle" and perk up for those few hours, then i come home and i just want to lay in bed and read.    i pretty much lose my sexual drive alltogether when i go through these downtimes (not very conducive to baby makin wink wink).  so, how do you motivate yourself when all you want to do is play with the kids and do nothing else?  i know i must be lacking a certain degree of maturity here, that yes i CAN stare at  a mess and do nothing about it.  then when i start feeling better i go around like a whirlwind getting the house cleaned up, but it seems like before i even get done there's a giant mess again and i give up.  and then i usually sink back into my same "pit" of thinking what's the point?    when i'm feeling pretty good, i start all kinds of projects but always seem to give up on them too, at least for a little while.   i also tend to let other people's problems become my own.  i can read about or hear about something tragic that happened to someone else, and dwell on it for days.    i figure i'm probably depressed or bipolar   but the thing is - i am greatly against meds for ME, a few allergy pills make me loopy.  me and meds don't mix very well - every negative side effect follows me around.   if you ever feel like i do, how do you get out of it? i pray, though probably not as much as i should, i make sure i get out of the house regularly, i take my vitamins.    help me ladies!!

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I5150...
Feb. 3, 2008 at 1:22 AM hello, now I am no mental health expert~~~ I think you need to SLOW DOWN!!!! Have you heard of exhaustion??? overdoing? too many moms get into so many things that they don't even have time to breathe!!! I would say wait 6 months or a year before considering adding to your blessed brood!!! I am exhausted just reading your post! Mother of one!!!

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Angel...
Feb. 3, 2008 at 1:33 AM

I'd talk to my doctor about....I understand where you're comming from not wanting to take meds...but what if it's something that you need treated ASAP?? It doesn't sound like depression...it's possibly bi-polar....I've never had such times...a bad day here or there but nothing like you're decribing....so I don't know what to tell you. Go to your doctor...talk to him/her....see what they have to say, you can always refuse the meds if you don't want to take them...the doctor isn't going to force anything on you! I don't think your whining. Everyone has their own personal problems that they need help with. My personal issue is that after having my daughter 8wks early and had a month stay in the NICU..she came home at 4lbs 2oz....which was scary...and hubby going to work soon after she came home...I was alone. Then in august my hubby ended up in the hospital...and is currently still there...and we're looking at him comming home in august....realistically anyways....So no you're not going through what I am (THANKFULLY cause I wouldn't wish it on anyone...EVER) But you are having your own personal issues which are just as important as my problems!!! So chin up and get some advice...even if that's the only thing that you get out of it. GOOD LUCK keep me updated please!

***Nicki

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Lb128f
Feb. 3, 2008 at 3:16 AM Great advice above....and I agree...do talk with your Doc. If you need meds that is what they are for..it doesn't mean you would have to take them forever. Other things you might take a look at are "natural" remedies and the possibility of something like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (good days/bad days)?

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jklmama
Feb. 7, 2008 at 11:20 AM thanks ladies.  well, i think it was the expressing of my feelings in this post, but i am feeling much better these last few days.  i probably should have mentioned that i have a diagnosis of fibromyalgia, and through researching i have found that depression is  a side effect.  Also, my hubby thinks (and i think he just may be right) that my sleep cycle is probably behind a lot of my motivation issues.  if i don't get a full nights sleep (which happens way too often with a 2 year old who loves to wake up at 2am for chocolate milk and a snuggle)  i definitely have no motivation the next day.  and when this happens days on end, well maybe i just get too behind on my sleep.  so for now, i'm still taking my vitamins - which seems to be helping a little, i have read that a B12 deficiency can affect your moods, so i made sure i found a 1 a day that has plenty b12 in it.  thanks so much for your support though, and i would still love to hear ideas on how to motivate yourself when you feel like doing nothing. 

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