I'm am so beyond Angry, I'm LIVID

[pennyia]

And I need to vent before I go pick my son up, so that he doesn't get the brunt of my anger. It isn't all his fault.... I know it isn't all his fault... I just have to keep reminding myself.

 My 19 yr old son has screwed up A LOT in his recent past, and I just blew it and he screwed up, yet again.

 He had his license taken from him two years ago. Then he got stopped and they found him driving without a license one night.  So it's taken a long time to get his license back.  He's eligible to get his license again now, but he failed the driving test. Well, he hasn't drivin for over 18 months... so we both agreed he needs to practice driving - right? So, he got a learner permit... and of course, that means he wants to drive, right?

 Up until last night, I wouldn't let him borrow my car. But it's miserable cold out, and his work is across the street (but through a long winding parking lot from the apartment). So, he had to run over to 'fix' something for five minutes. Came home... all good.

Then, he gets on me about how he's not really getting any practice and he really wants to retest on Saturday... so can he borrow the car. To do what? Well, he googled a couple of car dealerships in our neighborhood and the neighboring one. Could he borrow the car to look at cars? Maybe hit the mall. I didn't want to leave the house as my little boy was running a high temp and didn't need to go out in this weather.  And I can't very well leave him alone. After two hours of badgering, I finally caved.... stay in these two neighborhoods... by home early (i.e., before midnight), etc.  

Well, he lied to me. He didn't want the car to go look at cars. He drove out of town -- 100 miles out of town to go see a girl he met online.  GRRRR and my concern, is that she's probably an underage girl ... like 15! I just want to kill him.  I do. Seriously.

 I'm even more angry and livid about the fact that the car died half-way home (which is how he got caught, he had to call and admit where he was). It's about 60 miles from the nearest repair shop that can do warranty work. It's going to cost over $100 to tow it to town, I don't know if what's wrong with it or if what's wrong is even under warranty!  I have to now, go rent a car and drive out there (with a still sick child, although thankfully no longer feverish) to go get him!

I know that the car breaking down isn't his fault.... but it's his fault that he lied to me to go see some girl. He took the car out of town when I explicitly told him where he was allowed to drive. AND because of this, it's going to cost a near fortune to get this all dealt with. I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY!  I should have broken down and filed for bankruptcy last year when I first thought about it. We've already been foreclosed out of our home and my wages are being garnished with bills that climbed up and accumulated while I was ill for two years.  

 

I'm not asking for anything.... don't think this is one of those people!.... I just needed to vent.  I know that  part of being a teenager is not thinking about anyone other than yourself. I do. I'm just sick of it though.

Penny 

[arewehvnhfunyet]

Mar. 21, 2008 at 8:45 PM

I am a single mom to a teen as well, I feel your pain sister! Vent away! I also blow up at times at my kids, then feel horrible, is a rollercoaster ride, for SURE!!!! I think writing your thoughts down as you did instead of unleashing on your son was the right thing to do, good job, pat yourself on the back!

I am here if you want to talk, it helps!

Lisa