So we went out last night and when we went to breakfast we got on the BM topic and he was drunk but I was trying to tell him he needed to keep his kewl until we get a court case and somehow we had goten on the topic of I should have left him a long time a ago and how I never feel appricated in this house How he goes to the store and never thinks about me when getting everyone else in the house something. And how much I have put up with he says oh you want to talk about the past and bring up I put up with just as much shit as you maybe not as severe. How in the freaskin world does me not being a good house keeper which I havent been since day one come anywhere close to me living on the streets several times since we have been together and a few of them times I was pregant with his child all his affairs, the fact he is an in denal alcoholic.

My biggest fault is I am not a great house keeper not super strict on the kids and I dont want to have sex 80% of the time well that one is a duh I mean who can possible feel special with a man who sleeps with at least 5 other woman in our relationship In the 13 yrs and the several split ups I have had one other relationship a whole 2 week fling but we wasnt together He will try to say we was getting back together but that is what he wanted he wanted to just be able to move back in with me when he felt like it.

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Feb. 3, 2008 at 9:26 AM i don't want to be harsh, but why are you with him? 1affair MIGHT be forgivible, but multiple affairs are a deal breaker.

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Feb. 3, 2008 at 9:30 AM

I'd ditch him! Get real girl! get yourself a life and get on with it!


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Feb. 3, 2008 at 9:31 AM Why would you want someone like that in your life? Seriously never gets 'better'  only worse. When he knows he can take advantage of you over and over again, he always will. Always.

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Feb. 3, 2008 at 10:15 AM Your profile is private, so I could not read your other journals. I use to be around & live with a drunk, a couple of different times. My sweetheart you can not talk about such issues with a drunk man, they do not communicate or understand anything while drunk. I read your post & I am thinking she must love him to put up with this disrespect. No that is what other people think. What is LOVE? I had to ask myself that. 15 years & 3 bad men. All the same but with their different sets of problems. All of them using some substance to mask THEIR character flaws while pointing ALL of mine out. The drinking, other women, break ups, lack of participation when it comes to parenting, etc..... What makes a woman put up with such? It is not love, it is called co-dependency. I learned a lot about MYSELF when I sought help through counseling services. The first step is to tell yourself that you are special & it is not okay to be with a man that will do this over & over to you. The second step is to seek help to find out why you think so little of yourself that you will settle for such unhealthy behavior from your mate. You deserve better. After 13 years, your self-esteem or lack there of is probably playing a major role. Find some help & move forward, life is too short to go through it dazed, not knowing yourself. It is just my experience & opinion, but when you go out drinking with a man like this, this is how breakfast will always turn out. If it wasn't the BM topic, it would just be another & always your fault. I quit working in & going to bars. I quite trying to put my troubles in a bottle, got sober & got help. My child is all the more better off for it. Nothing good comes from being around & drinking with a man that is like this. I stopped & asked myself one day, "This is how he is. Do I want to spend the rest of my life like this? " NO !!!! So day by day I take baby steps toward a fresh new me on a fabulous journey toward learning to love myself. I am single & free of the mental abuse that goes a long with being with & knowing men that act like this. & FREE from all their other F^*^ed up BS !!! No longer my problem, never should have been in the first damn place, I was just lost & needed to find my way back. It is not easy to embark on or take the journey that I am describing, but well worth it. It ain't easy trying to be in this world & make it on my own.[ stress & bills wise ] Who says I'll be doing that by myself forever, I plan on having another mate one day & you can bet he won't be a screwed up shell of a so-called man because I am learning how to keep those FAR away with my new radar skills. It ain't easy at all, but it is SO PEACEFUL !!!! A PEACE that I have never known & I suggest to any & all, search for this kind of PEACE within yourself & your household. It is so nice to get to know me, myself & I. She is pretty fantastic !!!!!!!!!!! Good luck !!!! I'm sure you know that none of this will end until you put a stop to it. You can't change him, help him or teach him. He is grown & responsible for himself & they way he treats his family. If you want to live & feel like this skip my advice, if you don't them make the big move toward respecting & loving yourself. CHANGE is often necessary & very good for yourself. You can NOT help an alcoholic or a drug addict. They either want to stop & make a change or they don't & THEY are the ones that decide that for themselves. NO ONE & I mean NO ONE can do it for them. So what if you have 13 years invested. [ I use to think that way, too ] You want the next 13 to be like this? You can change that !!!!!!!!!!

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Feb. 4, 2008 at 6:26 PM It seems the lady before me gave you some very good advice. I hope you take it, And get rid of him. If not for your sake. Then do it for the sake of your children. They should not be raised in a home with a man like this. What kind of life is he teaching them to live. Please be a responsible parent and make the right choice for your children. Be good to yourself. And get rid of him. He may not appreciate anything you have done for him. But when you leave and he is having to pay child support. He may wish he did show a little appreciation. Don't go back, Just start a new life on your own. And give your children a chance to know what it is to live in a stable environment.

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