A few things about living in florida

"Down South" means Miami

"Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.

You think no one over 70 should be allowed to drive.

Flip-flops are everyday wear.

Shoes are for business meetings and church.

No, wait, flip flops are good for church too, unless it's Easter or

Sweet tea can be served at any meal.

An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.

You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip or cruise to Florida.

You measure distance in minutes.

You have a drawer full of bathing suits....and one sweatshirt.

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

All the local festivals are named after a fish or a fruit.

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.

You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer,
not summer but really hot and Christmas.

It's not soda, cola, or pop...its coke, regardless of brand or flavor, "What kinda coke you want?"

Anything under 95 is just warm.

Anything under 70 is chilly.

You've hosted a hurricane party.

You go to a theme park for an afternoon and know when to get on the best rides.

You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.

You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee and Withlacoochee.

You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat than have a boat yourself.

Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, and a confederate flag.

You were 8 before you realized they made houses without pools.

You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.

You get angry when people say "Florida isn't really part of the SOUTH"

You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.

You know what the "stingray shuffle" is and why it's important!

Socks are only for bowling

Orange juice from concentrate makes you vomit

Tap water makes you vomit

You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes

A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store but everything to do with shade.

Your winter coat is made of denim

You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites

You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65

You could swim before you could read

You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

Every other house had blue roofs in 2004-2005

You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.

You dread lovebug season.

You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.

You know what a snowbird is and you hate them.

You know why flamingos are pink.

You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

You were 12 before you ever saw snow or you still haven't.

 Im a Floridian!

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Feb. 3, 2008 at 12:50 PM

OMG this was soooo funny! I was going to list my favorites, but it took up too much space!

Thanks for the laugh today :)


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Feb. 3, 2008 at 2:50 PM

This is really funny. I obviously am not a Floridian, but have to agree with so many of these.  The only grocery is deffinetly Publix this plave ROCKS we just got one a few months ago about 2mi from my house before I had been known to drive 30 min to one.  I happen to be on a first name basis with Ivan since he did ruin our first family vacation which was suppose to have been spent in Gulf Shores but after driving 7hrs we had to turn around, then where we spent the night was being evacuated at 6am so we ended up driving all the way to St. Augustine just to get away from that freakin hurricane.  We were also evactued for Dennis from florida.

We vacation in Florida every year in Cape San Blas I love this place and would stay for month if we could, we have some friends that actually do.  We honeymooned in Vero Beach at a friends parents "winter home" 

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Feb. 3, 2008 at 3:53 PM that is pretty funny! I moved to Florida once 7 years ago and it was SOOO hot I couldnt stand it and moved back home to Ohio after only 5 months lol

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Feb. 15, 2008 at 2:23 PM this is hysterical and yes, I live in Florida!

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Feb. 17, 2008 at 3:43 PM I love this!  I could relate to ALL!!! I have been here 15 years and wouldn't go anywhere else! :)

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