SAD

[newmommie37]

Where do I start! Someone once told me, If you need to vent and have noone to talk to, write it down!! So here I go!!!! I am so upset with my husband! Why is it men think they work harder than you because they work more hours? Why is it they think they deserve to hang out with there boys because they worked hard all week!! I am so tired of him telling me that I only work 3 days a week and I am not as stressed as he is!! I dont think he realizes I work part-time outside the house and I am a Full-time Mom inside the house!!!!!  I am so stressed with this situation  that I find myself screaming at my daughter when she does something wrong. I love being a mom and I love my baby girl with every breath in my body!!! I just get so tired of him leaving me with everything to do.  My house is a mess because I refuse to do it all by myself, so I just stopped cleaning and after three days you think he would jump in and help!!!!! Hell No!!!! I am tired of being the perfect wife!! We had another fight tonight because he was at work all day and came home ate, watched a little tv and  went to play cards again at the neighbors house. I was at home all day with the little one and that damn puppy he just had to have!!!! Like I dont need a break!!! Now I am second guessing myself!! Is it me!! Am I letting my hormones get the best of me? Am I over reacting?  I have stopped working out, I dont get my hair done like I use to, My face is broke out from all the stress, I just feel and look crappy!!!! I cry all the time and I remember I use to be so much stronger than this!!!!! I was watching a show tonight, a mother was giving her daughter some advice!! She said suck it up, it's all apart of motherhood!! Is that what I should do ladies!!  Am I being a drama queen!!!

[Kiter]

Feb. 22, 2008 at 10:33 PM

not all men think that. I'm glad mine never has even considered to think that. I hope your husband gets his act together soon

--Kimberly

my weird dream: http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read.php?post_id=792389

[DeannaScraps]

Feb. 22, 2008 at 10:36 PM No, you're not being a drama queen! I don't understand it either. My first husband was horrible that way. He thought that because I worked at a desk, it wasn't work. Never mind the hour + commute to down town Los Angeles everyday and having a boss from hell. He was an electrician and worked outside a lot. He was a jerk. Have you tried talking to him about this? Maybe you can get a day out with the two of you alone and then bring the subject up in a gentle way. I hope you can get some relief soon! I don't know why it has to be pointed out to guys sometimes, but we do. They're just big kids after all their macho stuff.

[Sylbroyles]

Feb. 22, 2008 at 10:37 PM

You need a babysitter!  can grandma come and help?  You definetely need a break!

Just b/c we are moms, doesn't mean we have to give up life!  go out with the girls!  I do every month.

Go get your nails and hair done!

Kick the puppy to the pound or tell him to take the dog with him to the guys house.

Does he work tomorrow?  If not ~ leave early to the gym while kiddo and DH are sleeping, work out, shower and change at gym, and go have some fun.  go to breakfast, or meet the girls for coffee.

 

[carleysanchez]

Feb. 22, 2008 at 10:43 PM I am sorry that you are having a tough time.  Being a mom is the most unrecognized job in the world!  Unless you have been there, you just don't understand.  Everything you do gets messed up and the sacrifices that you make for your children are many!  I have been struggling with some of the same feelings and have come to the conclusion that I need to switch to a positive attitude or else nothing will get better.  This doesn't mean that I am telling you to be hubby's doormat, I just think that I personally will not be happy unless I let it go a little.  In my particular situation, my husband gets mad when he gets home and the house is messed up.  Well, I work from home and have a 2 yr old and a 2 month old...of course it's a mess!  But, I have decided that it means a lot to him to have the house picked up, so I set a timer for 15 minutes and pick it up before he gets home...that's it, that's all...but it feels better because I am not doing it as a martyr, I am just doing it to make him happy.  IDK what to tell you about him going out all the time.  You know, maybe you could trade babysitting with someone you know so that you can get a break a little and do things for yourself without having to pay a sitter.  I NEED to work out or else I am just no fun to live with, maybe try to figure out the time to get out and do that to start with.

[autumnjoy3]

Feb. 22, 2008 at 11:06 PM Sweetie you are not being a drama queen at all. Secondly no it is not you, your husband is being very selfish (like lots of men, it's in their genes, smile) & very inconsiderate.  Don't get yourself upset and stressed by arguing with him, action speaks louder then words. Just get  up on a Saturday or Sunday when you know he sleeps late, and leave him in the house with the baby & puppy. Take yourself to the hair salon, movies and out to eat, then come home after dark and see his puss(mouth) on the floor. He will be so done founded, he will be like what the heck is going on. See men learn by example, not arguing, they love a good argument, it gets them off the hook every-time and gives them reason to go out and walk out. Just get your plan in motion and leave his butt in the house with the little one and leave a little note that you had to step out for a short while and then stay out doing your thing, (the things that make you happy. Then and only then will he realize what time it is. Do this about 2 times a month  of times and you will see him change, oh and do it on a night when he comes home from work. After all we all do need a break don't we. Change your game plan and stop being so predictable and do you, get that pedicure, hair done and he will get the hint real quick. Now pull yourself together & breath.   

[newmommie37]

Feb. 24, 2008 at 5:19 PM

Thanks Ladies for the words of wisdom, it is greatly appreciated!!

 

(Original Poster)