Let me start off with saying I love my husband Jai, and I know he would never do anything to hurt me intentionally.

As I got out of the shower one day, I remember putting on my white bath robe. Jokingly he bent me over the bed and pulled up the back of my robe. Before he knew it I was up and over the bed, on to the floor and in the corner crying. He had no idea what had just happened.
One of my ealiest memories is the one of my step-dad doing just that. Only he held me down and I had no where to go. I told him he was hurting me, and I was crying in pain. He didn't care, he told me he was almost done. When he was done he told me to get dressed. I went to the bathroom and discovered that I was bleeding. He helped me put toilet paper in my unicorn printed panties. He also told me I better not tell my mom or I would be in a lot of trouble because what I had done was wrong, and she'd be very upset with me. I was only 6 when this started...

I remember there being commercials with puppets telling kids not to keep a secret if an adult has told you not to tell and its something that makes you unfortable. I was to affraid to tell my mom though, I didn't want to get in trouble.


This is the latest entry in my blog Philomena's Blog

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Feb. 3, 2008 at 10:44 AM that is so sad, Im so sorry you had to go thru with something so awful.

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Feb. 3, 2008 at 10:54 AM i had also been through something similar. as you get older it is easier to deal with.... not that it ever goes away. i really hope your husband is understand to this. you probably have ptsd... and that is tough to deal with. does your husband know about your childhood? maybe he would understand better. if you ever need to vent i am here. i am a survivor.

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